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Member Since 06 Jul 2011
Offline Last Active May 25 2015 11:03 PM

Topics I've Started

Thats it folks, I'm off.

23 May 2015 - 11:09 PM

   To bed. smile.png

Catherine wheels.

21 April 2015 - 09:41 AM

A superb mobile quadruple Catherine wheel can be made with a petrol engined car. Simply by fitting a hose adapter into a spark plug hole after removing a spark plug. And then let all yer tyres down by jambing the tyre valves open with matchsticks. Remove matchsticks.  Connect the hose to all four tyre valves with Tee pieces, start your engine up to blow all the tyres up again,'nice and hard' using the engines cylinder compression. This will fill the tyres up with a lovely combustible petroleum gas mixture. Now get ready and work quickly. Remove hoses from tyre valves and engine and store in the boot.  Jamb all four tyre valves open again. Strike a match and run around sharpish, lighting the petrol fumes emitting from the valves. Nice steady whooshing flames should come bursting into life, like blow lamps. Jump in the car and drive about at high speed for the full beautiful Catherine wheel effect until the tyres go flat. Reconnect the inflation hoses again to reinflate your tyres to get you home.

   For the ultimate dramatic effect this little bit of fun is best performed at night whilst driving up and down outside your local police station.

  Funnily enough, the engine to tyre valve inflation hose and adapters was a fairly common kit and was supplied with some ancient vintage cars. closedeyes.gif

Hot foot

03 April 2015 - 09:51 PM

For those of you who suffer from cold tootsies here is a quite simple and cheap sole-ution.

Take your favourite slippers for example, these or any other boots and shoes can easily be adapted.


 Electric iron heating elements are the thing to use. 12v ones will afford you better mobility than AC mains ones.

 These elements are usually constructed with elements trapped between two bits of Mica so all will be nice and safe.

      So whichever type of elements you choose just trim around them with scissors to fit into your footwear of choice and make holes at the back of the heels for the electrical wires to poke through and connect them to little plug sockets, these plugs and sockets can be bought at electrical shops like Maplins, just explain what you want them for to ensure you get ones suitable. The connection plug pairs of wires can be joint into one ensuring that enough slack is provided to suit your stride and then either a 13amp plug for mains power or a couple of crocodile clips for 12v can be stuck on the other end. The irons temperature control rheostat switch can be incorporated in these wires, ideally within reach strapped to the leg just above the knee would be ideal.

  To be fully mobile the 12v version is the best choice as say a nice big 135amp battery can be carried to power your foot heaters, either carried upon your back on a mountaineers frame or in front of you on a tray hung from a strap around the neck, just like the ice cream lady at the pictures.  Can also be fitted with a fag lighter plug for use in the car too.

  Before using the mains powered foot warmers I suggest going barefoot for long country rambles over lots of stony ground, this will harden the soles of the feet and should insulate them from possible electric shocks, don't forget to put an appropriate fuse in the plug.

  I have a feeling I might have done this wheeze before a couple of years ago. Anyhow, it's done now, so there you have it  ''warm cheesy feet''.  wacko.png

Wheeeeze. Heavy breathing and condensation.

18 March 2015 - 02:18 PM

Condensation on boats can be largely due to all the moisture exhaled whilst breathing. Two quite simple solutions for this are as follows.

  Snorkels. These can be got with extra long tubes which by punching holes in strategically placed positions in your roof say above your favorite chairs and bed for the snorkel tubes to be poked through. You can then stick the instrument's mouthpiece in yer gob and exhale to the outside to you're heart's content all that breathy moisture.

      The second method is more simple, but requires some electrical power and makes a rotten noise. The wet'n'dry vacuum cleaner of ''Henry'' fame will if a flexible sucking tube nozzle is chosen carefully that suits your lips embouchure will happily suck all the steamy breath out of you. I would advise wearing ear muffs with this method though.

  Hope this helps. closedeyes.gif

One for the ladies.

28 February 2015 - 10:13 PM

Quite simple really. I don't know why I haven't thought of it before. Perhaps its because I'm not a lady.

Any old how ladies here we go.

 Use old out of date discarded fire extinguishers to powder your faces, they should have powder in em, powders powder init.  Just a little squirt is all that's needed, but better protect your eyes with motorcycle goggles. Just a little squirt on the nose and cheeks and rub it around a bit with something. Your face and indeed all of you if you squirt it all over will make you fire resistant, which is good and would please any BSS inspector especially chaps like Jonah Rob or the Radio mariner.

  The usual size would rest inside a largish handbag nicely. So throw away those old powder puff compacts and bring yourselves up to date with the state of the art. I Kidde you not. unsure.png