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"The spread of the virus has also caused widespread concern among the Jihadi terrorist community. According to recent newspaper reports, Isil has ordered its members to stay away from Europe for fear of catching the disease.
“We’re disgusted by the number of Western infidels refusing to observe official guidance on social distancing,” says an Isil spokesman. “These people are making the streets completely unsafe. Their actions could cost thousands of innocent lives.
“As an employer, our number one concern is the welfare of our employees. The last thing we want is for one of our suicide bombers to get killed.”
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