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Strawberry Orange Banana Lime Leaf Slate Sky Blueberry Grape Watermelon Chocolate Marble
Strawberry Orange Banana Lime Leaf Slate Sky Blueberry Grape Watermelon Chocolate Marble


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mattlad last won the day on October 10 2012

mattlad had the most liked content!

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About mattlad

  • Birthday 01/08/1963

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  • Occupation
    Company Director
  • Boat Name
    N.B. May
  • Boat Location
    Staffs & Worcs

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  1. Education is getting worse.

    I used to carry out collections and deliveries to and from a school that had a great big sign saying :- "PLEASE DO NOT EAT OR DRINK IN THE SCHOOL HALL'S." I do wonder how many of the staff noticed the mistake........
  2. RIP Mr Dodd.......

    Loved the Diddy Men
  3. Cassette Toilets!!?....Not 'IF' but 'Which One'!?

    Going in the woods (where the trees are) saves having to empty the cassette or pay for a pump out.......
  4. Friday joke

    The rain was pouring down. There standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water.. A passer-by stopped and asked, "What are you doing?" "Fishing" replied the old man. Feeling sorry for the old man, the gent says, "Come in out of the rain and have a drink with me." In the warmth of the pub, as they sip their whiskies, the gentleman, being a bit of a smart ass, cannot resist asking, "So how many have you caught today?" "You're the eighth", says the old man.
  5. Break-ins on Shroppie near Brewood

    Just make sure it is hot, salty and your bed is rock 'ard.
  6. Daily maintenance on RN engines

    Don't forget a squirt of oil in the governor.
  7. Friday joke

    A penguin is driving along the highway when, suddenly his engine starts running rough and he sees smoke in his rear view mirror. He pulls off the highway and finds the nearest garage, pulls up with the car shaking and sputtering. He tells the mechanic what happened, and the mechanic says "OK, give me 10 minutes to check it out." Meanwhile, the penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street. Thinking this is a perfect time for a tasty treat, he heads over and gets himself an ice cream cone. After he finishes, he walks back over to the garage, and asks the mechanic "So, did you find out what's wrong?" The mechanic looks at the penguin and says "It looks like you blew a seal." The penguin quickly wipes his face and says "Oh, no, that's just the ice cream."
  8. Old sayings.

    Don't know about The Navy but in our family we've described seagulls as shite hawks for as long as I can remember!
  9. Friday joke

    Hugh Heffner:- Police investigating the Playboy founder's death, suspect foreplay Singlehandedly responsible for so many young men doing things singlehandedly!
  10. Old sayings.

    One of my grandmother's :- Dem as cor, cor, con 'em. Dem as con, con, cor 'em. He / She's got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp...... Another one of grandmother's : - "It's a bit black over the back of Bill's mother's!"
  11. Friday joke

    After arriving in a hotel in Manchester, Michael O’Leary, went to the bar and asked for a pint of Guinness. The barman nodded and said, "That will be £1 please, Mr. O’Leary." Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money. "Well, we do try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday from 6 pm until 8 pm. We have the cheapest beer in England". "That is remarkable value", Michael comments. "I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours. That will be £3 please." O'Leary scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat. "Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra £2. You could have pre-booked the seat, and it would have only cost you £1." "I think you may be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please". Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in, he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame". "I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of £4 for your seat sir". O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another £3." O'Leary was so incensed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager". "I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be £2 please." O'Leary's face was red with rage. "Do you know who I am?" "Of course I do Mr. O'Leary." "I've had enough! What sort of a Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!" "Here is his e-mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9.00 am and 9.01am every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only £1 per second, or part thereof". "I will never use this bar again". "OK sir, but do remember, we are the only hotel in England selling pints for £1."
  12. Route planning software:

    I've also used RCR's RCR's route planner in the past.
  13. Tv

    Just got back from a weeks boating. Didn't watch any TV. Barely listened to the radio for more than a few minutes. Can't say I missed it....... Used a little bit of internet. Just busy doing stuff!
  14. All time worst ever movies

    I thought it was Roger Moore? Whatever, it's not my favourite film......
  15. We're currently carrying out essential maintenance work on Canal World. We apologise for any inconvenience at this time.