Daft comments/questions

[alan_fincher]

"Traffic calming " said my wife, whereon the lady went off & happily relayed this to her companians.

Brilliant ! :lol:

[matty40s]

Whilst going up the Rochdale at Todmorden - little old lady " I've lived all my life by the canal but I don't know how a lock works". Explained the workings as gently as possible.

 

Ray, she was still locked out today, said something about a warm night luckily and some silly young man yesterday with a bent handle who didn't help her, rang the local locksmith to help her.

[stickleback]

A week or two back, when I was moored at Braunston, a hippy type guy on a boat moored near by, asked me directions to get his boat to London. He'd just picked it up and wasn't sure of the way...

[ditchcrawler]

A week or two back, when I was moored at Braunston, a hippy type guy on a boat moored near by, asked me directions to get his boat to London. He'd just picked it up and wasn't sure of the way...

I shared with a boat going DOWN Buckby top who was trying to get to Rugby. He had left the hire base and gone in the wrong direction

[alan_fincher]

I shared with a boat going DOWN Buckby top who was trying to get to Rugby. He had left the hire base and gone in the wrong direction

Yes,

 

On the Thames we genuinely had someone ask us which direction it was for London.

[RichardH]

What's in your ham sandwich

 

OK so not canal related and asked of a customer when I was in the pub game. Nearly as good as:

 

Customer 'What is in your seafood pie'

 

Waitress 'Fish'

 

A no frills Yorkshire response if ever there was one.

[stort_mark]

Cheeky 10-year old kids pestering us at Minworth. Loads of questions.

They are still there when we got to the first lock and help us with the paddles.

 

One of them points to the windlass.

"How much did you pay for the handle, mister?"

 

Seeing where this is going, I sigh and reply "Two hundred quid"

 

Pause

 

He looked at the windlass again....."You were ripped off!"

[harleyj]

Moored up not far from King's Lock, Middlewich when three teenage locals walking past upon seeing our Australian flag asked if we were from America.

When we told them we were from Australia, one girl in particular went into raptures as she was a great Neighbours & Home and Away fan. Sorry but had to disappoint her, when we told her that thank god it is nothing like that.

[matty40s]

Seeing where this is going, I sigh and reply "Two hundred quid"

 

Pause

 

He looked at the windlass again....."You were ripped off!"

mark,

he was right, you can get them for less than £190 at midland chandlers

[madcat]

What does it do Mr?, asked by a bloke complete with children in tow .If he cant tell the difference between a man and a woman then the gooseberry bush rumour must be true or where else did he get his kids from?

[larrysanders]

when i had a springer bug which was all of 23ft i lost track of the times people would say.... :

 

has it shrunk in the wash...??? !! it was quite funny the first dozen or so times )

[Hekaterine]

What's in your ham sandwich

 

OK so not canal related and asked of a customer when I was in the pub game. Nearly as good as:

 

Customer 'What is in your seafood pie'

 

Waitress 'Fish'

 

A no frills Yorkshire response if ever there was one.

 

OT too, but a friend of mine bought a pie at a football match, bit into it and found just half an inch of brown sludge in the bottom. He went back and asked the girl behind the counter what flavour it was meant to be. She gave him a look and said "piiiiee" (badly spelled to suggest elongation of the word). He didn't feel he could complain after that really!

[stort_mark]

Angler today, friendly enough but clearly bemused by why boaters "do it": "Don't get me wrong, but why do you go up to Titford and then come back down? There's nothing up there, so why do you do it? Why?"

 

Me: "Much the same reason that you sit all day in one place looking at a float when you could go down to Morrisons to buy some fish"

[DHutch]

We get a few few crackers with the boat.

 

Bearling in mind emilyanne is 18 years old, and a welded steel, dutch barge style narrowboat.

"Its nice to see a proper boat like they used to be" or "Shes a lovely old lady" (older foke) make me smile. As do the people who try and correct me to 1891 when i tell them boat was built in 1991 (often while pointing at the date markings on the engine which read 1991)

 

We also get the old "Is she really steam" (steam curling round the leaking whisle valve)

"how do you get under bridges" when theres clearly a large split line and hinge at the base of the funnel, and a rest on the deck thats the right shape and location for it to fold onto. As well as rest shape dint (with green paint tranfer) from where the funnel has fell onto the rest when forgoten.

 

Mothers telling kids thats its "a steam boat like thomas" or "look its a boat like rosey and jim" (sometimes both from the same person, which must confuse the average 5yo whos just about peicing together the world)

 

We also got "do you live on her" a hell of a lot (like every other person) while we where painting her, which i can only put down to the fact that most private boaters now dont actaully do any of there own work, and have the paint job done in a sprayshop!

 

 

Daniel

[BlueStringPudding]

Angler today, friendly enough but clearly bemused by why boaters "do it": "Don't get me wrong, but why do you go up to Titford and then come back down? There's nothing up there, so why do you do it? Why?"

 

Me: "Much the same reason that you sit all day in one place looking at a float when you could go down to Morrisons to buy some fish"

 

[PaulG]

I was approaching a lock on the W&B last year, the lock landing being on the left hand side. I was heading for this to wait for a boat coming up in the lock. Just before I reached the landing, the gates opened, so I just stopped for a few moments so that the emerging boat could pass down my starboard side. I said a cheery "hello" to the steerer and got no reply. He just made a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

 

I later discovered that he had said to SWMBO, who had walked on ahead "What your husband has done there is illegal (i.e. made him pass starboard-to-starboard). I know, because I've studied Marine Law!".

 

SWMBO, who does not suffer fools gladly, said something like "Oh get back on your boat and b*gger off you silly little man", which was, evidently, a terrible insult to a man with such an extensive knowledge of "Marine Law".

