Second place

[mayalld]

This tale involves a hire boater,but I'm pretty convinced that his hire-boatery-ness had nothing to do with what he did.

 

Returning from Oxford, it was my intention to stop at Stretton, to take on water. We came through the narrows, to find a boat on the Water Point, tied fore and aft, with no hose pipe, and nobody above decks.

 

Now, mindful of the advice received here about dealing with situations, it seemed to me that there were two possible ways forward;

• Breast up, and take on water
  
• Ask them (nicely) to move
  

The first isn't an option here, as breasing up would have fouled the narrows, so asking nicely it was;

 

Me: "Excuse me"

Him: "Yes"

Me: "Sorry to trouble you, but I need to get onto the water point"

Him: "What water point?"

Me: "You're actually moored on a water point"

Him: "Well, how am I expected to know it's a water point!"

Me (resisting to temptation to mention the 3ft high sign that says WATER POINT): "Ah, sorry if you haddn't spotted it, but it is a water point and I do want to use it"

Him: "Well, it isn't convenient, we're having lunch, and there is nowhere else to moor"

Me: "So, you won't move to let me take on water?"

Him: "No, I'm having my lunch, just bugger off and stop bothering me!"

Me: "OK, fair enough, You enjoy your day, and I hope that you meet up with somebody who treats you with the same lack of consideration that you have shown to me"

 

And with that, I decide to give it up as a bad job, and take on water at Sutton Stop instead.

 

Fifteen minutes later, I look back, to see the offending boat pursuing me making one hell of a wash.

 

I carry on as normal, and he eventually gets to about 2 boat lengths behind me, so I slow down and wave him to overtake. He just drops back.

 

Thus continues the journey. If I go to normal cruising speed, he speeds up. If I slow down, so does he. He won't pass me. He is clearly intent on making some silly gesture by sitting on my tail (apart from the regular occasions where he gets it wrong, and goes into the bushes), and does so most of the way to Sutton Stop.

 

So, I arrive at Sutton Stop to take on water. It is a scene of chaos! the lock isn't working (another story for another day), and the queue is already spilling onto the WP and lock waiting moorings. A nice chap on the long term moorings tells me that the last LTM isn't taken at present, and suggests that I moor there, as it looks like we will have to wait for BW. Very handy, because my hose will reach the WP from there!

 

Then matey boy stems past shouting at me;

Him: "Who the hell do you think you are talking to me like that!"

Me: "I'm Dave.... Oh, and by the way, you might like to reconsider your course, because the lock isn't working!"

 

He duly squeezes in on the front of the lock waiting mooring, and doesn't appear to have any desire to continue the conversation.

 

The stoppage continues until 1pm the following day, and on the following morning, he has been round to talk to all the boaters who were there before him, to tell them that he has to get the boat back to Ashby Boats by that evening. They generously consent that he can jump the queue and go before them. He doesn't approach me (surprise, surprise), so when the lock re-opens at 1pm, I call over.

Me: "I hear that you've already arranged to go first. Please feel free."

 

The day progresses, and as we pass the end of the Ashby, I remark to Bev that at least we've now seen the last of that one.

 

Ah, but that life was that simple!

 

As we approach the top of Atherstone locks, a boat is coming through the bridge, and isn't leaving any room for us to pass port to port. His position is inexplicable, because there isn't enough mooring space between the last boat and the bridge for another boat, and there is a young lad fishing on the 30 feet that is there.#

 

I call out;

Me: "Which side shall I pass you?"

and am net with frantic waves to pass him the wrong side. He is making for the too short gap and the fisherman.

 

As I turn left to avoid him, and as the fisherman leaps up to avoid the boat making for him, the realisation dawns. It is the self same idiot, who has just winded above the locks, and is trying to get a non-existent mooring. Clearly the story about having to get back to Stoke Golding that night was a blatant lie.

 

I am, dear reader, but a mortal man, and weak. As we passed, I could resist no longer. I said nothing until we were level, then said;

Me: "I suppose I should have known it would be you!"

Him: "You are the most obnoxious man that I have ever met!"

 

A stream of expletives flew from his lips, as we went through the bridge, and as I set the lock, I noticed him smashing into the bank, moving out of the mooring that never was, and re-mooring further up. As I set the second lock, I see him marching up to the lockie's house, hammering on the door, and engaging in an animated discusion, with lots of hand waving, and pointing towards me. Clearly the lockie is to "do something about" me.

 

Well, BW haven't been round with the rubber truncheons, so I think I'm safe!

