No Going Back?

[haggis]

As regards health and age being reasons for having to give up boating. I am fairly ancient and until last year I could still do locks and enjoy all aspects of canal boating. I thought that would go on forever. Then I had eye problems and needed 5 operations, then it was a replacement hip but after a bit of recovery I was able to do all the boating activities until I was hit by heart problems which mean I can no longer do locks as I get out of puff easily. We  changed lock duties and I now take the boat through locks, which I find  much  less enjoyable. 

This just a salutary tale of how quickly things can go downhill 🙂 

Edited January 7 by haggis

[LadyG]

Check out Anchor Hanover Housing. They have a large number of different properties,  and specialise in the over 55 group.

I don't think there are any cheap housing opportunities any more, and it's probably not a good plan to take on a project unless one has specialist skills, money, and motivation.

 

Edited January 8 by LadyG

[Ange]

When we bought the boat we'd decided on a 7 year plan. We let out our house which paid our living costs. We rai0 from personal loans which bought our gorgeous Doug Moore boat.

The first winter we were iced in, our water tank failed, we spent hours walking water barrels up and down the towpath.

Dave cut the water tank out - he did it with an angle grinder - he had a breather tube on the front deck that I had to be careful not to tread on.

I remember saying if we can get through this we can live this life forever.

We got over all that, I suppose what I'm coming to is. We decided we were going to live on a boat till we were too old 

I let the side down. I got too poorly to live on 

I'd love to get that back 

I'm still cross. We decided we'd be on the boat till Dave couldn't lift gas bottles. Dave tells me it's ok. It isn't.

I let him down 

Edited January 8 by Ange

[magnetman]

 

At least you are still together. 

 

I'm sure a lot of Boats break relationships. In my case I actually significantly prefer living alone and on a Boat. So when the woman and kids went ashore it was in fact the right outcome and we are still on perfectly good terms no problems. 

 

However this does not apply to everyone and a lot of people find having a partner is very important. 

 

I always think it is rather sad if a Boat, which is after all just a collection of pieces of metal and wood fixed together which also has some plastics could be capable of breaking up relationships but apparently it happens a lot. 

 

Another factor is the space situation. There is not all that much room on a narrow Boat and as someone who lived on them for over a decade I do take the view that the limited beam situation is quite arduous to handle. I like small spaces always have done but the narrow thing is awkward to deal with psychologically. 

 

I know it gives more access to all the canals and I did do lots of them when I had one but I suspect a lot of people probably end up in narrow Boats which don't go anywhere much. This is when the width thing could become quite tricky. 

 

 

Some people can handle it perfectly well and like it but I think it can be quite detrimental in a number of different ways. 

 

Although I always have and always will live on a Boat I sometimes think the clever people arrr those who have a house and a Boat. It seems quite a wise move even if it means the Boat is only a little one. 

 

 

Edited January 8 by magnetman

[DandV]

4 hours ago, Ange said:

When we bought the boat we'd decided on a 7 year plan. We let out our house which paid our living costs. We rai0 from personal loans which bought our gorgeous Doug Moore boat.

The first winter we were iced in, our water tank failed, we spent hours walking water barrels up and down the towpath.

Dave cut the water tank out - he did it with an angle grinder - he had a breather tube on the front deck that I had to be careful not to tread on.

I remember saying if we can get through this we can live this life forever.

We got over all that, I suppose what I'm coming to is. We decided we were going to live on a boat till we were too old 

I let the side down. I got too poorly to live on 

I'd love to get that back 

I'm still cross. We decided we'd be on the boat till Dave couldn't lift gas bottles. Dave tells me it's ok. It isn't.

I let him down 

In a partnership such as you have with Dave, the only thing that matters is what you can collectively acheive. If collectively you could no longer do the things required, then you had to move on. Nobody let the other down, nature just took it's unpredictable  course. No need to beat yourself up. It could have just as easily been Dave that suffered a sudden reduction in capacity.

Sure, it is natural that you feel short changed in this aspect of your life though. 

