Knees need love, too.

[Clifford]

I've been under the doctor with me knee! As my elderly aunties used to say.

 

Getting better now, but I thought I'd torn a tendon or something seriously physical in my right knee. The pain was only just bearable if I lay in bed and adjusted a stack of cushions behing my knee ..... juuust so. At three in the morning, it often WASN'T bearable, the pain would get worse and worse wherever I moved my leg and the cushions. Getting to the loo was a trial. Anyone getting within ten feet of THE KNEE set it jangling.

 

I couldn't understand how I'd done it. No memory of twisting my knee, or of landing funny.

 

It turns out to be the result of working on the boat!

 

Nothing much, a bit of kneeling awkwardly at the sink to do some plumbing, ditto at the electrics cupboard to tidy wires up, ditto at the back step to drain the cabin bilge, ditto at the front step to sort out the water pump, ditto at the kitchen cupboard to fettle the heating circulation pump.....

 

Yes, it turns out I've had housemaid's knee! How the sympathetic relatives will chuckle. It's an inflammation of the soft pad behind your kneecap, only cure is rest and icepacks. No boat fixing for a while....

 

In total, it was probably only ten hours' total kneeling time. And I was sort of being careful, kneeling on a thin foam pad when and if I remembered. But when I get back in fettling mode, it will be proper workman's

strap-on kneepads, with rigid front (for when you kneel on a screw) and cushioned backs.

 

Be warned! Do NOT get housemaid's knee (or 'boat fettler's knee' as it will be rechristened for the benefit of friends and family). You won't like it. This was NO JOKE.

 

Doez anyone want to warn against other conditions boaters should guard against (apart from Terminal Financial Optimism)

[Athy]

Well, there the repetitive strain between wrist and elbow caused by raising the hand in greeting to each passing boater, This is called Canal Arm.

Oh, and the distressing flatulence prevalent in health-conscious lady boaters who eat excessive amounts of salad and brassica. That's known as Windlass.

[mark99]

There's boatmans shin.

 

When swinging your hammer on the mooring pin - spread the legs or else you end up with a black/yellow lower leg for 5 weeks.

[Athy]

A localised back ailment has been noted near Rugby, occurring in boaters working the onerous paddle mechanisms at Hillmorton. It affects both sides of the back and is thus called Double Lock.

[mark99]

First mates sore swede.

 

When you close the sliding hatch slightly so the first mate smacks their bonce when trying to get up to the counter.

 

Quickly followed by captains black eye if you laugh.

[YamYam]

Total weedhatch paralysis is another good one, hopefully theres someone passing at the time of said paralysis to pull me out and hopefully get me upright

[Barry]

Wet leg syndrome

 

Caused by standing too close to those ground paddle stanchions that have a vent at the base.

 

In bad cases the wetness can reach the crutch causing much mirth and embarrassment

[Arthur Marshall]

Try Voltarol gel - did wonders for my tennis elbow!

[Clifford]

Arthur, thank you, I will give it a go.

 

Over the worst now, but gets painful after an hour or two out of bed.

 

SERIOUSLY, FOLKS. You do NOT want this to happen to you. It is a week's worth of painful nights, and will keep you off work.

 

Do NOT kneel on hard floors for prolonged periods.

 

It HURTS.

 

 

Back to the jokes...

 

Ratchetslipeye. For lock crew who let go of a windlass on the spindle of a raised paddle.

[mango]

After a few days steering a narrowboat with a poorly balanced rudder, the continuous pressure gives me a pain in the elbow. I call it 'tiller arm'.

[patty-ann]

crick neck syndrome ...those of us attempting to varnish ceiling of boat when can only just reach.

 

 

 

Yeah know steps sensible option

Edited May 16, 2014 by patty-ann

[Jim Riley]

Cure those knees, bring them out to air. Just the weather for it. Shaving optional.

[pete harrison]

SERIOUSLY, FOLKS. You do NOT want this to happen to you. It is a week's worth of painful nights, and will keep you off work.

You have my full sympathy. I am fighting a similar problem myself, only it is my left knee.

 

Unfortunately mine is not boat related but the result of a combination of middle aged wear and tear and a physically demanding job.

[Clifford]

Pete, You have my sympathy too.

