Liveaboards and the curse of visitors

[CDS]

I recently had my father invite himself down for a week,78 years of age and don't get me wrong it was great

to see him.I have the house also so I don't really do visitors on the boat as a rule and at 70 foot I am not pushed

for space but it was the inconvenience and hassle of it all.Firstly I had to interrupt my cruising to come back to

Milton Keynes for a week so I could be central for him,mindful of course of the present enforcement climate,then

there was the food,I went to Waitrose as you do,but old people don't eat a lot so most of it was binned,then the

commandeering of the TV remote control,News24 and really it was literally news 24/7,then the organising of days

out,entertainment,introducing him to the latest girlfriend,I ended up needing a holiday myself at the end of it.

Where am I going wrong?why am I so stressed.Love you Dad........

[zenataomm]

Parents ...... who'd have 'em?

[Richard T]

Remember as my kids tell me constantly 'Madness is inherited you get it from your children'!!!

[GreyLady]

My dad can be hard work at times but just love him to bits, I say make every minute count that we have with our loved ones sadly they are not with us forever.

 

I would never describe a family member as a curse or a visitor.

 

Sorry......:-/

Edited November 25, 2015 by GreyLady

[peterboat]

i loved it when my mum visited and so did she a minor inconvenience for what she has done for me

[Jo_]

Love CDS's post. But you forgot to add the agony of an 'alien' using your bathroom and loo

[MHS]

I recently had my father invite himself down for a week,78 years of age and don't get me wrong it was great

to see him.I have the house also so I don't really do visitors on the boat as a rule and at 70 foot I am not pushed

for space but it was the inconvenience and hassle of it all.Firstly I had to interrupt my cruising to come back to

Milton Keynes for a week so I could be central for him,mindful of course of the present enforcement climate,then

there was the food,I went to Waitrose as you do,but old people don't eat a lot so most of it was binned,then the

commandeering of the TV remote control,News24 and really it was literally news 24/7,then the organising of days

out,entertainment,introducing him to the latest girlfriend,I ended up needing a holiday myself at the end of it.

Where am I going wrong?why am I so stressed.Love you Dad........

Maybe take a chill pill or write to Graham Norton, who has an agony aunt column in the Daily Telegraph on a Saturday.

 

We've coped very well with my mum & dad (74&84) onboard. They did have their own seagoing boat for 15 years after retirement though, so do understand how to share a confined space.

[Phil Ambrose]

Remember as my kids tell me constantly 'Madness is inherited you get it from your children'!!!

Just like grey hair.

Phil

[Tisinca]

It won't be long CDS before you are that age ...Time goes so fast especially the older you get !!!

[nicknorman]

Family members are like fish, they start to smell after 3 days. Your mistake was agreeing to a week!

[metanoia]

^{Love CDS's post. But you forgot to add the agony of an 'alien' using your bathroom and loo}

 

Agree Jo - but it isn't the "alien" but the paper they just have to use!

[BilgePump]

It's awful when my dad comes on the boat. He dumps his stuff wherever, thinks he knows how it works and owns it. Oh, he does, better listen not argue.

 

Edited to add

Although that's tongue in cheek and my dad is really my best boating pal and a great teacher of practical stuff, friends and family can be hard work as guests on land let alone within the confines of a boat. Some people can be great company and love it as glorified camping, some will moan about that fact.

Edited November 25, 2015 by BilgePump

[MtB]

Ah but when he's dead and gorn you'll tell this tale over and over and over, laughing about it and remembering him with the deepest affection.

 

I can tell. I'm perceptive like that...

(People who don't care just don't say anything. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference...)

[Starling]

Ah but when he's dead and gorn you'll tell this tale over and over and over, laughing about it and remembering him with the deepest affection.

 

I can tell. I'm perceptive like that...

(People who don't care just don't say anything. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference...)

LOL. My dad was one of my first visitors to my boat and he loved it, I know, because he told his friends. He died later, having visited only twice.

