Good ol' fashioned canal rage

[Chris Pink]

Oh it does make me laugh.

 

There's a lock coming up, never been here before, by the look of the hire boats waiting, it's just round the bend. I'm going to stop for lunch and let the queue clear but let's just see what's round the bend. Plenty of room to turn round if there's nowhere to moor.

 

Round the bend and there's a right shady little spot, perfect. Right up by the lock. No-one moored there. I see if I get the boat in I'll be under the tree and can watch the fun and games while I have a leisurely lunch.

 

So there I am, pootling along on tickover, and I hear "OY" someone behind my left ear.

 

Now anyone who knows me even a little will know I answer to my name, or any polite form of address, I have never and will never answer to "OY".

 

So, ignore. carry on. "OY", "OY".

 

Anyway I get to my intended spot, stop, neatly because there's an audience. And geezer arrives, still shouting, "monsieur" this time but shouting "You can't moor there, we're all waiting".

 

"I know" I say, quietly, "and I don't respond to "OY" (Actually now I given you a clue it was more of a "euh" than an "oy" but the meaning was clear. He was obviously asking his dog to desist at smelling a lady's arse or somesuch.

 

So he repeats himself, a little louder, because I obviously am mooring there, my ropes are off, I'm off - it's a clue "You can't moor there, we're all waiting". I say in my best French (not that good really but I try) "Oui, monsieur, je ne suis pas stupide". He's been talking in English all this time..... and he repeats himself "you can't moor there" (a little louder, the English are obviously deaf as well as stupid) so I say again, in english this time (the french usually understand my english better than my french) "monsieur, I am not stupid" and pojnt out again that I never answer to 'heu" or "oy" - my french had not been really equal to this challenge - so this time he says, in English, "This is France,we talk in french".

 

I am quite obviously straining not to laugh.

 

So I say, "d'accord, nous parlons Francais" and he says, in English "You can't moor there we're all waiting" at which I told him in my best French that I didn't understand his french and he was being very rude. That my friends say the french are rude but I don't agree.

 

At which point he stomps off to complain with someone else "au revoir M Grossier" I say, as I believe in politeness.

 

An Australian woman comes up at this point and starts to explain, in English, that he was worried I was jumping the queue. I told her a. I'd gathered that b. I don't do being shouted at. So she says, "let's start again" I say "Ok, hello, my names Chris" - turns out she's Susan and I say, as the lock is shut for lunch I'm going to stop under this lovely shady tree and have a french lunch and watch them all go up the lock. We parted on very good terms.

 

I also had to apologise to a scotsman because I didn't understand him (o these language issues) and I settled down in the shade and had lunch.

 

All the queueing boats got to go up the lock. I am childishly glad to report that M Grossier was also Mr Incompetent, big style. I watched a bit of French holiday sunday hire boating (much like the English version) and went up the lock in turn.

 

Ironically I would have been at the lock before all of them but by chance and stopping to help someone start his engine - I discovered someone who didn't buy my boat because it was for sale for €100,000 -so we had a great laugh and I have a new French friend.

 

So it's not just Braunston Pickle on a Sunday or Bradford Lock on Easter Monday. It happens on the Canal du Midi too.

Edited July 7, 2013 by Chris Pink

[RickH]

You''re in France ? No wonder its quiet on the Kennet !

 

Wich bit of the Midi are you at ?

[Chagall]

Oh… Titter … Titter… I idly wondered, after reading you're carefully crafted story, if you might perhaps have been aware that your Oh so legitimate lunch time manoeuvre could have caused a few to be concerned about that very British concept of queue jumping. The "Oy" was possibly even anticipated so that you could in true Mr Pink oratory fashion deny such devilishly underhand behaviour, and be so amused at a possible furore of misunderstanding.

It's so easy to set up a rage isn't it. Well done.

I hope you are enjoying being a Brit in France.

[Chris Pink]

Well perhaps a little but it was a very nice tree and I would have gone a long way back to find such nice shade. (which I reckon was what was making M Grossier so grumpy, being in 35° heat with no shade and the ecluse shut for lunch)

 

And yes, I was aware of the potential for interpretation but that's not really my problem.

 

I always thought it was the french that had no respect for queues. The english in the queue didn't seem to have a problem - or maybe they were sitting there seething waiting for someone else to have a go.

 

le tease? Moi? mais non, je suis le petit chat.

[BlueStringPudding]

je suis le petit chat.

 

Don't be so hard on yourself

[smileypete]

Sometimes it's a good idea to communicate with your fellow human beings...

 

Even if they're not likely to be as good mannered or skilled at boating as your esteemed self.

 

We are not all gifted psychics y'know...

 

cheers, Pete.

~smpt~

[DHutch]

Well perhaps a little but it was a very nice tree ...

Sounds reasonable to me!

[johnmck]

Why worry, be happy........

 

(Say's he after a good pub lunch and watching a brilliant Wimbledon men's final)

Edited July 7, 2013 by johnmck

[beerbeerbeerbeerbeer]

Well perhaps a little but it was a very nice tree and I would have gone a long way back to find such nice shade. (which I reckon was what was making M Grossier so grumpy, being in 35° heat with no shade and the ecluse shut for lunch)

 

And yes, I was aware of the potential for interpretation but that's not really my problem.

 

I always thought it was the french that had no respect for queues. The english in the queue didn't seem to have a problem - or maybe they were sitting there seething waiting for someone else to have a go.

