I've had an idea ...

[zenataomm]

I reckon if I used quality colour printing and produce an A4 periodical called ...... "World of Narrow Practical owner Boat" I could charge £4 every month.

 

It could have a pointless or random photo on the front of probably .... a boat .....or well known tourist area.

 

"End of Season Prepare Your Boat" or "Beginning of Season Prepare Your Boat" Would make good front cover headlines along with .....

 

"Water Shortages", "Cruising Guides" "This Ring/That Ring" "The (fill the blank) Boat Show" for subsequent months every year probably.

 

With pages and pages containing 267 adverts it would leave as many as some pages for Letters, Recipes and Identifying Wild Flowers.

 

I could also pad it out with a two page advert by pretending it's a competition. A supplier donates two of their products as prizes i.e. phone-less cord or satellite dishwasher. We ask a question that the reader has to access the supplier's website to answer. Job Jobbed!

 

I could also make sure it's packed with loose leaflets for Insurance Companies and Membership Charities, to ensure buyers have to get on their hands and knees to recover them when they're standing in the queue to pay. Yet the paper used would be useless to light your stove with, so now they'd need to recycle it.

 

Anybody any other thoughts?

[onionbargee]

That's why towpath talk is the king of all, its free and burns well.

[dmr]

You have forgotten to include a review of a brand new boat, but you only need to write this article once because you can review the same boat every month.

57 foot reverse layout semi-trad with beta engine, light oak interior and those funny black work surfaces.

 

.............Dave

[Machpoint005]

You could only charge as little as £4 a month if you had somebody selling lots of advertising space and inserts.

[onionbargee]

You would need a technical adviser to tell the readers how much they need every new product on the market. Inflatable mooring pins, and GPS guided sandwich toasters.

[Ray T]

Get well know actors, or an ex share hire company owner to launch the inaugural copy in a blaze of publicity.

Edited January 22, 2015 by Ray T

[RLWP]

If you do do Cruising guides, only do about ten canals, and when you have published the last article reissue the first one. That will save all that messy traipsing around the canals in boats

 

Richard

[madcat]

Why I don't buy magazines, a all the above

[Neil2]

You would need to make sure the deadline for news articles ensures that by the time the magazine hits the shelves the news is well out of date.

[Machpoint005]

Why I don't buy magazines, a all the above

 

Quite. I didn't know it was compulsory.

[Emerald Fox]

"World of Narrow Practical owner Boat"

 

"a pointless or random photo on the front of probably ..."

 

The title sounds a bit random to me for starters!

[Taslim]

You would need a technical adviser to tell the readers how much they need every new product on the market. Inflatable mooring pins, and GPS guided sandwich toasters.

Whooh! Have you got a link to the sanwich toasters?

[zenataomm]

You'll find it with the links for the Phoneless Cords and the Satellite Dish-washers.

[5thHorseman]

Also containing helpfull and practical articles like:-

 

"Britain's 10 top canal rubbish disposal sites"

"How to look cool in a red neckerchief"

"Top converation tips whilst waiting to use the sanitary station"

"How to walk up a towpath"

"Parrots and Eyepatches - a guide to the latest fashion"

"100 ways to open a lock"

"Wildlife on the Wardle Canal"

"Narrowboat Cruising in Turkmenistan"

"How to save money - a guide to selling your boat"

"The definitive history of the uxter plate"

"How to keep your horn button clean"

"25 beautiful weedhatches"

[onionbargee]

You'l need to start some urban myths like everyone needs their fuel polishing, or welds are porous, or you have to use eco friendly washing up liquid.

[pquinn]

Throw in a few chicks in bikinis and you can sign me up for a years subscription!

[Murflynn]

you'll need a fashion page, advising that green is the new black when used for mooring lines, and how it is essential to change your paint scheme at least once every 4 years to keep up with the latest trends and not look like a hire boat.

[Emerald Fox]

"Top converation tips whilst waiting to use the sanitary station"

 

'Do you come here often?' ?

[cuthound]

"Top converation tips whilst waiting to use the sanitary station"

 

'Do you come here often?' ?

Or, if you are in London, 'have you been waiting long?'

[Neil2]

I'm really crap at boat DIY.

 

Can I write a column about how crap I am at boat DIY?

[roland elsdon]

What angle should my mop be placed on my buckby can at

Drying firewood by the stove " a guide"

Which detergent is best for cleaning up diesel spills in the canal

30 ways of silencing your neighbours generator

How best to pile scrap on your rural mooring ( special edition for flecknoe)

Living dangerously . The pros and cons of putting your chimney on the wrong side

Washers or rivets do I really need them

Tow starting your engine

Butty' environmental bliss or tragic waste of effort.

Growing your narrowboat from a single acorn ( readers digest omnibus edition)

 

Sorry it's 40 degrees here and I'm bored

[Neil2]

What angle should my mop be placed on my buckby can at

Drying firewood by the stove " a guide"

Which detergent is best for cleaning up diesel spills in the canal

30 ways of silencing your neighbours generator

How best to pile scrap on your rural mooring ( special edition for flecknoe)

Living dangerously . The pros and cons of putting your chimney on the wrong side

Washers or rivets do I really need them

Tow starting your engine

Butty' environmental bliss or tragic waste of effort.

Growing your narrowboat from a single acorn ( readers digest omnibus edition)

 

Sorry it's 40 degrees here and I'm bored

Shows you have to be careful with irony. I would actually buy that magazine.

[onionbargee]

You forget the part work magazine, build a 1 :1 scale narrowboat in just 12000 issues. Issue one comes with a bag of self adhesive rivets.

[luctor et emergo]

That's why towpath talk is the king of all, its free and burns well.

makes beter bog roll too..

[madcat]

101 inappropriate places to paint roses on.

How to grain your dog.

 

 

Towpath talk is my rag of choice for a quick read and then wrapping up veg peels to go in the compost bin. It's good for protecting the dining table from paint splashes too.

Edited January 23, 2015 by madcat