Gongoozlers

[Grassman]

I know we've all from time to time had the same inane questions from the non-boating public, I suppose the most common being 'how do you keep warm in winter?'

 

But the other day I had one that I'd never been asked before which was 'how the hell do you manage to stand up in there?'

 

I must admit I had a job to stifle my sniggering.

 

So how about you others? I'd love to hear some of the questions and comments that you've had from them over the years.

[Guest]

"Would you like some help with the lock(s)."

 

Heard a couple of times.

Edited July 1, 2016 by MJG

[Ray T]

Boy peering in the galley window to mother.

 

"Mum they've got a sink in there".

Edited July 1, 2016 by Ray T

[Nightwatch]

"They have a fruit bowl"

[Laurie Booth]

One American thought the end of the tiller was the accelerator as a motorbike.

[magictime]

"Where's the other half of your boat?" was a regular. (Our boat was 24ft.)

[junior]

"How long is your boat"

"Does that fit in the locks?"

"Do you actually make a living doing that?"

"Is it steam powered?" (When the stove is lit)

"Do you actually live in it?"

 

To name but a few.

[Phil.]

"Oh look there is smoke coming out of the chimney thing."

[BilgePump]

One mum telling her toddler that now boats are floating cottages but years ago it was bucket and chuck it living. Quite graphic, kid was enthralled.

[1st ade]

"Mum, mum, there's people living on this one"

 

Visitors moorings at Ellesmere Port boat museum

[koukouvagia]

"Has it got power steering?"

"Are those brake pipes?"

 

(People are often puzzled by the hydraulic drive in the butty's ellum.)

[Lysander]

"Ooooooh! They've got radiators!"

[zenataomm]

"Has the other one broken down ?" (Butty on cross straps)

 

"Bolinger?" (Whilst peering in the engine 'ole at my HA2) My response "Very kind, don't mind if I do"

 

"Gardener?" (Whilst peering in the engine 'ole at my HA2) My response "No Human Resources Manager"

 

"Haven't you got anything better to do?" (Aggressive fisherman standing in the rain on a lock landing)

My response ..... "Well lets see, I'm standing pretty well in the dry, I've got a hot stove by my left leg and a bottle of Glenfiddich staying chilled in my water can. We can both smell the results of my wife cooking my dinner up the other end, which I shall be enjoying in half an hour with a nice bottle of Rioja".

 

You however seem to have walked miles down a muddy towpath carrying bags of heavy gubbins to stand in the rain without even so much as a toilet to hand, and you've still got to walk back. What's fascinating is you want to know if I've got nowt better to do?"

 

" Are you Steam Powered?" (Gazing at my stove chimney)

My response ..... " Good lord no, just proteins and carbs like anyone else"

 

" Do you get far?" My response ..... " Depends on her morals"

[Opener]

One guy a couple of years ago who had been told that when barges were horse pulled, the horse used to walk (?swim) along in the canal. Took some convincing that that was what the towpath was for!!

[Rob-M]

Look of puzzlement when reversing through Fradley Junction lock. When I explained it was because I couldn't turn below the lock and I would be coming back up the next day they still couldn't understand.

 

Usually get the "Has it broken down when towing or bow hauling the butty".

[NB Lola]

Only once I overheard, "it really is so sad that they [boaters] are forced to live like that just because we don't have enough council houses."

[BruceinSanity]

I was sitting working at the desk in the study one day when a kid peered in through the porthole. I leaned forward and gurned at him.

 

[scream] "There was a man! Daddy, there was a man!"

[Guest]

One guy sticks in my mind.

 

He was about the same age as me (54-55 at the time) and as we went through a lock he was chatting away, commenting on what a nice boat it was, then he clocked our table that Jan had set for our evening meal and he mistook us for a 'restaurant' boat and asked if we took bookings.

 

I explained we were not and we exchanged further small talk, we exited the lock and he jumped on his bike and cycled down the tow path.

 

Further along there he was again and the whole conversation repeated even to the point of him asking if he could book a table. This was only 10 or 15 minutes later and he had clearly forgotten the entire exchange that had not long taken place.

 

Then the penny dropped, he was clearly in the early stages of dementia and his short term memory was obviously shot to pieces. Quite sad.

[Mike Todd]

More generally, I quite like it when asked questions, even some of the ones that may seem silly to experienced canal users (we all had to begin somewhere). I especially like it when people want to know more about operating a lock - invariably the reaction when offered the chance to help is conformation of all that is best about human nature.

 

When it is young children, we take the vie that getting them involved now, understanding what it is about, is perhaps just a tiny bit towards making them less likely to vandalise it later.

 

It is rather remarkable to see the almost child-like enthusiasm of adults when given the same opportunity.

 

In both cases, explaining what is happening engages people in a delightful and rewarding way. Many a time I have seen an unpromising group hanging around a lock but whose manner changes fundamentally when asked to help. There is nothing like being in need of assistance to bring out the best in people.

[FadeToScarlet]

"Look mum! They've got Cornflakes too!"

[Stewart Kirby]

We used to have a tug with a very low freeboard compared to most narrowboats. The most annoying comment was "are you sinking?". Despite the fact that I knew we were not I would still have to look at the waterline a few times to make sure we were not sinking.

[IanM]

On entering a lock going uphill a woman on the lockside very proudly informed her children that "they shut the gate behind them and wait for the tide to come in"

[Jrtm]

My 3 normals even with towy but most common with dane are

 

1. Is it a lister engine? No its a bolinder or now national! Oh i thought so! (Really you really thought so?)

 

2. How long is it? 70 foot. Oh can you fit that threw the locks? (9/10 this will be asked as going threw the locks!)

 

3. Do you actually sleep on there? Yes it has a bed and full living space. So you dont stop in a hotel then? No.

[Jrtm]

 

"Bolinger?" (Whilst peering in the engine 'ole at my HA2) My response "Very kind, don't mind if I do"

Next time just get a glass out and say please full glass.

[Dave123]

Some kids asked us in horror, upon seeing the sink, 'Where do you get your water, do you drink canal water!?'

 

And this was outside Harecastle Tunnel where the water is bright orange!