Jolly handy boating tips!!!

[bizzard]

Never go to sea at night with a colour blind navigator.

[Neil2]

True story!

 

I had an uncle-in-law with a terrible stammer that was pronounced further when talking to strangers. Taking one of my other uncles out for a sea cruise one afternoon, his boat's engine stalled and refused to start again. So, uncle Ray commenced his mayday call on the VHF radio such as this; "Mmmmmmaday, mmmmaday, Qqqqqquest here, nnnnneeding assistance!".

 

Repeatedly he called for help to any nearby boaters and at last his calls were answered. "Yyyyyyyyellow Ccccccanary here, what is your pppposition?" To which uncle Ray replied; "Ssssssstop tttttaking the pppppiss, I nnnnneed help!"

 

It just so happened that the first boatman to answer his cry for help, also had a stammer! What are the odds for that to happen?

Surely that should have been a pppppppan ppppppppan...? Maybe that would have taken too long...

[tony p]

My lady's top tip is always ensure your crew understand the need to untie the rope from the mooring pin and not the boat...

[MHS]

When going to bed, make sure there's enough milk to make SWMBO a coffee in the morning. Life wouldn't be worth living if not!!

[Bobbybass]

There's a ten to one chance that you'll fall in the canal in your first year....

BUT there's a 30 to one chance that you'll fall in twice in your first year...

 

So if you want to reduce the chances..

 

Fall in once...

 

Edited October 5, 2013 by Bobbybass

[mattlad]

Learning from your mistakes is one thing but just as important is learning from other people's mistakes!

 

Don't drill a hole in the bottom of the boat to let the water out.

I know someone that did that..........

[Iain_S]

(snip) .... as steering cross legged and cross eyed is an art and you may get some most peculiar LOOKs lol.

Yikes please please master bizzard..don't go and invent any gadgets!!!

Already invented

[pelicanafloat]

When making late night culpa, not a good idea to return milk into fridge before opening door ....the plastic bottle drops nicely onto floor and the resultant ripple dislodges bottle top and milk caresses those parts that are hard to reach!Sigh! .....