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It's an odd title, and I dare say won't attract many responses, but I thought I'd share what I've been up to this past three weeks. My wife works in a bakery shop, and off her own back has for several years made up window displays for the seasons and a few public holidays. For this Summer, she asked me to build a narrow boat for her (sorry about this!) Rosie & Jim dolls. They are quite large, and have voice recordings with a variety of sayings and giggleings. Nuff said. The following shows the model I have constructed using scrap cardboard and a few pieces of plywood, held together with glue from a hot glue gun and gummed brown paper strip. I based it on a Thomas Clayton tanker boat as depicted on the cover of Tony Lewery's 'Narrow Boat Painting' GIFFORD, but it's not accurate as you will see. Nonetheless, comments welcome. I guess it will burn well once I've tired of trying to find somewhere to put it. It's in the shop window in Wenlock right now. Probably be there until Halloween. The rudder is out of proportion - the blade should be much higher, and the back end looks more like a GU butty, but it's hung in the traditional way using a Schrader valve collar; piece of welding wire, and an old metal tent peg. No chimney brass for Rosie & Jim, spent too much on cakes. Plates and crochet fitted. Scumbling cardboard is not to be recomended, especially with 40yr old scumble paint. More theatre than accuracy. The range shows a flickerin fire through the 'bars' courtesy of two electronic 'tea' candles though switched off in this shot. The lamp is made from a straw; piece of rubber fuel line; a shortened nail (wick adjuster); a plastic bottle top for the shade, all squeezed into a plated casting that was a tea pot, with the spout and handle cut off. Regretably it does not light up. Catherine's Bakery, 20 Barrow Street, Much Wenlock.

No, that one is a bad idea, badly executed.

I was four at the time. I was allowed to stay up for the landing, but I have no memory of it, so I suspect I was asleep on the sofa. What I do remember is my class at infant school being trooped into the hall to sit cross-legged on the floor and watch one of the later missions on one of those big B&W tellies with legs and wheels and doors which schools used to have. After a while the class was trooped out again to get on with whatever they were supposed to be doing but I refused to move, and sat there all afternoon, spellbound, as other classes trooped in and out. The inner nerd was strong, even then. MP.

The only thing that could write off a stern tube / stern gland and shaft is serious misalignment, the shaft may have worn the front part of the stuffing box. Either that or there is virtually no packing in it. This is one of those times that I wish I lived nearer as there are a lot of 'experts' around that really aren't. Unfortunately I am nowhere near you. If I were you I would offer a couple of cans of beer to some untidy and oily boater to have a quick look. I fear you may be getting bad advice - I hope not but another opinion could be useful.

Blimey, dont tel the NBTA

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well: Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order, for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore is extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A

I thought you meant that they were selling moorings somewhere on the canal?

Can I suggest a rather less theoretical approach? How about three long sticks with the ends tied to form a U shape. Plunge the "crossbar" under the boat at the stern and mark the waterline on both vertical sticks where they emerge from the water. The draft will then be the average of both wet lines on the vertical sticks? All very practical but it should work to the tolerances you need for the task.

Would be better to feed it into an anaerobic digestor to produce more gas.

Well, I like it!! I ignore all the incorrect ways of saying things and the clatters and bangs and the wrong information about this and that. What I'm seeing is a pretty mismatched group of people who are discovering what a joy it is to be on the water, on a boat and be part of the landscape, the community, the history. Good old John Prescott is genuinely impressed with all the engineering side and I love that. Michael Buerk is astonished at how much he's come to enjoy it all. And I don't believe either of those two are putting it on. So it makes me remember my earliest days on the water. I was hooked after a week and I probably did most of the things they've been doing. But I don't care; I still feel exactly the same about going out on the boat as I did a couple of decades ago, so if they are picking up on just a tiny bit of what we all feel then I'm really pleased for them. Jo

Human Race

I have just been reading one of these metal information signs on the side Middlewich about amoungst things the origin of boat people. It says in the "did you know" section that Gypsies were employed to paint the early narrowboats and that in 1795 there were 103 boat masters registered of gypsy heritage. This seems to be contrary to all the history books I have read such as Hadfield who suggest boat people were recruited from farmers, who were already skilled with horses, river workers and even navies. The fact that the figure of 103 families is stated with authority implies they are referring to some official census. Does anyone know of such a register? Or can this be put down to the perpetuation of the myth of gypsies and narrowboats.

I can't agree. The round pin sockets will reliably carry significantly greater currents than cigar style sockets are generally capable of, (particularly if you use the 5A variety rather tan the 2A variety). The latter are OK-ish for simple low current charging tasks, but not really so for anything even slightly more demanding

What a damned silly place to park a car!? George

The only rare species that has been lost from the area is the dam keeper, I wonder if they did a risk analysis back then............

