Mac of Cygnet

"Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me!" Voted the funniest one-liner in film history.

I've resurrected this thread, one of several on the subject, so you may see one or two names from the past! Just bottled and labelled the 2018 vintage, and it promises from early sampling to be one of the best for years. We didn't make any last year, as there were no sloes round our way, so we've been missing it for a while. Bottling various sizes enables judicious distribution of Christmas presents!

I don't know why people are going on about a licence. This is the Middle Level, remember, as I pointed out in Post #29. It's the Wild West East. Though not for much longer..

We nearly lost one of our dogs several years ago when a fallen branch got caught under her collar and she twisted round and round until she nearly choked to death. I found her just in time. So for my latest dog I invested in a Petsafe breakaway collar which does what it says under these circumstances, preventing this happening. Apparently this occurrence is not uncommon. Unfortunately it works too well, and she has gone through 3 collars in 2 years - they just disappeared. Which proves they work, I suppose, but at £15 a time. Also, if you try to grab the dog by the collar, you are just left with a collar. She now goes collarless except when travelling to and from the boat by public transport.

Check the opening times! Last time I was there they didn't open in the evening until 7PM. There raison d'etre seems to be cobs, but I didn't see the attraction. Beautiful mooring and walk across to the village, though.

Oh no! B***** has even taken over the joke thread! So I might as well join in. An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman and a Scotsman walked into a bar. After a few drinks, the Englishman decided to go home, so they all had to leave.

I was there last year. So a reasonable score, but obviously unmemorable.

It seems that the whereabouts of the boat is known. If it were on CRT waters, and the police were involved, then it would be simple to establish who last licensed it (although this is not proof of ownership, it would be a start). Being on the ML makes that much more difficult, but what would happen if the (possibly) scammed couple simply took over the boat? Either they would then have it or someone would pop up to say "Oi! you can't do that!", which at least would make the situation clearer.

Preserve wildlife! Pickle a monkey!

You mean your spillchucker knows about a shop in the Philippines? Is that where you got your computer, then? Very enterprising.

diesel tank - Irish film criticisms.

Do Siemens still have an office in Staines? Siemens Staines However, as this is not a boating joke, I will offer:

You're absolutely right! So: Two Eskimos, sitting in a kayak, were very chilly. To keep warm, they lit a fire in the craft, but it sank. They should have known. You can't have your kayak and heat it.

Another classic, but not such a long pedigree - attributed to Ronnie Corbett. Another one from him: "All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my right hand."

It's a lot older than that! It can be traced back to at least 1913, and has been called upon many times since, including by PG Wodehouse. I remember hearing it on the radio in the 1950s.