But what happened was actually inevitable, there was always going to be a time that the two of you could no longer collectively manage boating. It just happened much much earlier then you liked. I would be pissed off too. 

But this is why some provision for this post boating time is always prudent.

 

But aren't you incredibly glad you did all you did when you did?

We certainly are. Not that our canal boating was curtailed by a health event, but had we not sold by the beginning of 2020 Covid travel restrictions would have made things incredibly difficult for us. 

 

If you had deferred the the start of your boating a year, or two years, you would have totally missed out on those one, or two  incredible years you had boating together. 

Yours is actually a case study on why if there is something you want to do, do not delay. Now is a good time to start setting up to do it. We never know the precise timing of when we will no longer to be able to do it. 

[Ken X]

6 hours ago, Ange said:

I'm still cross. We decided we'd be on the boat till Dave couldn't lift gas bottles. Dave tells me it's ok. It isn't.

I let him down 

With the caviat that I know nothing about your situation, nor is it my business, I am with Dave on this one. 

 

My wife was fine one minute and then, over a weekend, she went down with a brain infection.  By the Tuesday after she was hospitalised.  This was followed by a rapid issuing of a Section 28 order due to her increasing irrationality and paranoia and her incarceration in a secure hospital for her own safety.  In her mind she was having hallucinations, hearing voices and was generally terrified of everything.  At one point, after weeks of this, she asked me to euthanise her as she felt she could not go on.  Eventually the trick cyclists fixed her and eight years on she is fine, albeit a very changed person.  She is on lots of meds and has the occasional relapse but instantly picks up on it and refers herself to the quacks.  Only once have we had to return to the secure hospital.

 

We binned the boat buying fund which meant I could stop work to care for her.  The point is none of this matters.  We still love each other and will continue to do so whatever life bungs at us.  We have a very up front relationship and talk regularly about the current problem whatever that is.  It may be my turn to wobble next.  Who cares.  We continue to putter along as a couple making the best of life.  Our revenge is to be happy and content with whatever hand we are dealt.  We hire a boat when we can and do short trips.  When she gets tired we stop.  We still enjoy our boating when possible.

 

Team X may not be the most dynamic any more but we are determined to be the most happy.

[Bobbybass]

9 hours ago, Ange said:

When we bought the boat we'd decided on a 7 year plan. We let out our house which paid our living costs. We rai0 from personal loans which bought our gorgeous Doug Moore boat.

The first winter we were iced in, our water tank failed, we spent hours walking water barrels up and down the towpath.

Dave cut the water tank out - he did it with an angle grinder - he had a breather tube on the front deck that I had to be careful not to tread on.

I remember saying if we can get through this we can live this life forever.

We got over all that, I suppose what I'm coming to is. We decided we were going to live on a boat till we were too old 

I let the side down. I got too poorly to live on 

I'd love to get that back 

I'm still cross. We decided we'd be on the boat till Dave couldn't lift gas bottles. Dave tells me it's ok. It isn't.

I let him down 

 

No....you didn't let him down.

 

I remember staying on board and how supportive you were of each other. 

 

With you working hard each day and Dave looking after the boat....you were a great team.

 

It's not you. Time is what let's us down and we all optimistically hope for more. I know....it happened to me....but we did it. There are many that only dream.

 

Bob

[robtheplod]

Never delay doing anything...... we'd pushed back our liberation to the canals only for my wife to get her Parkinsons diagnosis after going to the Doc due to suspected carpal tunnel. She's now thankfully handed in her notice at work and we begin the next stage of our lives this spring!!!!

[Tony1]

 

This is all very sobering information. It looks like my over 70 plan of becoming a highly paid canal gigolo will have to be revisited.

The 'nuclear' option would to move to Bangkok and become a ladyboy (at the age of 75).

No pain, no gain, as they say.

 

Edited January 8 by Tony1

[magnetman]

Maybe a rent buoy would be more successful as a business strategy. 

