STINKS.

[bizzard]

Many different stinks, smells, pongs, aromas and stenches emit from boats, especially from live aboard boats. These can be very wide ranging and varied, from pleasant, fragrant and flowery aromas through the usual household smells of cooking and damp washing to the foul, nauseating, utterly, totally unbearably terrible retching stenches.

To locate, sniff out and determine the origin of these stinks here is the descriptions and usually the reasons and possible cures for such stinks.

 

The distinkt pong of cats pee= Spilt or leaking Hypoy gear oil, or the cat has had a wee. Solution=Wipe it or lick it up.

The quite pleasant aroma of almonds= An open and forgotten bag of Amaretto biscuits, spilt bag of almonds, spilt or leaking Hi-press gear oil, almond smelling aromatic candle still alight. Solution=If you like it leave it, blow out the candle.

Sour and horrid stink= unnoticed spilt milk amongst other things. Solution= Very difficult to eradicate. Steam clean recommended.

Musty and stale smell= dried up spilt beer. Solution= If you enjoy 'the pub smell' leave it be.

Foul retching stink emitting from floor mats which pong pervades the whole boat and the entire enviroment for miles around = Feet!! folk with foul smelling feet walking about in socks or bare feet. Solution= Chop feet off with a big cleaver. burn socks, shake 'n' vac will make no impression on the mats whatsoever, burn em, fumigation is useless, abandon ship and sell it to a chain smoker with no sense of smell.

Rotting flesh stink= Dead mouse or rat behind the fridge or in the bilge. Solution= convert it into pate and spread it on toast for supper.

These are just a few of the stinks that may be found on boats. Notice, toilet stinks have gone unmentioned, ''unlike me I know'' but I think that that subject has already been dealt with in great nauseous depth.

 

 

[RLWP]

 

 

When you're working in the dark.... Down below,

Underneath St James's park ... Down below,

When you're working in the dark, oh it isn't half a lark,

When you're working in the dark .... Down below,

 

It isn't hard to tell .... Down Below,

If it's Bow or Clerkenwell .... Down below

For Bow and Clerkenwell have a different sort of smell,

And we know them very well .... Down below,

 

Richard

[patty-ann]

What a lovely image your descriptions conjure..thank you Mr Bizzard..

Regards

Patty

[BruceinSanity]

Richard

Thank you for that ear worm, Richard, just as I'm well down the first glass of Shiraz...

 

My parents had that on a Peter Sellers EP along with Goodness gracious me, Grandpa's grave and Bangers and Mash.

[Drayke]

Keep em coming Bizzard

[bizzard]

Keep em coming Bizzard

What, more stinks?

[bizzard]

What, more stinks?

There are a few stinks that you may not be able to sniff out...... because those stinks actually exude from you, denial is useless, especially at dinner parties

[David Mack]

There are a few stinks that you may not be able to sniff out...... because those stinks actually exude from you, denial is useless, especially at dinner parties

To be sung as a round:

 

I sat next to the Duchess at tea.

It was just as I thought it would be.

Her rumblings abdominal were simply phenominal

And everyone thought it was me!

[boat fan]

There are a few stinks that you may not be able to sniff out...... because those stinks actually exude from you, denial is useless, especially at dinner parties

 

 

You are a funny man Mr Bizzard ,

 

Very descriptive , and much fodder for a lively imagination.

[Phil Ambrose]

There are a few stinks that you may not be able to sniff out...... because those stinks actually exude from you, denial is useless, especially at dinner parties

A good reason for having a dog, a scapegoat no less.

Phil

[Theo]

Thank you for that ear worm, Richard, just as I'm well down the first glass of Shiraz...

 

My parents had that on a Peter Sellers EP along with Goodness gracious me, Grandpa's grave and Bangers and Mash.

 

Was the visit to the dying man at Charters on that record? The quote that I part remember involved a basket covered by a snowy white linen cloth containing potato peelings, bacon rinds all other delicious nutritions kitchen scraps."

 

N

[BruceinSanity]

Was the visit to the dying man at Charters on that record? The quote that I part remember involved a basket covered by a snowy white linen cloth containing potato peelings, bacon rinds all other delicious nutritions kitchen scraps."

