Manners Please!!

[homer2911]

Worst <gossip> I'd heard was from the lady at the lock cottage at the end of the Shroppie in Middlewich. She saw a private boater ram a hire boat. The helmswoman onboard the private boat thought that the hire boat was about to 'steal her lock' so she rammed it deliberately. It wasn't planning to 'steal the lock, it was simply being turned around to take back to the hire base by a hire base worker.

 

That'll be the lovely Maureen, who grew up on working boats and who (when she's fit enough) will always be around to help newcomers up through Wardle Lock, which can be a bit hairy if you whack the paddles up in a hurry.

 

She had a fall recently, so isn't so active, but please give her a wave and a hello if you're passing through

[Chertsey]

So what if you were gypsies or hippies - you've still got as much right to be on the water and to be treated with respect as everyone else has.

 

As for people who tie up on the Nene lock landings, I always assume that they won't mind us tying up to them.....

[sociable_hermit]

So what if you were gypsies or hippies - you've still got as much right to be on the water and to be treated with respect as everyone else has.

 

As for people who tie up on the Nene lock landings, I always assume that they won't mind us tying up to them.....

Nothing wrong with that. Same on the Avon where moorings are few and far between.

[churchward]

So what if you were gypsies or hippies - you've still got as much right to be on the water and to be treated with respect as everyone else has.

 

As for people who tie up on the Nene lock landings, I always assume that they won't mind us tying up to them.....

Right on both counts I think.

[mikevye]

I think the bad manners, bad attitude and bad behaviour is just a sign of what a crap world we live in today.

 

Phil

 

Rather this one than the next ay Phil?

[alan_fincher]

Have only seen one person lose it in almost three months of boating.

 

But was it you !?!

[Albatross]

Ahhhh you mean steel boat owner who has the bottle to give, age boat name boat location etc and not hide anonimously like a big girls blouse

Eh!!

[kiki]

Worst <gossip> I'd heard was from the lady at the lock cottage at the end of the Shroppie in Middlewich. She saw a private boater ram a hire boat. The helmswoman onboard the private boat thought that the hire boat was about to 'steal her lock' so she rammed it deliberately. It wasn't planning to 'steal the lock, it was simply being turned around to take back to the hire base by a hire base worker.

 

That'll be the lovely Maureen, who grew up on working boats and who (when she's fit enough) will always be around to help newcomers up through Wardle Lock, which can be a bit hairy if you whack the paddles up in a hurry.

 

She had a fall recently, so isn't so active, but please give her a wave and a hello if you're passing through

 

Witnessed the fair Maureen in action one quite thursday afternoon, a hire boat trying to turn around, she stood for a while watching then said words to the effect of "if they dont turn the *explative* £$%&& soon, I'm going to have to do it for them, she was then about 103 or something.

[Catrin]

I expect to be shot down over this, but... here goes anyway. (Sorry about the long post.)

 

Yes, some people give insufficient thought to others. Some people don't follow general guidelines and etiquette - perhaps because they are arrogant enough to think that they know everything and that their way of doing things is 'right'. I do wonder, however, if some of those people just haven't worked out WHY those guidelines and etiquette have arisen.

 

In the school where I teach the rules are there to ensure that pupils and staff are safe, or so that we can do our jobs efficiently, but often pupils think that they are there to make their lives difficult. Instead of shouting at them it is far more effective to explain to them why the rule was put there in the first place, and what the possible (which is not the same as 'likely' ) consequences of breaking it are. Yes, I know that we are talking about adults here, and not teenagers, but maybe some people just haven't worked out why we do somethings the way we do. Not long ago I was explaining something by Denham Deep to some complete beginners (almost their first lock - not the best one to have ) who were in danger of drowning themselves and their kids. Afterwards a bystander came up to me and said that he had his own boat, but hadn't previously realised some of the things that I had explained. Sometimes what is obvious to us is not necessarily obvious to others.

 

My second point is that people are often most sensitive about the things that they feel most insecure about. I have colleagues and friends who clearly think that we are bonkers travelling along the canal in a steel boat when we could be staying in a luxury hotel somewhere in the Med. That is not a problem to me, I am fairly secure in my self image, and am able to make my own decisions about what I want to be doing with my time. Other people are not necessarily so comfortable with themselves.

 

Imagine a couple who actually like boating, but whose friends think that they are barmy, and who are constantly making digs about the 'metal pipe in a ditch'. They may well have a shiny boat that looks from the inside like a luxury flat, but as far as their family and friends are concerned they are still messing about in a 'sewer tube'. This couple may well be very sensitive to anyone and any boat that makes them feel like they are part of some kind of gypsy community.

 

Now, before I get shot down, I am not saying that this entitles them to behave rudely to other people, however, my suggestion is that for some boaters, this may give a reason for their behaviour.

 

What is the solution to both of these problems?