 

So, for;

• Deliberately and inconsiderately mooring on a water point that he knew was a water point
  
• Lieing about it
  
• Getting arsey when asked to move
  
• Lieing about when he needed to be back in order to jump a queue
  
• Making a ridiculous and illogical maneouver without signalling his intent
  
• Being an all round idiot
  

Second place goes to the hirer of Ashby Boats "Golding" who was on board on 24th July 2009

[LEO]

Hi,

 

Interesting post! sadly a reflection of life to-day and how road-rage becomes the norm on canals.

I look forward to the next installment.

 

Leo.

[stewey]

I'm looking forward to reading about your "First Place" after reading about the winner of the runner up spot!

 

Stewey

[churchward]

What a muppet! I can't wair for First place story it must be a doozy!

[Guest]

Mayalid - you have a very entertaining way with words...

[RLWP]

Hmmm,

 

I wonder if Ashby Boats are a member of this forum?

 

Richard

[mayalld]

What a muppet! I can't wair for First place story it must be a doozy!

 

It could be a dissapointment.

 

The first place is a rather more safety oriented one.

[Smelly]

It could be a dissapointment.

 

The first place is a rather more safety oriented one.

 

Can we inspire you to a couple of "honourable mentions" then, this is making for good reading!

 

OTH, what twunt your Ashby geezer was.

 

Ｂ＊ｇｇｅｒ

[mayalld]

Can we inspire you to a couple of "honourable mentions" then, this is making for good reading!

 

OTH, what twunt your Ashby geezer was.

 

Ｂ＊ｇｇｅｒ

 

(Dis)Honourable mentions to follow the first place.

 

Oh, and, just to be different, a couple of boquets along the way as well

[blackrose]

What's been described above is obviously outrageous behaviour - the latest in the series.

However, although I appreciate it was a long trip, when one person wishes to relate such a disproportionate amount of negative experiences one cannot help but wonder if they are somehow attracting the episodes that seem to surround them?

 

Or perhaps it's just an acute sensitivity to the behaviour of others? How about telling us about all the positive experiences you had and all the considerate, helpful people you met? Did you remember to make a note of them too?

Edited August 5, 2009 by blackrose

[RLWP]

What's been described above is obviously outrageous behaviour - the latest in the series.

However, although I appreciate it was a long trip, when one person wishes to relate such a disproportionate amount of negative experiences one cannot help but wonder if they are somehow attracting the episodes that seem to sorround them?

Or perhaps it's just an acute sensitivity to the behaviour of others? How about telling us about all the positive experiences you had and all the considerate, helpful people you met? Did you remember to make a note of them too?

 

That's a fair point. Dave, I'm enjoying your writing very much. Will you be producing you top three favourite moments/experiences as well?

 

Richard

 

After you number one in this series of course.

 

edited - Damn, he's mentioned Bouquets while I was writin' this

Edited August 5, 2009 by RLWP

[mayalld]

What's been described above is obviously outrageous behaviour - the latest in the series.

However, although I appreciate it was a long trip, when one person wishes to relate such a disproportionate amount of negative experiences one cannot help but wonder if they are somehow attracting the episodes that seem to sorround them?

Or perhaps it's just an acute sensitivity to the behaviour of others? How about telling us about all the positive experiences you had and all the considerate, helpful people you met? Did you remember to make a note of them too?

 

Please see the previous post! Some of the good stuff will follow, although good stuff tends to make a shorter story

 

And I opened this series by saying that there were only really 3 incidents worth relating. Such dishonourable mentions as I can muster are slight, so I really don't see that I am relating a disproportionate number of negative incidents.

[starman]

A great story! But by way of contrast I'd just like to say I've been delighted (and I admit surprised) by the care and courtesy of pretty much every one of the many hire boaters I've met on a cruise that's so far taken us on the GU, Soar and Trent & Mersey. (Even the much maligned Canaltime/Hire-a-Canal-Boat). They're generally families taking it steady and being almost too eager to give way at bridges or help out at locks.

 

Still a great tale, very well told!

[furnessvale]

Mayalid - you have a very entertaining way with words...

 

You also have the patience of Joab, far more than I could muster:-(

 

George ex nb Alton retired

[blackrose]

Please see the previous post! Some of the good stuff will follow, although good stuff tends to make a shorter story

 

And I opened this series by saying that there were only really 3 incidents worth relating. Such dishonourable mentions as I can muster are slight, so I really don't see that I am relating a disproportionate number of negative incidents.

I guess it just seems like more because of the way in which the author skillfully embellishes his descriptions.

 

Do be carefull with that though, I once remember interviewing someone for a fairly undemanding job and looking through her CV I said "I see you worked at (rival company) for 5 months, how did it go there?"

 

"Oh they treated me really badly and I had to leave" she replied.

