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Pointless features on boats


Dave_P
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Most pointless feature?

Four year old dried up herb gardens & hanging baskets that were planted with good intentions but have been left to rot and the owner can't be arsed to remove them.

Most useless feature?

Fat blokes that sit at the tiller downing cider while the missus struggles with all the knackered lock gear .....

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3 minutes ago, Nunovyrbizz said:

Most pointless feature?

Four year old dried up herb gardens & hanging baskets that were planted with good intentions but have been left to rot and the owner can't be arsed to remove them.

Most useless feature?

Fat blokes that sit at the tiller downing cider while the missus struggles with all the knackered lock gear .....

Sorry! Miss your point inthe last sentence. At our age there's only one reason to have a wife onboard. Oh! And cooking and washing up.

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My vote goes to what I laughingly refer to as the "side decks" though most call them the gunnels.  Combined with the ubiquitous integral handrail you have a feature that has little practical use given that most of them are barely 4" wide and folded over so you have rounded edges.   Our first boat a little Springer had lovely fat side decks you could actually walk along safely and tubular handrails you could lash a safety rope to if you were nervous.   I've looked at a couple of boats for sale recently simply because of the generous side decks.

 

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5 minutes ago, Starcoaster said:

What are fender socks? Is this a real thing?

Yes. Sadly it is. Probably work ok between two pristine plastic boats, but you wouldn't want to use them anywhere else. 

 

Sorry forgot to say they are socks that go on fenders, well more like legwarmers really 

Edited by rusty69
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2 hours ago, rusty69 said:

A boat name too on a inland boat. Its not as if you need to make a mayday  call on a canal. 

What if you order a pizza?

Or if, like me, you're a bit of a conformist and follow CRT's rules?

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4 minutes ago, Starcoaster said:

What are fender socks? Is this a real thing?

As Rusty says, they are, but only in the other world Naughty Cal operates it.  

You can forget all about them... unless someone buys you a pair of fender boots for Christmas! :)

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On 05/07/2017 at 18:12, Nunovyrbizz said:

 

Fat blokes that sit at the tiller downing cider while the missus struggles with all the knackered lock gear .....

 

Thus speaks a man who has never asked that woman WHY she is working the lock instead of steering the boat...

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On 05/07/2017 at 22:49, Sea Dog said:

As Rusty says, they are, but only in the other world Naughty Cal operates it.  

You can forget all about them... unless someone buys you a pair of fender boots for Christmas! :)

 

I'm planning to make my next £million selling fender sock protectors...

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10 minutes ago, rusty69 said:

Yes. Sadly it is. Probably work ok between two pristine plastic boats, but you wouldn't want to use them anywhere else. 

 

Sorry forgot to say they are socks that go on fenders, well more like legwarmers really 

NO WAY. OK I believe you but NO WAY.

Can you not get fender sock socks to protect your fender socks, and then cases to protect the socks of your fender socks' socks too? Where does it end?

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Just now, Starcoaster said:

NO WAY. OK I believe you but NO WAY.

Can you not get fender sock socks to protect your fender socks, and then cases to protect the socks of your fender socks' socks too? Where does it end?

You can, but it is preferable to get a fender sock puppet. 

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16 hours ago, Alan de Enfield said:

Have rivets been mentioned yet ?

You clearly don't understand how rivets work!

Without rivets both our boats would be just a heap of shaped metal plates and knees, with holes in them, and would be quite unusable.

Perhaps you are actually talking about washers tacked on to the hull of a modern boat in a hopeless attempt by their builders to replicate a boat that has real class?

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