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sailor mcgee

boat related humour - share your boating jokes

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12 minutes ago, Tumshie said:

Not quite the same but back in the '70s there was this song called "All By My Self" (it was a terrible song) But it was practically note fore note Rachmaninoff's second Piano concerto. I'm not sure if he thought people just wouldn't notice. 😆

I can't identify which 'All By Myself' that was (there have been quite a few) but pop "borrowing" from the classics is nothing new. Sometimes the origional composer is credited, sometimes not. 'A Lovers' Concerto' was, according to the label, written by Sandy Linzer and Denny Randell, yet some reactionaries swore blind that a bloke named Bach had a hand in it too. Perhaps rock'n'roll's grandest larceny was 'Nut Rocker' by the rather delightfully-named B. Bumble & The Stingers, on which producer Kim Fowley collected the composer royalties for a tune obviously based on Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker.

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6 minutes ago, Athy said:

'Nut Rocker' by the rather delightfully-named B. Bumble & The Stingers,

Oh yeah now you mention it - I rememberer that. Well, I don't remember it at the time but I've heard the song. 

 

I liked that song, it was very zippy and clever. :D

 

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/all-by-myself/355934056?i=355939243

Song 84 on that very useless link. :huh:

Edited by Tumshie

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1 hour ago, Mac of Cygnet said:

 

It's a lot older than that!  It can be traced back to at least 1913, and has been called upon many times since, including by PG Wodehouse.  I remember hearing it on the radio in the 1950s.

Its a lot older than that. The sea Captain that first discovered it said to his number one "We will call it Jamaica, then we will have lots of people making jokes about sending their wives here".

 

 

Edited by artleknock
Double post
  • Greenie 1

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18 hours ago, NB Lola said:

If the posts continue as general jokes and not boat related I will help by merging the thread with friday joke thread

My wife went on a slow boat to the Caribbean.

"Jamaica ?"

"Yes ! she wanted to go to Brighton"

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18 hours ago, Mike the Boilerman said:

Ok we'll stop. 

 

Spoilsport mods. This is INSANE. 

Just like the Frenchman who fell in a river in Paris.

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Just now, Alan de Enfield said:

Yes, but he was in denial.

Would that not be Egypt. :huh:

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2 hours ago, Flyboy said:

Yes but at least it was boat related.

 

You're absolutely right!

So:  Two Eskimos, sitting in a kayak, were very chilly. To keep warm, they lit a fire in the craft, but it sank. They should have known. You can't have your kayak and heat it.

  • Haha 1

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1 minute ago, Alan de Enfield said:

My point exactly he was in France but he was in denial.

 

Gurls no nuffin !!!!!!

Sorry. :blush:😞

 

:giggles:

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Doesn't really work in writing but, what's long and hard and full of seamen?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A submarine.

 

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56 minutes ago, stegra said:

Doesn't really work in writing but, what's long and hard and full of seamen?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A submarine.

 

On similar lines, and a perfectly true story, some years ago I was ops manager of a fleet of deep sea tugs/salvage vessels. All the tugs names ended in "Man" so I'm sure some of you will recognise them as United Towing Ltd. Our sister company, Humber Tugs Ltd.  ran a fleet of tugs, all of who's names began with "Lady" and they  worked on the Humber Estuary & Docks - Humber Tugs Ltd. The joint group management decided that it would be a great  idea to have a tug that could work in either fleet, either deep sea or harbour, so they built it but could't decide whether it should be a "Man" Tug or a "Lady" tug. Which ever they chose they were concerned that either name might have some underlying sexual or sexist connotations. After a great deal of debate they compromised and guess what? They eventually decided to call it "Seaman" ! It looked great painted on the bow but sounded less so on the VHF.😲

 

Howard

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2 hours ago, howardang said:

They eventually decided to call it "Seaman" ! It looked great painted on the bow but sounded less so on the VHF.😲

 

Howard

 

Do Siemens still have an office in Staines?  Siemens Staines    However, as this is not a boating joke, I will offer:

 

noahs-arc-woodpecker.jpg

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4 hours ago, Mac of Cygnet said:

 

Do Siemens still have an office in Staines?  Siemens Staines    However, as this is not a boating joke, I will offer:

 

noahs-arc-woodpecker.jpg

If you ever had cause to phonethem, guess how they answered the phone!!!!!!!!!

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6 hours ago, Mac of Cygnet said:

 

Do Siemens still have an office in Staines? 

Years ago we had a salesman come into the office to sell his company's wares, who introduced himself as Dick Stain. My younger colleagues in particular found it difficult to suppress their guffaws!

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31 minutes ago, David Mack said:

Years ago we had a salesman come into the office to sell his company's wares, who introduced himself as Dick Stain. My younger colleagues in particular found it difficult to suppress their guffaws!

That's when a depoll name change is your savour.

 

Poor bugger what were they thinking.

 

No that's quite disturbing.

 

 

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11 hours ago, Tumshie said:

Sorry. :blush:😞

 

:giggles:

Manopause, no need to be sorry.

 

Stumpy posts get stumpy polite stumpy replies. X  

 

It's a lot easier to be a nice person in real life (your a good egg)

 

I find the tow path easy with real fleshy people and it's a good life.

 

Tumshie if you are ever able to do it 'go for it',  it's 5k a year with a healthy boat but owe my it's wonderfull.

 

Some nobbers but not too many.

 

 

 

 

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