 

 

ETA was meant to be two posts

 

(No 2)

Sometimes (always) it is best to just get on with it. Whatever happens happens there is not much that can be done about this basic fact so there is an argument for having a Good Time. 

 

Of course having a Good Time can result in equal and opposite reactions and obviously its not all honey and roses. 

 

We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

 

 

Edited January 8 by magnetman

[Ange]

Thanks for all the kind words folks, I get a bit maudlin sometimes, self pity isn't helpful so thanks for pulling me out of it.

You're all correct - I need to be grateful for the seven wonderful years we had living full time on the canals and exploring a good amount of the system (though there are many miles we wanted to do but didn't get round to). We took a huge gamble doing it when we did, but if we'd waited till we had more savings and pensions coming in it would have been too late and we'd have missed out completely.

Friends and family thought we were mad giving up our jobs and relying on me getting temporary work in the winter, but it worked out beautifully.

If you've got a dream don't put it off.

Thanks folks 🙂

[john.k]

Not being able to do repairs yourself is also scary ......friend is my age and needed the steering on his boat repaired ......a young guy came down and gave him a quote of $10,000.........a lot more than he could afford .....neither he or I can get into confined spaces ,my knees dont bend any more .

[manxmike]

On 07/01/2024 at 10:17, dave moore said:

As a long term boater ( started as a teen in the 60s) I think that you have been very well advised in the above posts. I’ve never yearned to live aboard, too aware of the cons, I think. A series of medical issues over 3 years prompted the sale of our boat and I’m now aware of some of the issues of advancing age, I certainly couldn’t boat in the way I used to. Tempts fugit.

I'm with you Dave, sold my boat a few years ago for a different reason (wanted to buy something newer), but because the hull was down to 2mm in places I reduced my price and just got rid. Having hired a boat recently I realised I was now old! Locks were hard work where they used to be fun, swing bridges were a pain where they used to be fun, steering in cold wet conditions was never fun, now even less so!

When you say "tempts fugit" do you mean you run away from temptation? Wow, that means you really are old !

[Arthur Marshall]

I lived aboard for a couple of years a couple if times, once after a seperation and once just between houses. I was working, so had a mooring and a room in a friend's house full of stuff. I don't think I'd enjoy winters on the boat now, the long nights are depressing and I don't watch TV. But I loved being on it for those years and still manage (CRT willing) six weeks on it over summer and a month or two elsewhere.

More dependent on RCR callouts now as I can't get into the engine space any more or do much bending! While I can shin up ladders I'll carry on - every year I promise myself just one more...

[Ken X]

1 hour ago, manxmike said:

When you say "tempts fugit" do you mean you run away from temptation? Wow, that means you really are old !

I am so old now I can no longer run away from temptation, or from OC Domestic when she catches me being tempted. 😆

[Arthur Marshall]

6 minutes ago, Ken X said:

I am so old now I can no longer run away from temptation, or from OC Domestic when she catches me being tempted. 😆

To quote Leonard Cohen: "I fought against temptation, but I didn't want to win / A man like me don't like to see temptation giving in."

[Ray T]

Speaking to a neighbour who is into his 90's recently. He said "It is no fun growing old Ray, there's little future in it!"

 

I won't go into the nitty gritty but 6 months ago I decided to voluntarily surrender my driving license due to an "Asymptomatic" head issue discovered by pure chance. The problem is slowly curing itself but I will have to wait and see. It is not only physical issues you may have to deal with but hidden ones that suddenly appear as well.

I can still steer the boat but at the moment I have to either get a bus, taxi or rely on Mrs. T to ferry me around.

 

I'd be well and truly "stuffed" if I didn't have bricks and mortar to fall back on.