 

"Ok, how about the job before that on your CV - it doesn't say how long you were there"

 

"I only stayed a couple of months - they were terrible to work for"

 

And so it went on... After the third place that she claimed had mistreated her I just thought "IT'S HER!"

[mayalld]

I guess it just seems like more because of the way in which the author skillfully embellishes his descriptions.

 

Why thank you!

 

I always think that if you want to tell a story, you should make it so that the reader can get a feel for it.

[RichardH]

Really brightened up my day - I love well written tales like this.

 

Shame that he was a hirer (but respect to Dave for acknowledging that it wasn't general hireyboatyness) which gives extra ammo to the hire-bashing brigade.

 

We have a private boater up here who acts in exactly the same way - nails past on full pelt then parks on the lock mooring and spends all day polishing his boat and generally acting like some sort of personality with the ice-cream clasping tourists.

Edited August 6, 2009 by RichardH

[Lady Muck]

We've a boater in our marina who has a boat with a broken engine. I've never seen the boat move.

 

He bought my neighbours boat (which had also broken down) for cash, but the moorings warden wouldn't let him keep the mooring (unsurprisingly), she'd already allocated it to someone else. She did find him another mooring, that wasn't at all suitable for tender (great big section 8 yacht on the bankside, various trees, brambles etc, they are still trying to sort it now). We had to give him a tow down there. Of course it never occured to him to fix the engine and two years on, it's still not fixed.

 

The morning of the move, we went round to his boat for coffee. Every boat that came past us that morning he was bellowing out of the window and waving his fists. 'Slow Down!' Make sure you close those lock gates! I'm coming through!!' Basically falling out with every boater that came past and acting like captain boatmaster or something, despite the fact he was not going to be doing any helming and all we'd be doing is towing him through a lock not even half a mile.

[mikevye]

Good story Dave and well told. I think your knowledge of water points saved the day, how many of us with empty tanks would have been so tolerant. Met with this obnoxious peace of pooh I'd have been straight on to Ashby Boats (good company) outlining the problem and telling them to do something about Their boat! all courtesy of the mobile phone. Why should boaters such as yourself have to educate others who should have been made aware of the rules prior to setting off. A word with Ashby might not be without reward even at this late stage in case (a) they're not telling hirers or ( this idiot hires from them again!

[Grace and Favour]

Dave,

 

An excellently crafted tale - very readable, and like all well written material, easy to follow, easy to picture and most evocative.

 

It's a shame there are such peeps as your Ashby Pilot on the waterways - but unfortunately there are similar inconsiderate elements that permeate all walks of life . . .

 

I look forward to your next report with anticipation . .. ..

 

 

 

 

It may be scant consolation, but it really shouldn't surprise us that there are so many rsoles around - when one considers the volume of toilet roll available

[Lady Muck]

Good story Dave and well told. I think your knowledge of water points saved the day, how many of us with empty tanks would have been so tolerant. Met with this obnoxious peace of pooh I'd have been straight on to Ashby Boats (good company) outlining the problem and telling them to do something about Their boat! all courtesy of the mobile phone. Why should boaters such as yourself have to educate others who should have been made aware of the rules prior to setting off. A word with Ashby might not be without reward even at this late stage in case (a) they're not telling hirers or ( this idiot hires from them again!

 

I bet this rule isn't part of the training, because it's not like you can cill a boat at a waterpoint, is it?

[carlt]

A word with Ashby might not be without reward even at this late stage in case (a) they're not telling hirers or ( this idiot hires from them again!

I was threatened, by an Ashby hirer, in the 90s so reported it to them and they were complete gents, assuring me that action would be taken and, when I'm up their way, they would make sure I was compensated, for my hassle.

 

It was a couple of years later that I arrived at their boatyard (towing a boat that had run out of diesel) and , sure enough, they remembered me.

[Tiny]

A fascinating, if extreme example of some of the few clowns we meet like that. Strangely most of this type, we find, are on share boats.

 

On your Ashby chap it is interesting to think that going from there, doing the Ashby then and the Oxford, turning round at Rugby, and the Coventry, turning at Atherstone, the (Sutton) stop lock he queue jumped may have been his only lock experience on the holiday and probably ever. So, if this was his first trip he would arrive at his second able to tell the firm he hires from that he has been before and is an expert. I wonder what he does for a living given his attitude to the rest of us. Maybe he is a BW manager. We used to travel on BR trains with their managers and they were foreever complaining to the. train guard about things that bothered no one. To the BW equivalent as them storming to the Locky to complain and demand instant action would be just the thing.

 

At the end of the day I think you were very patient with your mate. And how he could call you rude given your friendly language would imply he and family need a bit of councilling. (Or a kick up the arse!)