Big Balls

[___]

As I was skirting the lower slopes of Mount Jud this morning I passed a boat going the opposite direction skippered by a man with an enormous pair of balls.

 

I’m taking about those fenders that folk hang off the side of their stern when moored to stop anyone bashing their rudder (I guess that’s what they are for).

 

This fella had two - presumably one for the bow as well - and they were gigantic, maybe 3’ plus in diameter and stowed on his roof while he was underway. As I looked back they were clearly on a level with with head so not only would they have filled his natural line of sight he wouldn’t have been able to see the cut directly in front of his boat.

 

Being a polite kind of guy I  exchanged a friendly greeting. Of course I should have said “Sir, your enormous balls are ridiculous”.

 

I’ve never really understood the need for those things. What do others think?

 

JP

[rusty69]

2 minutes ago, Captain Pegg said:

I’ve never really understood the need for those things. What do others think?

I've got big balls, but not quite that big!

[Alan de Enfield]

I have 2 off 3 foot diameter ball fenders and 4 off 30" x 12" 'sausage' fenders, they are used for :

 

1) Springing of harbour walls.

2) To bridge the gaps in the 'corrugated' pilings where normal 12" fenders 'fall in' the gaps.

3) The long fenders can be used 'sideways' to straddle the corrugations on pilings, or vertically as 'normal'.

4) Protect the bow/stern when breasted up (we are a boat shape with a pointy bow)

 

They are stored inside the Pulpit & Pushpit rails.

[Machpoint005]

I have a cricket ball in my right hand, and a cricket ball in my left hand. What have I got?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A bloody great cricket.

[___]

12 minutes ago, Alan de Enfield said:

I have 2 off 3 foot diameter ball fenders and 4 off 30" x 12" 'sausage' fenders, they are used for :

 

1) Springing of harbour walls.

2) To bridge the gaps in the 'corrugated' pilings where normal 12" fenders 'fall in' the gaps.

3) The long fenders can be used 'sideways' to straddle the corrugations on pilings, or vertically as 'normal'.

4) Protect the bow/stern when breasted up (we are a boat shape with a pointy bow)

 

They are stored inside the Pulpit & Pushpit rails.

Good for you; however this was a narrow boat on a canal. Did you need big balls when you were on the canals?

 

JP

[Alan de Enfield]

1 minute ago, Captain Pegg said:

............however this was a narrow boat on a canal. Did you need big balls when you were on the canals?

Fair enough - lack of information in the original post.

 

No - on the NB we used wheelbarrow wheels where required.

[___]

25 minutes ago, rusty69 said:

I've got big balls, but not quite that big!

 But you’re a lady; aren’t you?

[rusty69]

1 minute ago, Captain Pegg said:

 But you’re a lady; aren’t you?

Erm, Oh,yes.....I forgot!

[Sea Dog]

I tried to answer this without accidental double entendre, but found it practically impossible. However, similar but much smaller ones, like wot I have got, do come in handy when the bank side is uneven or in some other odd situations.  You already know that, JP, but the need for 3' or larger size ones on a narrowboat escapes me also.

[Sir Nibble]

I was returning cross channel under sail when a dull concussive thud was heard. A shin up the mast revealed a ship stationary in the water ahead. As we closed the name "Sinbad" could be read on the ships side and presently a signal was hoisted to her masthead to the comment of one of the crew that "Sinbad has two black balls". This is the signal for "my vessel is not under command". "Sinbad has two black balls" of course has passed into legend.

[___]

1 hour ago, Sea Dog said:

I tried to answer this without accidental double entendre, but found it practically impossible. However, similar but much smaller ones, like wot I have got, do come in handy when the bank side is uneven or in some other odd situations.  You already know that, JP, but the need for 3' or larger size ones on a narrowboat escapes me also.

I’ve only seen them deployed on the off side as a kind of shiny boaters’ protection against hireists. I have big (fake) rope fenders to use against the bank. These are particularly necessary for a boat with low gunwales to prevent them getting stuck under walings and the like. A ball might be quite effective at doing that.

 

JP

Edited October 29, 2018 by Captain Pegg

[cereal tiller]

22 minutes ago, Captain Pegg said:

I’ve only seen them deployed on the off side as a kind of shiny boaters’ protection against hireists. I have big (fake) rope fenders to use against the bank. These are particularly necessary for a boat with low gunwales to prevent them getting stuck under walings and the like. A ball might be quite effective at doing that.