 

I thought I was too old to go 'weak at the knees' again. But apparently not.

[RLWP]

Knees are rubbish - for a start, why isn't there a grease nipple so you can keep them lubricated

 

Richard

[Barry]

Since I got m'dawg and started doing miles every day I've lost more than a stone in weight and my painful Lincolnshire knees (they don't do hills), that were previously limited to one four mile walk per week, have stopped hurting completely

[mattlad]

Knees are rubbish - for a start, why isn't there a grease nipple so you can keep them lubricated

 

Richard

And easily replaceable bearings.

[MtB]

Knees are rubbish - for a start, why isn't there a grease nipple so you can keep them lubricated

 

Richard

 

 

You don't have them on yours?!

 

MtB

[Nightwatch]

On the news at lunchtime there was a report that a woman has had a hip replacement made by a photocopier, or something similar.

 

Martyn

[dave moore]

Hi all

 

I'm a sufferer too, more than 30 years of kneeling, admittedly with knee pads and latterly with a " kneeler" - a 4" foam pad on a wooden board - then the right knee is protesting and I agree totally about the pain and discomfort. At times I've hobbled about and work has been out of the question. Naprosyn anti inflammatories have helped to some extent but I'm loath to pop more pills than absolutely necessary and only use them when things are dire.

 

" Skive to survive" was my GPs advice when an x-ray confirmed his diagnosis....not altogether an option, but I've taken to sitting where possible, only kneeling for the " bottom line" of lettering. As a younger man I was blasé about the risk, wish now that I'd thought harder!

 

Years ago, I bumped in to an older guy I used to work with. He had retired not long ago.

 

" Dave," he said " don't get old."

 

" What?" I questioned.

 

" Well," he replied...." All the bits that used to work don't any more. And the ones that are left...bloody hurt!"

 

Cheers

[Henhouse]

I've been under the doctor with me knee! As my elderly aunties used to say.

 

Getting better now, but I thought I'd torn a tendon or something seriously physical in my right knee. The pain was only just bearable if I lay in bed and adjusted a stack of cushions behing my knee ..... juuust so. At three in the morning, it often WASN'T bearable, the pain would get worse and worse wherever I moved my leg and the cushions. Getting to the loo was a trial. Anyone getting within ten feet of THE KNEE set it jangling.

 

I couldn't understand how I'd done it. No memory of twisting my knee, or of landing funny.

 

It turns out to be the result of working on the boat!

 

Nothing much, a bit of kneeling awkwardly at the sink to do some plumbing, ditto at the electrics cupboard to tidy wires up, ditto at the back step to drain the cabin bilge, ditto at the front step to sort out the water pump, ditto at the kitchen cupboard to fettle the heating circulation pump.....

 

Yes, it turns out I've had housemaid's knee! How the sympathetic relatives will chuckle. It's an inflammation of the soft pad behind your kneecap, only cure is rest and icepacks. No boat fixing for a while....

 

In total, it was probably only ten hours' total kneeling time. And I was sort of being careful, kneeling on a thin foam pad when and if I remembered. But when I get back in fettling mode, it will be proper workman's

strap-on kneepads, with rigid front (for when you kneel on a screw) and cushioned backs.

 

Be warned! Do NOT get housemaid's knee (or 'boat fettler's knee' as it will be rechristened for the benefit of friends and family). You won't like it. This was NO JOKE.

 

Doez anyone want to warn against other conditions boaters should guard against (apart from Terminal Financial Optimism)

I had it years ago, but it wasn't painful. In fact I didn't even know I had it. 'Er indoors noticed one kneecap looked much bigger than the other.

 

Dr referred me to hospital, where a most delightfully gorgeous nurse proceeded to remove about half a pint of fluid with a very large syringe. That fixed it, and it's been fine ever since.

[bizzard]

A tap on the head is known to cure water on the knee.

[mango]

A tap on the head is known to cure water on the knee.

A tap on the ankle, please.

[bizzard]

A tap on the ankle, please.

Too low down for a tap on the head to fix. Try a tap dance..

[Peter Reed]

Too low down for a tap on the head to fix. Try a tap dance..

I tried that once, but broke an ankle when I fell into the bath.