 

N

Not heard that one. It was a four track EP, two on each side.

[Theo]

Come to think of it. It was on an LP.

 

N

[Bloomsberry]

An end mooring came available recently and as I was at the top of the waiting list managed to get it. However , the mooring is opposite some reeds where the marina cats like to hang out and the smell of cat pee is quite frequent. Keeping the windows shut on that side of the boat cures it but it's not a great situation.

[RLWP]

Come to think of it. It was on an LP.

 

N

 

Clearly a different one to 'Balham, gateway to the South'

 

Richard

[Pennie]

My current stink is, I think, from the fridge. I haven't quite learnt the balance of keeping power when moored for a few days without mooring on days without full sun. Some nights I think I don't have enough power.to keep the fridge (especially the freezer bit) ticking over and it leaks. That water pools somewhere (haven't located the exact point of stink and damp) and is producing a smell similar to a washing machine that has been left with water stagnating for some time with the door closed.

 

Makes my loo smell delightful in comparison

[Guest]

My current stink is, I think, from the fridge. I haven't quite learnt the balance of keeping power when moored for a few days without mooring on days without full sun. Some nights I think I don't have enough power.to keep the fridge (especially the freezer bit) ticking over and it leaks. That water pools somewhere (haven't located the exact point of stink and damp) and is producing a smell similar to a washing machine that has been left with water stagnating for some time with the door closed.

 

Makes my loo smell delightful in comparison

Our home fridge has a pipe from a trough inside at the bottom. The outlet gets blocked sometimes and this can lead to a stagnant water smell.

[Pennie]

This wacco just has a hole at the back but strangely the water isn't coming from there as I put a paper towel in the hole for a few days and it was bone dry. I'm sure I will work it out

[RLWP]

Our home fridge has a pipe from a trough inside at the bottom. The outlet gets blocked sometimes and this can lead to a stagnant water smell.

 

That often leads to a tray sitting on top of the motor, where the waste heat evaporates the water. Neat, huh!

 

Richard

[magnetman]

I keep a cable tie in the fridge for occasional poking of the drain hole. Pretty sure it was originally a tip on this forum

 

 

It's a 4.8mm cable tie I think it's 150mm long just so it reaches right through the hole. I have explained it to the woman on board and it has been accepted as reasonable

 

Typos

 

Apparently said drain hole exhausts above the compressor which is hot while running so the water evaporates immediately. That's if the fridge is running and has not cut out due to low voltage.

(Cross Posted with RLWP)

Edited June 15, 2016 by magnetman

[magnetman]

This wacco just has a hole at the back but strangely the water isn't coming from there as I put a paper towel in the hole for a few days and it was bone dry. I'm sure I will work it out

Where is the water coming from?

Maybe if its out of bottom of the door the fridge is not levelled properly.

 

I can hear if my fridge is unsuccessfully attempting to start due to low voltage - squeaks a bit then stops then tries again a bit later on. Its a Danfoss compressor driven unit. I don't know if Waeco are the same though.

[Pennie]

I am thinking it maybe coming frothed front rather than the back. My next experiment it to empty the fridge and turn it off just to confirm it is the fridge kicking off the stink

[bizzard]

Talking of stinks, launderettes!!!! Take my tip and never use their washing machines as you just don't know what folk have been putting in em, all sorts of horrible stinky garments, foul smelling soiled under pants and knickers, sweat laden shirts and vests, used nappies, baby clothes laden with sick, bed wetters bed sheets, dandruffy pillow cases and as for towels and socks! yuk!!!. avoid Typhoid at all costs and keep well clear. I wouldn't use a launderette for all the Persil in Tescos.

[patty-ann]

Well i have to use a launderette and I've seen some sights and smelt some smells....

you are right Mr Bizzard but needs must an all that..I just try not to think to deeply about origins

[bizzard]

Well i have to use a launderette and I've seen some sights and smelt some smells....

you are right Mr Bizzard but needs must an all that..I just try not to think to deeply about origins

Oh, how awful for you patty-ann, I bet you have. I do my washing in the sink with a homemade rubbing board.