I am worried that a wildlife preservation review was not carried out before the Chinooks were drafted in. How many rare species were living in that part of the spillway before the aggregate was dropped on it?

You spent a fortune on a new oil pressure switch? What other work has the engineer done?

I have has a concrete drive for 37 years and the worst that has happened is some grass between the slabs. It is still level and firm despite periodic flooding of the garden.

Surprised no one has suggested Canal and River Trust ...

hi every one all sorted know ..i got a nice leather one from furniture warehouse lichfield i will put a photo up when it comes over the weekend ..regards

There is just enough space to squeeze between the end of the long term moorings and the winding hole although it's often occupied by a 'local'.

Which makes it a bit limiting!!

Don't know how long you're staying in Brighouse, but if you're still there tomorrow, you shouldn't miss the Market Tavern, a relatively new micropub with superb beer and a great atmosphere (closed Mon & Tues). It's errr, next to the market. Failing that if you're not a Wetherspoons snob, then the Brighouse one is very impressive. I like Brighouse - as you say everything to hand and a thriving High Street.

If the river is high enough to be able to step straight off, I'd rather not be on it on a narrowboat.

It's an expansion vessel.....

A couple came in last month, engine basically stopped dead whilst coming through a bridge a mile away...they drifted to the side and called RCR. They were halfway round the Oxford ring, and had to be in Henley in a weeks time. Agent attended, looked at engine tried to start it, it wouldn't, although solenoid clicked. He diagnosed faulty starter motor, possibly also starter battery, and probably complete engine seizure. He said nobody from RCR could come out for 6 days to do the starter motor....which had to be changed before they could try anything else. The.couple came in, asked if there were any starter motor repair places nearby, we said, bring the boat to us, we will have a look.. .and gave them our two punting poles. They arrived next morning after dropping their car to us, not expecting an easy or quick fix, and drove off to Henley. We tried to start the engine, ..I said gearbox. An identical noise only a previous week in another boat with a Hurth,...with the same symptoms on an ancient boat I was moving. We tested batteries ,no problem. We dropped the gearbox off the engine, the engine turned easily. New hurth gearbox installed, starter was working as it should, gave the couple a call, who had only just got home, and told them they could continue their cruise. They came back next morning and set off. ? Funnily enough, 3 days later, they called us with another problem. They came out of a lock in Hemel Hempstead and the engine kept cutting out, it would start again, and then, cut out, they managed to moor up and call us. I told them they had run out of fuel, they said, no, we should have had plenty. I asked when they last filled up, it became vague, so I said, use your RCR membership for something they can help you with, but dont tell them you have run out of fuel. RcR attended, and sure enough, sheepish chap came to pick his car up a week later and took the stick he was due for running out of fuel very well.?

Noodles! (Eventually ...)

Same here. I'm now at an age when I simply can't safely get down into the bilge round the engine and expect to get out again without a fair bit of long term pain. And my original engineer is older than me... That being said, the parts I really worry about are things like the starter, alternator, flexible coupling and gearbox, all of which are covered. I don't think my current oil leak will be covered at all as it's probably wear and tear anyway, or possibly the result of a botched previous repair, but then I haven't actually broken down and can get to a yard under my own steam. If i couldn't, they'd tow me. If I'm anywhere near either of my longterm engineers, I'd rather call them out myself and pay them for the job because I know what they can do, but if I'm not, having the insurance of RCR is reassuring. The guys they use are variable in quality, that's all.

I agree a lesson or two needs to be learned. No one has been harmed have they? Blame culture seems to me a relatively modern illness for which there may be no cure in sight.

For a boat that length, no map is going to give you a definitive answer whether it will fit through a particular lock. There are simply too many variables in the exact length of the boat and shape of the bow and stern, together with diferences in the exact layout of individual locks of nominally the same size.

Brexit?

You have to be careful doing that otherwise you’ll find little protons appearing all over the place.

Its an environment issue. When the worlds governments get together and ban the millions of flights for holidays each year burning millions of tons of fossil fuel and after we have an infrastructure to charge the millions of nissan leafs we are all going to be driving in less than nineteen years in the UK, then perhaps an infrastructure will be put in for grey water tanks?

I'm guessing that the £150 is to have something fitted professionally, not to do it yourself? Otherwise yes, maybe £30 to £40 for a suitable vessel, and maybe another tenner for the plumbing bits required. It's not always entirely obvious, but a flexible tap connector is often the best way of joining to the parallel threaded brass connector that many are fitted with.