 

JP

I regularly Deploy 2 30'' ones, great for Shallow moorings and irregular Banks.

 We mainly Boat on the Upper Thames.

Edited October 29, 2018 by cereal tiller

[rusty69]

21 minutes ago, cereal tiller said:

I regularly Deploy 2 30'' ones, great for Shallow moorings and irregular Banks.

 We mainly Boat on the Upper Thames.

230", that's huge! 

[Dr Bob]

4 hours ago, Alan de Enfield said:

They are stored inside the Pulpit & Pushpit rails.

I havent got a Pulpit or Pushpit anymore ......or a 100sqM mainsail (thank God).

1 hour ago, cereal tiller said:

 ............. and irregular Banks.

 

I think mine is a regular bank.

[Alan de Enfield]

1 hour ago, Dr Bob said:

or a 100sqM mainsail (thank God).

That's a good size.

 

We are :

 

Mainsail 47 sqM

Genoa 30 sqM

Spinnaker 85sqM

[Naughty Cal]

NC came with a pair of big balls. We took them off and they are now hung on our home mooring out of the way. 

 

Never really found them to be of any use.

[Sea Dog]

And as we slowly drift out to sea... I used to like those big Yokohama fenders when serving in anything over a few thousand tonnes.

 

 

[X Alan W]

14 hours ago, Captain Pegg said:

As I was skirting the lower slopes of Mount Jud this morning I passed a boat going the opposite direction skippered by a man with an enormous pair of balls.

 

I’m taking about those fenders that folk hang off the side of their stern when moored to stop anyone bashing their rudder (I guess that’s what they are for).

 

This fella had two - presumably one for the bow as well - and they were gigantic, maybe 3’ plus in diameter and stowed on his roof while he was underway. As I looked back they were clearly on a level with with head so not only would they have filled his natural line of sight he wouldn’t have been able to see the cut directly in front of his boat.

 

Being a polite kind of guy I  exchanged a friendly greeting. Of course I should have said “Sir, your enormous balls are ridiculous”.

 

I’ve never really understood the need for those things. What do others think?

 

JP

I can never understand why leisure NB's are constructed with guard irons if owners want to festoon their boats with fenders why not do away with Gi's & save money  or better still only allow fenders other than bow/stearn to be used when moored .

[howardang]

20 minutes ago, Sea Dog said:

And as we slowly drift out to sea... I used to like those big Yokohama fenders when serving in anything over a few thousand tonnes.

 

 

Here are some I have spare if you're interested?!

 

Howard

 

[Horace42]

16 hours ago, Machpoint005 said:

I have a cricket ball in my right hand, and a cricket ball in my left hand. What have I got?

 

A bloody great cricket.

.....I guess... a sticky wicket  ??

[ditchcrawler]

This cruiser had big balls and sausages

[___]

So it seems ball fenders are an item that found their way from boating on unpredictable waters onto the canals. There are a few things like that and generally they seem a bit unnecessary on canals.

 

I passed a boat at the weekend that was displaying navigation lights on the canal. I wasn’t struggling to see him in the early afternoon or to know which side I should pass.

 

However I did sound the correct signal when approaching Fazeley Junction yesterday. I suspect it was lost on the teenager who was spinning around in an inflatable kid’s dinghy in the middle of junction while grinning inanely at me. I made an appropriate hand gesture and carried on regardless.

 

JP

[Dr Bob]

11 minutes ago, Captain Pegg said:

So it seems ball fenders are an item that found their way from boating on unpredictable waters onto the canals. There are a few things like that and generally they seem a bit unnecessary on canals.

 

I passed a boat at the weekend that was displaying navigation lights on the canal. I wasn’t struggling to see him in the early afternoon or to know which side I should pass.

 

 

 

JP

I agree, but it would be useful if NBs had a white light at the stern so you can see where they are when you are following them in a tunnel. I always put my nav lights on in a tunnel but I guess only the white rear facing one can be seen.

[rusty69]

6 minutes ago, Dr Bob said:

I agree, but it would be useful if NBs had a white light at the stern so you can see where they are when you are following them in a tunnel. I always put my nav lights on in a tunnel but I guess only the white rear facing one can be seen.

Expect they can see your loom you loon

[Dr Bob]

3 minutes ago, rusty69 said:

Expect they can see your loom you loon

The loom doesnt glow in the gloom.