 

I suggest tolerance and patience. Engage people at locksides and, where possible, patiently explain why we do certain things the way that we do - even if it is not an issue at the time. If I explain casually why I always ask for permission to raise the paddles from the steerer, then perhaps those people might be less likely to whack the paddles up for someone else further down the cut. If I engage the 'shiny boat' people in conversation about where they have been in their travels, perhaps they will feel more part of a community of boaters.

 

While it is satisfying, shouting loudly at people is very unlikely to have much effect for the future. People shut off any kind of thought when they feel under attack, and they start to justify themselves by considering that whoever shouted at them was just an uncouth yob. And before I get criticised - yes, this is an ideal, we all get heated at times (me too!), some people are just so dense that the only solution is beating around the head with a windlass .

[Smelly]

I prefer to call it "The Mincer" (muwahahahahah).

 

You happy now?

 

[furnessvale]

While traveling the Nene around Denford and Ringstead, we have come across those that don't intend to go through the locks, but insist on taking up mooring space that has been put aside for those that use the locks. They then look on with blank expressions on theyr'e faces when you try to moor up at inappropriate places or at dangerous angles in order to negotiate the locks and leave it as it should be left. I should have just been rude and shouted for them to get out of the bl**dy way.

 

Never put yourself in danger in such a situation. As long as its a steel boat, a boat tied up at lock landings is a convenient platform to tie alongside and hop over in order to do your job. With a deep draughted boat it even keeps you out in the channel. BW workboats tied in such locations were always a most welcome sight:-)

 

George ex nb Alton retired

Edited July 24, 2009 by furnessvale

[haggis]

Catrin, what a lot of sense you wrote. I can see this applying in all walks of life, not just boating.

 

haggis

[Lady Muck]

But was it you !?!

 

No it was him, he fell out with the entire Wigan flight.

[MoominPapa]

In the school where I teach the rules are there to ensure that pupils and staff are safe, or so that we can do our jobs efficiently, but often pupils think that they are there to make their lives difficult. Instead of shouting at them it is far more effective to explain to them why the rule was put there in the first place, and what the possible (which is not the same as 'likely' ) consequences of breaking it are.

 

But sometimes the rules in school are pointless and designed just to make the pupils' lives difficult. This is (I assume) by design: when the kids inevitably break them ('cause that's what kids do) its better that they're breaking petty rules about uniform where the consequences are completely under the control of the adults, and not rules with real-world consequences (do not insert your head into the tiger's mouth...) They're practice rules, to learn how to obey rules before it really matters.

 

This insight only came to me as an adult: as a kid I just assumed that the adults invented stupid rules because adults were stupid.....

 

MP.

[bottle]

I just assumed that the adults invented stupid rules because adults were stupid.....

 

Now you are an adult, there is no need to assume you know.

[PaddingtonBear]

Most are

[mikevye]

why don't kids leave home at fifteen when they know it all?

[Billypownall]

I think the bad manners, bad attitude and bad behaviour is just a sign of what a crap world we live in today.

 

Phil

I agree with your comments as to things in general but not with regard to the canals. In 20 years manners are no worse and probably better but simply beacuse of the increase in numbers there are simply more people with the bad manners. By the same rule there are thounsands more polite,well mannered,kind,friendy and considerate people out there. I am quite sure that nowhere will you find more of these. As to the liveaboards on this site who appear to have it in for some of the rest of us well we''ll just have to put up with you and your remarks. Incidently in my opinion the people with the worst manners on the cut are the 2.m.p.h merchants who absolutely refuse to let anyone pass.

[Liam]

why don't kids leave home at fifteen when they know it all?

Because they know they have an easier time of it at home!

 

(Liam who is 24 and still lives with mummy and daddy, awwe!)

[Catrin]

But sometimes the rules in school are pointless and designed just to make the pupils' lives difficult. This is (I assume) by design: when the kids inevitably break them ('cause that's what kids do) its better that they're breaking petty rules about uniform where the consequences are completely under the control of the adults, and not rules with real-world consequences (do not insert your head into the tiger's mouth...) They're practice rules, to learn how to obey rules before it really matters.

 

This insight only came to me as an adult: as a kid I just assumed that the adults invented stupid rules because adults were stupid.....

 

MP.

I agree with you MP, however, I think that there is also another aspect to uniform. When we have 'non-uniform' days for charity the behaviour of the pupils is generally worse, they are less focused and do less meaningful work - many teachers in my school have commented on this. Now this may be because it is a 'special' day, but it may be because our students are setting the rules for the day.

 

I am quite strict on uniform in my classroom because I think that it is important that I set the agenda. If I allow students to set the agenda on uniform then they tend to get the idea that they have some choice about how they behave in other ways. At the end of the day I have a job to do, and while I do everything I can to make the work interesting and to present it in a way that they can see the purpose to it, there will always be a number who are less interested in my subject than others. I can't allow their behaviour to disrupt the learning of others - so I have to make it clear that I set the rules.

