bizzard Posted October 12, 2013 Report Share Posted October 12, 2013 If you are yearning for a hot bath but have no means of heating the water to fill it with simply fill it with cold water jump in it and remain there eating hot meals whilst doing vigorous excercises to keep warm. After a day or two what with your eating and vigorous excercises your body will begin to warm the water up a bit and eventually depending on how hot you've got your body with all the eating and excersising the water will have warmed up to such an extent that it should equal your body's temperature, when this is attained you can then relax, lie back in it and swoon in the lovely warmth eating bath buns, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchcrawler Posted October 12, 2013 Report Share Posted October 12, 2013 If you are yearning for a hot bath but have no means of heating the water to fill it with simply fill it with cold water jump in it and remain there eating hot meals whilst doing vigorous excercises to keep warm. After a day or two what with your eating and vigorous excercises your body will begin to warm the water up a bit and eventually depending on how hot you've got your body with all the eating and excersising the water will have warmed up to such an extent that it should equal your body's temperature, when this is attained you can then relax, lie back in it and swoon in the lovely warmth eating bath buns, If you are a CCer would you be able to moor long enough for the water to warm up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bizzard Posted October 12, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2013 If you are a CCer would you be able to moor long enough for the water to warm up? Good point, but if your in there for a long time I reckon you'd nod off and would become a CSer (continuous snorer) and wouldn't hear anyone knocking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bargemast Posted October 12, 2013 Report Share Posted October 12, 2013 After reading your tip of the week, which is giving us as usual very easy steps to follow to live a better, and even more comfortable living afloat, I'm considering now to install a bathtub. I'd never thought about heating up the water with my body warmth before, and didn't bother with a bathtub with my limited hot-water supply of the calorifier. Thank you very much for this excellent tip, Peter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bizzard Posted October 12, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2013 After reading your tip of the week, which is giving us as usual very easy steps to follow to live a better, and even more comfortable living afloat, I'm considering now to install a bathtub. I'd never thought about heating up the water with my body warmth before, and didn't bother with a bathtub with my limited hot-water supply of the calorifier. Thank you very much for this excellent tip, Peter. My pleasure Peter, I'm glad to have helped and I hope you have many happy days relaxing in your bathtub. I'd install your bathtub high up above the waterline with a little ladder to climb up and into it, like a bunkbed. By this method you don't need all the complications of a pump to empty it it'll just drain out be gravity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bargemast Posted October 12, 2013 Report Share Posted October 12, 2013 My pleasure Peter, I'm glad to have helped and I hope you have many happy days relaxing in your bathtub. I'd install your bathtub high up above the waterline with a little ladder to climb up and into it, like a bunkbed. By this method you don't need all the complications of a pump to empty it it'll just drain out be gravity. That's another good tip, I was thinking of making it fill all by itself by installing the tub under the waterline, and to fill to just open a seacock, of course I didn't think much about the draining, which will be easier the way you suggest. I didn't stop thinking about heating the water, but then had (what I think is) a good idea too, which is having a bath after having tried to teach myself to weld, using your advise, as I'm sure my naked body will be boiling hot (and probably badly burnt too) so the water will warm up quicker. Peter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Ambrose Posted October 12, 2013 Report Share Posted October 12, 2013 My tip of the week is.....Always check your tyres and never ever eat yellow snow. Phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beaker Posted October 12, 2013 Report Share Posted October 12, 2013 If you are yearning for a hot bath but have no means of heating the water to fill it with simply fill it with cold water jump in it and remain there eating hot meals whilst doing vigorous excercises to keep warm. After a day or two what with your eating and vigorous excercises your body will begin to warm the water up a bit and eventually depending on how hot you've got your body with all the eating and excersising the water will have warmed up to such an extent that it should equal your body's temperature, when this is attained you can then relax, lie back in it and swoon in the lovely warmth eating bath buns, I think I've asked this before, but can I have some of what you're on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac of Cygnet Posted October 12, 2013 Report Share Posted October 12, 2013 What happened to your wheezes? Have you got a new inhaler? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bizzard Posted October 12, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2013 What happened to your wheezes? Have you got a new inhaler? I think the wheezes were starting to bore folk a bit which I sensed and which caused me to lose heart a little and so the necessary special touch required was lacking so I ceased doing them. But I have lots of wheeze ideas saved up though, maybe I'll start them again, not sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Ambrose Posted October 12, 2013 Report Share Posted October 12, 2013 Aw come on Biz, ignore those lacking a sense of humour and give us your wheezes and entertain us putting a smile on our faces and a spring in our step. Phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loafer Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 You know how drinking a bottle of red wine makes your teeth go red? Try drinking a further TWO bottles of white wine just before going to bed. The stains will be gone by morning. (Courtesy of Top Tips, Viz magazine) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunsoup Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 And whilst your jiggling about getting the water hot, you could wash your clothes at the same and be a sort of automatic washing machine. Thus saving on battery use and space for the washer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victor Vectis Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 But won't you get washerwomans wrinkles on the ends of your fingers? Keep up the good work Comrade Bizz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leggle Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 Reminds me of those dodgy tips you get in waiting room mags. Make the kids jigsaw puzzles by shredding unwanted school photos! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dor Posted January 4, 2014 Report Share Posted January 4, 2014 I'm just wondering what sort of "vigorous exercises" you were considering whilst lying back in a bath. This does rather limit the options unless you are referring to the sort of exercises I used to engage in in the bath when I was about thirteen. Err - deep breathing? press ups? back stroke? Time to go and collect my outer garments perhaps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loafer Posted January 7, 2014 Report Share Posted January 7, 2014 (edited) FATTIES: Take a tip from smokers and stop your cravings for chips by Sellotaping a crisp to the top of your arm each morning. ANGLERS: Attach a helium balloon to your line and bait the hook with an acorn. Then sit under a tree and "fish" for squirrels. An upturned laundry basket would make an ideal keep-net, but don't forget to throw the squirrels back into the tree at the end of the day. I was being chased by a police dog last week, and made the mistake of trying to escape through a little tunnel, over a see-saw and through a hoop of fire. It finally caught me as I was weaving in and out of some sticks. Viz Magazine Edited January 7, 2014 by Loafer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray T Posted January 7, 2014 Report Share Posted January 7, 2014 I think the wheezes were starting to bore folk a bit which I sensed and which caused me to lose heart a little and so the necessary special touch required was lacking so I ceased doing them. But I have lots of wheeze ideas saved up though, maybe I'll start them again, not sure. What is life without a wheeze? I cannot contemplate the thought, Like a summers day without a cooling breeze So come on Bizz do what you ought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alastair Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 Fancy a beer and don't have the energy to go to the shops? Hang on to your empty bottles and cans. Next time you are passing a bunch of scrotes, start chucking the cans and beer bottles at them. They will throw their own back, aiming directly at you. Most of their cans and bottles will be half full of beer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Machpoint005 Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 There's very little chance that the scrotes will have anything worth drinking -- certainly nothing worthy of the term 'ale'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Señor Chris Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 If you are yearning for a hot bath but have no means of heating the water to fill it with simply fill it with cold water jump in it and remain there eating hot meals whilst doing vigorous excercises to keep warm. If you prefer a jakoozy, eat nothing but baked beans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MtB Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 My fave Viz Top Tip: If your child has swallowed an ice cube and is suffocating, simply boil the kettle and pour the boiling water down it's throat. The ice cube will vanish almost immediately. MtB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boathunter Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 My favourite: Save ££££'s on a personalised number plate by simply changing your name by deed pole to match your car registration number! Yours, Mr M856JXK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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