[DHutch]

With the butty (on longline) we got a fair few comments about brakes, and our prevision of. That and questoins about why we wherent on crossstraps.

- However the top comment of the trip was, from a bloke who claimed to live by FMC while there where current. "Are the cloths origanal".

- In the end we came quiet and admited the where infact replica/replacements of the origanal. But two world wars and nearly 100 years would be blood goo going for a set of cloths!

 

 

Daniel

[blackelle123]

We also got "do you live on her" a hell of a lot (like every other person) while we where painting her, which i can only put down to the fact that most private boaters now dont actaully do any of there own work, and have the paint job done in a sprayshop!

 

 

Daniel

 

We also get this - all the bloody time!!! Thats why the contents of the average persons shed is stored on my blooming roof (sore point - currently going through intensive talks with Hubs over said condition of roof).

[Jim]

I was approaching a lock on the W&B last year, the lock landing being on the left hand side. I was heading for this to wait for a boat coming up in the lock. Just before I reached the landing, the gates opened, so I just stopped for a few moments so that the emerging boat could pass down my starboard side. I said a cheery "hello" to the steerer and got no reply. He just made a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

 

I later discovered that he had said to SWMBO, who had walked on ahead "What your husband has done there is illegal (i.e. made him pass starboard-to-starboard). I know, because I've studied Marine Law!".

 

SWMBO, who does not suffer fools gladly, said something like "Oh get back on your boat and b*gger off you silly little man", which was, evidently, a terrible insult to a man with such an extensive knowledge of "Marine Law".

I had a similar experience years ago aboard "Gardenia" a BW working boat that was loaned out to clubs stc as part of the "Keep the Channel Clear" campaign. Approaching a lock I had to wave the steerer of an oncoming boat to pass on the "wrong" side -which was going to be easier for both of us. At first he refused to do so and I had to insist as by then it just wasn't going to to be practical to pass "correctly". He eventually relented and came forward shouting "If you can't handle a boat that size you shouldn't have one....." but he went strangely quiet when he came alongside and saw the "British Waterways" on the cabin side.

[billh]

I had a similar experience years ago aboard "Gardenia" a BW working boat that was loaned out to clubs stc as part of the "Keep the Channel Clear" campaign. Approaching a lock I had to wave the steerer of an oncoming boat to pass on the "wrong" side -which was going to be easier for both of us. At first he refused to do so and I had to insist as by then it just wasn't going to to be practical to pass "correctly". He eventually relented and came forward shouting "If you can't handle a boat that size you shouldn't have one....." but he went strangely quiet when he came alongside and saw the "British Waterways" on the cabin side.

 

Talking of BW- we were on an IWA cruise from Liverpool to R Weaver a few years ago, nearly all the boats were modern narrowboats , we were the exception with a sheeted up working boat. There was a BW reception committee at Weston Marsh lock sporting British Waterways umbrellas to welcome the boats to the River. One young lady ( with brolly) asks me " why is your boat like that (pointing at the hold) , you should have a roof on like all these proper boats?" I was stuck for an answer.

A regular one from years of horseboating " is yer engine broken down?"

Bill

[Serendipity]

I later discovered that he had said to SWMBO, who had walked on ahead "What your husband has done there is illegal (i.e. made him pass starboard-to-starboard). I know, because I've studied Marine Law!".

 

I was chastised once for 'passing on the wrong side' in a lock exchange on the Caen Flight when it was patently obviously the easiest course for both of us, as we were doing a diagonal swap right to left whilst the other two boats waited in the lock for their swap.

[magpie patrick]

I was chastised once for 'passing on the wrong side' in a lock exchange on the Caen Flight when it was patently obviously the easiest course for both of us, as we were doing a diagonal swap right to left whilst the other two boats waited in the lock for their swap.

 

I have met people who insist on trying to use the right-hand lock of a duplicated pair on this basis, even if it set against them and the left hand one for them. Even the Panama Canal doesn't have THAT as a rule!

 

When I suggest rules are for the guidance of the wise and the observance of fools they often turn puce

[Nine of Hearts]

When I suggest rules are for the guidance of the wise and the observance of fools they often turn puce

 

I shall remember that quote if ever I get stopped for speeding. As long as you promise to come and visit me inside.

[mayalld]

I have met people who insist on trying to use the right-hand lock of a duplicated pair on this basis, even if it set against them and the left hand one for them. Even the Panama Canal doesn't have THAT as a rule!

 

Interesting one for the bye-laws!

 

Bye-law 18 does indeed require passing port side to port side.

 

Bye-law 24 mandates using the lock with the more favourable level, but only where the two locks act as side ponds for each other.

[magpie patrick]

I shall remember that quote if ever I get stopped for speeding. As long as you promise to come and visit me inside.

 

I will, what's your tipple?

 

By way of example though, I recently had to take samples to a hospital (not my regular day job) and as they were time sensitive, I jumped a red light by a fraction of a second. Just my luck, PC Plod pulled me over (curses curses). I don't normally do that and just my luck.

 

When I explained why I'd done it, there was a momentary conflab between the WPC who had spoken to me and the PC driver, which led to a "follow us", at which point I was lead through the traffic on the wah-wahs.

 

 

Interesting one for the bye-laws!

 

Bye-law 18 does indeed require passing port side to port side.

 

Bye-law 24 mandates using the lock with the more favourable level, but only where the two locks act as side ponds for each other.

 

The second one is plain daft!

 

There are no longer any locks that act as side pond to each other, and in any event this is where it would matter LESS if you insisted on using the right hand one!

 

If a craft is moored to my starboard (roughly analogous to PaulG's example) am I expected to go round it on the towpath?