[dor]

You finally get your kids off your hands and then you find you are lumbered with your parents...

 

I'm pleased to say I have a much better relationship with my offspring then I ever had with my father. Maybe I have learnt something over the years.

[metanoia]

LOL. My dad was one of my first visitors to my boat and he loved it, I know, because he told his friends. He died later, having visited only twice.

My Dad, too - but because Mum hated it, he also only made it twice. Great memories - especially how he could forget how locks worked from one to the next when we were in a flight!!!

[Thorfast]

We spend two days a week looking after our 18 month old grandson, and love it.

We are about to spend the next year having my father, aged 92, living with us.

I will be better able to contribute to this thread in 12 months time.......!!!!

[Ange]

We're thrilled to pieces when our son comes to stay with us and thrilled to pieces when he leaves. It's incredible how much food a 27 year old can put away, how much space his stuff takes up and HOW MUCH POWER his myriad of gadgets use!

 

I'll still be a puddle of happiness when he messages me that he's visiting again

Edited November 25, 2015 by Ange

[CDS]

It won't be long CDS before you are that age ...Time goes so fast especially the older you get !!!

I know it does, I am already looking in the mirror and seeing my father looking back.

I found out yesterday from a fellow boater that he had tea with her,he never mentioned

it.Two or three walkers I see on the towpath are asking "did your father get home safely"

What you met my father? Im thinking.

To be honest we have been estranged for thirty years and its only since mother passed

away we have got closer.My sister told me he has been watching Pru and Tim on TV as

he didn't know what to expect,that nearly brought a tear to my eye.

Edited November 26, 2015 by CDS

[John V]

Ah but when he's dead and gorn you'll tell this tale over and over and over, laughing about it and remembering him with the deepest affection.

 

I can tell. I'm perceptive like that...

(People who don't care just don't say anything. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference...)

 

True, MtB.....oh so very true

[Athy]

Family members are like fish, they start to smell after 3 days.

Brilliant!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You bitch.

Seem to have run out of greenoes (how so, so early in the day?), sorry.

Edited November 26, 2015 by Athy

[Athy]

When we got our first boat Octavia, Mum was already poorly and could not leave the house but, when we took Octavia to Snarestone which is only a couple of miles from the family home, Dad came to have a look at it. He couldn't go for a trip because he had to get back home before the cleaning lady left so that Mum would not be alone (she would probably have been OK but Dad was like that). So after a brief inspection visit he left to go back home.

 

Later I spoke to Mum on the phone. I mentioned that Dad had said that Octavia was a very nice boat.

 

"Hmph" retorted Mum, "That's not what he said when he heard that you'd bought one".

 

Mum never did see our boats, and Dad never went for a cruise on one. He loved the countryside and nature, especially birds, and it remains a regret that we never cast off and chugged away together, even for a couple of hours. Just once would have been nice...

 

How odd. The computer screen has misted over.

[GreyLady]

Gives you a warm friendly shoulder nudge Athy.

[patty-ann]

My boat brought with my inheritance when dad died, he would have loved her..I think though he was a tractor man. I did take an old friend of 82 out on her ..traumatic as he wanted to do locks and could hardly walk..he stayed couple of nights..when I was reciting tale of woe another friend said that he wished when he got to 82 someone would take him out..

Ive taken son number 3 out but his partner brings so much gear, uses so much Lecky and blew inverter fuse..they stay overnight..long enough. Also took her parents, 2 dogs and a baby squirrel which subsequently died...didnt think my driving that scary!

[b0atman]

I in the last two years have lost both of mine. They once did the Leicester Ring with me they started me boating in the 60s on the Broads .

Dad was a seagoing man he did Dunkirk when on trawlers also did D day and convoys he also steered a big boat through an open tower bridge when in the Merchant Navy. Still think must tell them about new experiences or places that they will have been.

 

All those still lucky to have a parent give them a call while you can.