Jolly handy boating tips!!!

[PhilR]

Don't wear a tie when upside down looking for a rattle you think is coming from the Centaflex coupling.

 

Ouch. But, did you seriously wear a tie when boating?...........

[swissarmywife]

Don't leave your iPhone in your shirt pocket when you go tie up the bow rope. D'oh.

[Paul's Nulife4-2]

stain remover don't work on removing grease from my boating Blazer..& cufflinks block bilge pumps.

[Daiboy]

 

At last. Here is my saviour

[Naughty Cal]

Always make sure there is alcohol in the fridge before setting off from your mooring.

[Guest]

1 - Never ever step on the very last end board of a wooden pontoon.

 

2 - Brand new unopened tubes of expensive 'no nails' do not float.

 

3 - Check the cassette is actually in place before using a Thetford toilet.

[matty40s]

Always make sure there is alcohol in the fridge before setting off from your mooring.

...as well as the Budweiser....

[Tim]

When stepping back on to the boat, make sure the boat is still there!

[Athy]

After touching up paintwork on the side of the boat away from the towpath, do not stand back to admire your handiwork.

[bizzard]

If your afflicted with a bad stutter its wise to always take someone along to shout HELP!!!!!!

[Chop!]

When you have a digital camera with never-to-be-repeated, amazing pics of some big bands like Scouting for Girls, Kaiser Chiefs etc looning about on your bicycles (at a festival) it is unwise to leave it on the roof near your centre rope, especially with a lethargic teenage crew!

 

Also, when painting the bilge, should you think it wise to put your lower body into the weedhatch, so that you can reach the nooks and crannies easier, you would be wise to devise an exit strategy and glue your wellies on! (well, I was in drydock!)

 

Edited October 4, 2013 by Chop!

[pelicanafloat]

1. try to remember to open hatch before going up steps

2. try to remember to open glass secondary glazing before sticking head out of side hatch

3. never light a cold stove with fresh wet laundry nearby waiting to get smoked

4. Let wife have best chair throughout the day so you can go to sleep in it in the evening

5. when going shopping don't forget the £ coin

6. never leave a metal can of oil in bilge long enough for it to rust and leak ....

7. When rushing to shut rear doors during rainfall, try not to push bar stool into cut!

[Victor Vectis]

Don't leave your iPhone in your shirt pocket when you go tie up the bow rope. D'oh.

Yep.

 

Been there. Done that

 

Anyone else prepared to put their hand up?

 

ETA It was a stern rope and not an iPhone in my case but you get the general idea.

Edited October 4, 2013 by Victor Vectis

[andywatson]

When you are eating on the move don't put your sandwich down to go and set a lock if you have a dog on the roof.

[Guest]

Yep.

 

Been there. Done that

 

Anyone else prepared to put their hand up?

 

ETA It was a stern rope and not an iPhone in my case but you get the general idea.

 

Not exactly the same but when I fell in last I had an iPhone in my jeans pocket........I can confirm they don't like water.

[andywatson]

When you are draining gearbox oil into a container which will fit under the gearbox, ensure that the container is greater than the stated capacity of the gearbox.

 

When you have collected the gearbox oil into a container with a large enough capacity ensure you can get it out without tipping the oil over the edge.

 

When tipping out the oil from the container you have collected it in, have a sieve handy to catch the drain plug and or washer which will inevitably been dropped into the (hot) oil.

 

When draining gearbox oil, have a large bin liner and 500 paper towels handy so you don't paddle oil trough the boat when going to fetch them.

 

If you are a clever sod and remember to use a disposable nappy under an engine or gearbox to absorb any spills, do not use this on a baby afterwards as it will make the cot dirty.

Don't wear a tie when upside down looking for a rattle you think is coming from the Centaflex coupling.

 

Ho ho. Dickie bows are OK though.

Edited October 4, 2013 by andywatson

[cheshire~rose]

Always remove sunglasses before entering a tunnel

 

Always light the stove on the day after you painted it while it is still warm enough to open the windows and doors. Do not wait until the weather gets cold to cure the paint.

[Pete & Helen]

Always slide your metal top hatch fully back, the first time you exit you will remember to duck, the second time - ouch !!

[Guest]

4 - always set your centre line(s) so you can easily grasp them from the roof at the rear of the boat making stepping ashore a seamless process not involving sloping along the gunwales to grasp them.

 

(three years on and I still forget to do this sometimes)

[Lady Muck]

When you are eating on the move don't put your sandwich down to go and set a lock if you have a dog on the roof.

Our dog has eaten literally dozens of bacon butties that were made for our guests. The classic was when our Godson fell asleep on the couch holding a bowl of pasta, the dog ate the lot in seconds. He won't touch our food, even if it's right in front of him, but he considers guests to be beneath him in the hierachy

[Beaker]

Yep.

 

Been there. Done that

 

Anyone else prepared to put their hand up?

 

ETA It was a stern rope and not an iPhone in my case but you get the general idea.

 

Blimey, you must have big shirt pockets!

[Lady Muck]

For my dog:

 

Don't try to attack the cat on the other side of the lock when you've been tied to the handrails at the top of the ladder (I know) :facepalm:

Don't try to walk down the gunwhales - you're not as narrow as you think.

A wet dog to the top of a wet lock gate don't stick. Thankfully the teeny bottom lock gate of the Hertford Union, he now knows he is forbidden to walk across the gates, this incident helped.

Don't try to follow your owner from the canoe to the bows of her friends boat when she tells you not to. It's because she knows you will miss. You missed.

Edited October 4, 2013 by Lady Muck

[Naughty Cal]

 

Not exactly the same but when I fell in last I had an iPhone in my jeans pocket........I can confirm they don't like water.

Neither do Blackberry's!!

When changing you oil filter and trying to be clever by bagging it to prevent oil spilling in the engine bay, make sure you choose a plastic bag with no holes in it.....

[Tim]

Before untying boat and pushing off - make sure tiller is fitted.

[Neil2]

Well shipmates, I was once given these golden rules by an old sea dog.......

 

1. Never test the depth of the water with both feet

 

2. Don't do anything with one end of a rope without first establishing what's happening at the other

 

3. Never go boating without a bucket and a wire coat hanger

 

4. All decisions made in the pub the night before should immediately be reviewed in the morning.

 

5. Remember, a ten minute job never takes less than an hour to complete.

 

6. The sun is always over the yard arm somewhere...

 

Arrrr....

Edited October 4, 2013 by Neil2