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Member Since 06 Jul 2011
Offline Last Active Yesterday, 03:59 PM

Topics I've Started

Tip of the week.

08 September 2014 - 10:11 AM

Uttlesford borough council recycling centre tip Dunmow rd  B.Stortford is too far from the bloomin river. So don't bother with it unless you have a vehicle. closedeyes.gif

Tip of the week.

03 September 2014 - 12:15 PM

For those of you who worry about having your boat stolen. If you leave your ship unattended whilst off shopping or in the pub ect ect, either take your lock windlasses with you or hide them somewhere secret.Burying them on the bankside away from your boat is good, dig em up on your way back.  Your boat won't go any further than the next lock either way unless of course some goon or other locks it through or the thief has the brains to bring along their own windlass, (fairly unlikely). closedeyes.gif

Wheeze. Jaws.

13 August 2014 - 02:36 PM

Not sure if I've done this one before.unsure.png But anyway here goes. For anyone who is handy and or bored with nothin else to do.

A shark or indeed a submarine can be simply made out of an old pop bottle and a few bits and bobs. like so;-

 For a shark make a nice dorsal fin out of a bit of cardboard, paint it black and glue it onto about the middle of the bottle.

 The bath in your barthroom or a deep puddle can be put to use for the careful ballasting of the shark. Pour a little say cement into the bottle, just enough to keep the fin stably upright and to prevent it capsizing. when its set hard fill the bottle with water until it floats just below the surface with the fin sticking out, this is a very fine adjustment to get it right and anyone wanting to take a bath may have a long wait. Screw the top back on firmly.

  Once ballasted with water as above make out of two bits of cardboard a pair of little hydroplanes and stick them on the sharks flanks angled down very slightly for forward direction submerging. If submarines are your thing just swop the dorsal fin for a conning tower and gun and paint it grey.

  The big test;-   Take your shark down to your boat and attach a long bit of string to its neck end and tie off the other to your stern dolly.

   Now get under way and on tick over launch your shark/submarine gently over the stern paying out the string. When your boat has taken up the tow a steady V wave from your evil looking sharks fin or conning tower should be visible that follows implicitly every twist and turn you make.  Speed up and its little hydroplanes if set carefully will cause it to dive, or the submarine to DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!!!. For those with a Klaxon hooter like me can signal the submarines dive.  Slow your boat down again and the shark/sub will pop up and surface again. Do this again and again and again and again and again and again and again. You and everyone will be fascinated.  mellow.png

Tip. Super cooling.

23 July 2014 - 07:30 AM

Quite simple folks. A quick coolie in hot weather.

  You can direct from a desk type cooling fan a very powerful jet of super cool air at your face by fixing with say  Meccano strips to the fans guard a large road traffic cone, fix the large bell end of the cone to the fans guard with its small other end-nozzle aimed at you.

  By lighting a little fire behind the fan an excellent and powerful hot hair drier can also be had. closedeyes.gif

How to make a rain hat.

05 July 2014 - 08:40 PM


  To make a Cloakhat its best if you read the instructions in the other (How to make a sun hat) Topic. This will save me the dreadful fag of repeating it all over again, but I will gladly do so if demand becomes overwhelming. So lets get on with the job.

   To make a rain or Cloakhat we use the stiffer hat of the two, the one with the circular wire reinforcement. The next step is to really go to town with further weatherproofing because you never know what the elements might throw at you these days, you may suddenly whilst out for an evening stroll or steering your boat along be bombarded by multiple thunderbolts, hailstones as big as footballs, or even have to undergo a red hot meteor shower  or even fierce meteorite bombardments from out of the heavens. So to keep you all snug and safe I suggest the following.

  Place your stiff sun hat on the table. Then nip out to the builders yard and buy a small bag of cement and bag of shingles, be careful of the latter as I believe they're contageous.

     Now get to work by mixing up a runny cement mix and screed your sun hat all over externally with it. Whilst the cement is nice and soft and by using your stoves little coal shovel filled with a load of shingles begin with smart flourishes of the hand to splatter your hat heavily to pebble dash it. If you've flung the pebbles on with all your might they should stay put, stuck and well embedded. Put it aside to dry. Your sun hat is now capable of enduring the very worst of what nature can throw at it.

 We must now carry out the final part of the operation. To adapt the Sunhat into the all weather (Cloakhat).

  From a caravan shop buy a length of small section neat and flexible curtain track, a handful of Swish curtain hooks and hangers and from a bath shop of warehouse a good quality shower curtain.

  Make a circle of curtain track and stick it under your hats rims outer periphery. To this track slide on the Swish curtain slides and to the shower curtain the curly shaped Swish hooks

  Now for the dress rehearsal. In front of a mirror don your Rain hat, give a twirl and admire.  Now comes the full conversion.   Hook up and onto the hat rim track the shower curtain and with a sweeping flourish draw it snugly around yourself and admire, Voila!   The Cloakhat.

    So that you can see where your going with the hatcloak completely enveloping you two eye holes ''in the right place'' need to be made. This is best performed with a red hot poker and by poking it through and wiggling it about to make them eye shaped it will also scorch the holes surrounds with a reinforced brown border.

  So out into the very worst of weathers you can now safely troop, in the knowledge that your wonderful Cloakhat will protect you. smile.png  Cheerybye.