Team “Barnier's Stern Gland” Virtual BCN Challenge 2020 Cruise Log

[Dr Bob 2660]

…....message starts 1101Z

!!Stop Press!!

It is with great pleasure to introduce the 'Dream Team' for this years BCN Challenge

Team “Marnier's Stern Gland”

At great personal expense we have pulled together the ultimate in teams to challenge the BCN. This has to be the most expensive team ever assembled. No expense has been spared on people or kit.

Let me introduce the team:

• Captain. @mrsmelly (and Annie). With 75 years experience of all things .anals, Smelly is the perfect captain, and he brings with him two boxes of pork chops from the Pig place.

• First Officer . @Alan de Enfield. (and Cobweb). A whiz with data and numbers. Knows all the rules and most of the fish jokes. If too many die on board during the week, he should be able to keep a track of it.

• First Communication Officer . @roland elsdon (and Dr Sue). Roland's on board for his superior communication skills that have plagued graced the forum over the years and Dr Sue is there to sort us out when we get sick.

• Engineering Officer. @peterboat (and Jayne). Who else to look after the demanding technology at our fingertips today?

• Voyage Recorder. @Dr Bob (and Mrs Bob) and THE DUCK!!!!! Having the Duck on board is a great honour. THE DUCK was part of the crew of 'Good Times' that won last years BCN Challenge at its first outing. That experience will be vital as we move forward during the week. "Having a winner on board is huge advantage" said someone. Me? I'm just here to write down this load of rubbish each day.

• Chief of Staff. @Jennifer McM (and John). On her appointment she commented “This is going to be like herding cats, but I have all the excuses”. She brings along with her copious quantities of vitamin D supplements.

 

and introducing our special guest star @Laurie.Booth. A proven winner during the BCN for many many years. Laurie is providing the boat and a wealth of experience of the BCN.

Finally, the great news is we have managed to recruit an 'off the boat' technical consultant – @TheBiscuits. The Biscuits was part of the team on 'Good Times' last year that smashed the competition to win the 2019 challenge. He was therefore one of the team supporting THE DUCK to that famous victory. With two of the successful team for last year, who can possibly stop us for this year?

 

Attention @Richard T @Ian Mac @Captain Pegg. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

 

Boat details will be announced tomorrow. The boat naming ceremony is timed for 11.00am local time, Birmingham.

 

…...message timed at 1103Z

…...message ends

Edited May 2 by Dr Bob

[Rob-M 585]

Good job their aren't bonus points for locks as Laurie is good at planning routes to avoid them.

[Dr Bob 2660]

33 minutes ago, Rob-M said:

Good job their aren't bonus points for locks as Laurie is good at planning routes to avoid them.

What are locks?

[mark99 1918]

Bet Barniers stern gland is leaking at the mo. 

[Scholar Gypsy 282]

I think you meant 1000Z, not 1100 BST. If you can't get the time right, what chance do you have?

[Dr Bob 2660]

17 minutes ago, Scholar Gypsy said:

I think you meant 1000Z, not 1100 BST. If you can't get the time right, what chance do you have?

It's a subtle plan to give us more time.

[Dr Bob 2660]

OMG...

Rumours of Barnier's Stern Gland's boat ....it may have been seen.

 

 

[TheBiscuits 2922]

7 minutes ago, Dr Bob said:

OMG...

Rumours of Barnier's Stern Gland's boat ....it may have been seen.

 

 

 

Oh I thought it was going to be this one:

 

 

 

The commander of a nuclear-powered submarine who allowed his crew to hold a barbecue party has been sacked.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-52464885

 

[mrsmelly 7247]

We borrowed a Russian sub

[Cheese 45]

7 hours ago, Dr Bob said:

…. It is with great pleasure to introduce the 'Dream Team' for this years BCN Challenge

Team “Marnier's Stern Gland”

...

Is that Grand?  Could be very tasty!

[peterboat 2275]

3 hours ago, Dr Bob said:

It's a subtle plan to give us more time.

What time I have to be at the allotment then cant we delay the start until 5 ish or maybe 6 so that I can have Taff and Hugo ready

[Dr Bob 2660]

1 hour ago, peterboat said:

What time I have to be at the allotment then cant we delay the start until 5 ish or maybe 6 so that I can have Taff and Hugo ready

You just cant get the crew these days.

[mrsmelly 7247]

Mines all primed and ready

 

 

[peterboat 2275]

Taff is having a after walk snooze as well 

[Keeping Up 615]

Yes, so is mine

[peterboat 2275]

I am not showing those pictures to Taff! He will be wanting the sofa as well 

[Jennifer McM 1202]

6 hours ago, TheBiscuits said:

 

Oh I thought it was going to be this one:

 

 

 

The commander of a nuclear-powered submarine who allowed his crew to hold a barbecue party has been sacked.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-52464885

 

This is a good idea Dr Bob.... we need a bigga boat!

[peterboat 2275]

1 minute ago, Jennifer McM said:

This is a good idea Dr Bob.... we need a bigga boat!

Yeah a much bigger boat!👹

[Dr Bob 2660]

 

Ok, breaking news now on team “Barnier's Stern Glands” bote. It seems like they have gone for a high tech Hampton convertible with some very special features.

The wooden hulled craft looks to be 80ft long (Captain Smelly required this prior to accepting his commission) and 10 ft wide. The bote however has a revolutionary beam reducing weight and pulley system to access the narrow locks of the BCN. The size therefore is ideal for the number of crew on board with sufficient space for the 13 crew and 3 dogs.

Power for the craft is a revolutionary design. A Lynch electric motor, running at 3 to 1 gearing 21 inch by 16 propeller 72 volt 36 KWH LifePo4 battery bank, 6 x 300 watt solar panels.

The craft is bristling with high tech add ons. It's Active Sonar is viable up to 3 miles and it is clad in a special material to avoid radar. It is fitted with the latest AAW system set up by Roland. AAW (or Anti Auntie Waitrose) is the first patented system to avoid any crew members on board having to buy anything for their time on board from Auntie Waitrose. Roland is one of the few people alive to have never bought anything from her so has used his experience to develop this remarkable system.

[cheshire~rose 980]

@Postcode just asked me if we had ever met Roland, I said no, he said that'll be why then! 

 

Oh and solar panels are not much use if you get stuck in The Dudley Tunnel 

[peterboat 2275]

5 minutes ago, cheshire~rose said:

@Postcode just asked me if we had ever met Roland, I said no, he said that'll be why then! 

 

Oh and solar panels are not much use if you get stuck in The Dudley Tunnel 

That's why we have batteries lots of them 

[Dr Bob 2660]

5 minutes ago, peterboat said:

That's why we have batteries lots of them 

Who's charging them up?

38 minutes ago, Dr Bob said:

 

 It is fitted with the latest AAW system set up by Roland. AAW (or Anti Auntie Waitrose) is the first patented system to avoid any crew members on board having to buy anything for their time on board from Auntie Waitrose. Roland is one of the few people alive to have never bought anything from her so has used his experience to develop this remarkable system.

I forgot to mention that the AAW system is dependent on thousands of tiny sensors fitted all over the bote. I understand Roland is currently fitting them and has promised to have 100,000 fitted by 9am Monday.

[peterboat 2275]

2 minutes ago, Dr Bob said:

Who's charging them up?

Those training bikes with alternators on them o thought?

[Dr Bob 2660]

Just now, peterboat said:

Those training bikes with alternators on them o thought?

Ssshh! Dont tell 'em that!

That's confidential.

[peterboat 2275]

Bugger!