 

I don't deny that some teachers can completely ignore the uniform issue and manage to get their ideas across meaningfully, however, every teacher has survival strategies in the classroom and enforcing uniform as a general part of the principle of following the rules is one of those.

 

The (very successful) school where I teach has a traditional uniform and I always preferred the much more relaxed uniform of the school where our sons were (polo shirts, black sweatshirts, no ties). However, following a fairly disastrous Ofsted inspection and a huge number of resignations - including the Headteacher - that school has now abandoned the relaxed uniform and replaced it with blazers (with an new school crest), ties and 'proper' shirts.

[Tiny]

Worst <gossip> I'd heard was from the lady at the lock cottage at the end of the Shroppie in Middlewich. She saw a private boater ram a hire boat. The helmswoman onboard the private boat thought that the hire boat was about to 'steal her lock' so she rammed it deliberately. It wasn't planning to 'steal the lock, it was simply being turned around to take back to the hire base by a hire base worker.

 

That'll be the lovely Maureen, who grew up on working boats and who (when she's fit enough) will always be around to help newcomers up through Wardle Lock, which can be a bit hairy if you whack the paddles up in a hurry.

 

She had a fall recently, so isn't so active, but please give her a wave and a hello if you're passing through

 

 

Witnessed the fair Maureen in action one quite thursday afternoon, a hire boat trying to turn around, she stood for a while watching then said words to the effect of "if they dont turn the *explative* £$%&& soon, I'm going to have to do it for them, she was then about 103 or something.

 

 

I watched her turn one. From the King's lock bridge I watched this hire boat come flying out of Wardle bridge and slam into a turn. Blimey the old dear on the back of thats in a hurry thinks I. Then she catches the turn, slams back and forwards and dives back though the bridge heading for the lock. At this point I realise who is driving! When we came up in the lock Mareen told us that the lot on the boat were so useless and dithery that she wanted them out the way so she turned it for them. This experience was a bit much for the dears as they had moored just above her lock to recover.

 

 

 

why don't kids leave home at fifteen when they know it all?

 

Because, knowing it all they want mums coooking and dad and mums money rather than doing for themselves.

[FadeToScarlet]

I agree with you MP, however, I think that there is also another aspect to uniform. When we have 'non-uniform' days for charity the behaviour of the pupils is generally worse, they are less focused and do less meaningful work - many teachers in my school have commented on this. Now this may be because it is a 'special' day, but it may be because our students are setting the rules for the day.

 

I am quite strict on uniform in my classroom because I think that it is important that I set the agenda. If I allow students to set the agenda on uniform then they tend to get the idea that they have some choice about how they behave in other ways. At the end of the day I have a job to do, and while I do everything I can to make the work interesting and to present it in a way that they can see the purpose to it, there will always be a number who are less interested in my subject than others. I can't allow their behaviour to disrupt the learning of others - so I have to make it clear that I set the rules.

 

I don't deny that some teachers can completely ignore the uniform issue and manage to get their ideas across meaningfully, however, every teacher has survival strategies in the classroom and enforcing uniform as a general part of the principle of following the rules is one of those.

 

The (very successful) school where I teach has a traditional uniform and I always preferred the much more relaxed uniform of the school where our sons were (polo shirts, black sweatshirts, no ties). However, following a fairly disastrous Ofsted inspection and a huge number of resignations - including the Headteacher - that school has now abandoned the relaxed uniform and replaced it with blazers (with an new school crest), ties and 'proper' shirts.

 

I'm in agreement with both Catrin and MP here, I think. Thinking back to the school I was at, and the school I now work, there were/are a few rules that were very sensible- i.e. walk out slowly,calmly and in silence for a fire alarm, don't eat, drink, or spray flammable deodorant near computers, etc.- along with others that serve a dual purpose- they also help keep discipline, such as using "miss" and "sir", and the uniform rules too. There's sensible reasons for them, but they're there more to keep the kids in line and remind them who's boss; a uniform does ensure (partially) that there's more equality between kids both rich and poor, but mostly it reminds them where they are and who's in charge.

 

I think it's more likely the dual-purpose rules for both safety and discipline, that are more petty to let the kids push against them.

 

Certainly, my old school ditched the shirts, ties, and smart V-neck jumpers for polo shirts and (gasp!) baseball caps,and immediately went into Ofsted special measures as discipline noticably collapsed....

[grahoom]

Certainly, my old school ditched the shirts, ties, and smart V-neck jumpers for polo shirts and (gasp!) baseball caps,and immediately went into Ofsted special measures as discipline noticably collapsed....

 

blame it on the baseball cap!

[Naughty Cal]

Certainly, my old school ditched the shirts, ties, and smart V-neck jumpers for polo shirts and (gasp!) baseball caps,and immediately went into Ofsted special measures as discipline noticably collapsed....

 

Did you have hoodies to go with that lot?

[FadeToScarlet]

Did you have hoodies to go with that lot?

 

This was before they became really popular with the yoof