 

 To miss quote Buzz Lightyear "To infirmity and beyond."  😁

 

Check if a health condition affects your driving: Overview - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk

 

Edited February 21 by Ray T

[dave moore]

Back in the 70s as an avid folkie, I used to help out at a local music shop, Modern Music in Dudley. The owners, former professional musicians, set up the shop not only to sell stuff but also to offer repair services to touring musicians, based on their own working experiences. Jack, one of the owners, was a superb jazz guitarist and would sometimes leave the rear office to shoo off the time wasters in the shop, playing lots of notes but little music, in his opinion. 
He retired many years ago and I bumped into him shortly afterwards in our local shopping centre. We chatted for a while and then he admonished 

“ Dave, don’t get old”

” Why, Jack?”

” Well” he added….” All the bits that used to work don’t any more. And the ones that are left…hurt! “

I now know only too well the wisdom of his words.

[blackrose]

30 minutes ago, dave moore said:

“ Dave, don’t get old”

” Why, Jack?”

” Well” he added….” All the bits that used to work don’t any more. And the ones that are left…hurt! “

I now know only too well the wisdom of his words.

 

What's the alternative? Getting old is basically the least worst option. Although I suppose there may come a point in some people's lives when other options are better...

Edited February 21 by blackrose

[dave moore]

Indeed. I have one surviving older relative, my uncle who married dad’s youngest sister. We celebrated his 92nd birthday last summer. Back in early January, I had a call from my cousin, his daughter. After several falls, he had been hospitalised…..weeks on, he has lost the use of both arms, back home in a hospital bed with carers 4 times a day. After a long life of public service, from scouting, local politics, school governor and local law, it is heartbreaking to see a physical shell housing a still active mind. Awful.

 

 

[Dav and Pen]

We had our first boat in 1963 a small Dolphin cruiser and used it weekends and holidays for a couple of years and then

i brought a grp hull and fitted it out. We went to various national rallies and did the Thames whilst still working and with 2 small children. Then a big step up to 2 70ft commercials carrying coal in winter and camping in summer with the help of friends and crew whilst running a business. Gradually working our way up the boat owning chain until we had a 50 ft NB built not long before taking an early retirement age 55. We took that boat all over the Northern waterways where we couldn’t go with the 70ft and then had it taken to Ireland where we spent 2 summers on board before deciding the boat wasn’t really suitable for the Irish waterways and went to Holland to look for a small barge. We finished up buying a 22m Dutch barge which was to big for most of Ireland so we kept it on the continent and had 18 years there until Madam was diagnosed with a blood cancer and I became concerned about her mobility so we reluctantly sold up and came back full time to our house. I was then aged 78 and could have carried on but it has turned out to be the right decision. Over all this time we have kept a house as the boats we brought were cheap and either earned there keep or paid for. We have come across quite a few who have sold up and used most of the money to buy an expensive boat and then circumstances have intervened leading to a move ashore to find that house prices have moved faster than they can manage so one couple finished in a small terrace in Northumberland and another in a Yorkshire flat both having originated in the SE.

 

 

[LadyG]

On 09/01/2024 at 00:43, john.k said:

Not being able to do repairs yourself is also scary ......friend is my age and needed the steering on his boat repaired ......a young guy came down and gave him a quote of $10,000.........a lot more than he could afford .....neither he or I can get into confined spaces ,my knees dont bend any more .

Did the rip off merchant fly over from LAX?

I had my steering fixed [major fix], and it was £1400 including haul out, Insurance paid most of it.

I have had the boat for five years, apart from a year in a marina, and upgrading batteries etc. I've pretty much lived on the oap.

But one needs a stash of cash as problems can occur randomly 

Edited February 21 by LadyG

[Annie cariad]

If you worry what's next and save for the rainy day senario you will never do anything get a grip on life and live it to the full . Be a boater as long as you can then be a floater ie marina life ,wide beam lol x

[Machpoint005]

There are other things than boating. Be positive, look forward and not back. As my Auntie used to say, "Yer a long time dead, kid". 

 

Besides, there are no pockets in a shroud. If you've got it, spend it.

 

 

I draw a state pension, but I don't call it old age pension ... because I'm not old! 

 

 

[john.k]

On the other hand,I wouldnt fancy being homeless at 70 ........as so many find themselves .

Edited February 22 by john.k