 

le tease? Moi? mais non, je suis le petit chat.

 

Enjoy Monsieur Rose.

Have a vertie, for being there.

 

Glenn

[nicknorman]

A Frenchman once told me that when queue jumping occurrs and the jumper is accosted, the correct response is "yes Monsieur, you were first, but now I am first" to which there is not really an answer. I'm keeping that one in reserve...

[Barry]

Chris I'm wondering why you didn't say early on "I'm stopping for my lunch, please go past me"

[Chris Pink]

I told you Mr B. I don't respond to "OY", never have, never will.

 

Do you?

[nicknorman]

I told you Mr B. I don't respond to "OY", never have, never will.

 

Do you?

Lucky you dont share paternal lineage with Chris Hoy!

[Barry]

Ah. Bloody mindedness then

[Chris Pink]

If that's what you want to call it, fine. Just don't ever call me "Oy" if you expect to get my attention.

 

But if you're happy to answer to it that's also fine by me.

I will also point out, seeing as you are determined to have a go (again), that the name of my boat is signwritten in three places so if he had wanted to be polite it was entirely possible.

[Barry]

Not having a go. Just pointing out that it takes two to make a row.

 

He wound you up, you wound him up in return.

 

It seems to me that a simple statement as I suggested would have defused the situation pretty quickly but you weren't interested so you were as complicit in the canal rage as he was

[Chris Pink]

Fine. If I see you out on the cut (La Toc, easy to remember) instead of hailing you conventionally and with courtesy. I'll shout "oy" at you and see how you react.

 

You are just arguing for the sake of it. You certainly would not react favourably.

 

I'll ask you again. If you're hailed would you prefer to be hailed "La Toc, ahoy" or somesuch, or even just "ahoy" or "OY"?

Edited July 7, 2013 by Chris Pink

[twbm]

Anyone know the French for 'agent provocateur'?

Fine. If I see you out on the cut (La Toc, easy to remember) instead of hailing you conventionally and with courtesy. I'll shout "oy" at you and see how you react.

 

You are just arguing for the sake of it. You certainly would not react favourably.

 

Please sir what is the conventional courteous way of hailing?

[Chris Pink]

Is that why your boats have such a bad reputation? Because you don't know the courteous way to hail another boat?

[Barry]

Fine. If I see you out on the cut (La Toc, easy to remember) instead of hailing you conventionally and with courtesy. I'll shout "oy" at you and see how you react.

 

You are just arguing for the sake of it. You certainly would not react favourably.

 

I'll ask you again. If you're hailed would you prefer to be hailed "La Toc, ahoy" or somesuch, or even just "ahoy" or "OY"?

 

I'm not you Chris so I don't see how you can presume how I would, or would not react.

 

I would deal with it my own way

 

Attract my attention how you like. I'll turn and see what you want

[MtB]

How would you have liked him to address you, given he didn't know your name, and was a Frenchman??

 

MtB

 

 

P.S. I once knew a bloke with a dog named Oy.

 

"Oy, come 'ere" often rang out across the water

[smileypete]

I told you Mr B. I don't respond to "OY", never have, never will.

 

Do you?

 

So, heading down an unfamiliar river at night with a bit of flow on, you're heading unknowingly into strong weir flow instead of toward the lock.

 

Some boater rightly concerned for your safety shouts Oy! Oy! OY! OY! OOOOYYYY!!!

 

So what do you do, clever clogs?

 

Really Chris gloating over your childish behaviour is letting the side down , you make Hudson owners look like paragons of virtue

 

cheers, Pete.

[Jerra]

I am puzzled as to why you should be upset by somebody expressing annoyance or dismay. Oy is I understand am abbreviation of the yiddish Oy Vey used to express annoyance or exasperation. You appear to seem to treat it as a personal address term equivalent to many other colloquial derogatory terms.

[Chris Pink]

If that's you best way of telling somebody they are standing into danger then your communication skills in the real world are a lot worse than they are on here.

 

 

So, heading down an unfamiliar river at night with a bit of flow on, you're heading unknowingly into strong weir flow instead of toward the lock.

 

Some boater rightly concerned for your safety shouts Oy! Oy! OY! OY! OOOOYYYY!!!

 

So what do you do, clever clogs?

 

Really Chris gloating over your childish behaviour is letting the side down , you make Hudson owners look like paragons of virtue

 

cheers, Pete.

As for your other point. If someone, in front of another 6 boats wants to have a go at me then I will choose the time and place. And that was once I was moored up. Three people spoke to me after that, only one was confrontational, the other two were happy to have a normal conversation.

 

As I say, I don't respond to "OY' and I never will.

 

(although I have thought of one exception "OY, you get orf of my land" emphasised with a shotgun ;-)

How would you have liked him to address you, given he didn't know your name, and was a Frenchman??

 

 

He could come and speak to me as others did. He could call the name of my boat (as you do).

 

So you're another I can come up you and go "OY" and you'll respond positively. yeah right.

[Grace and Favour]

Well perhaps a little but it was a very nice tree and I would have gone a long way back to find such nice shade. (which I reckon was what was making M Grossier so grumpy, being in 35° heat with no shade and the ecluse shut for lunch)

 

And yes, I was aware of the potential for interpretation but that's not really my problem.

 

I always thought it was the french that had no respect for queues. The english in the queue didn't seem to have a problem - or maybe they were sitting there seething waiting for someone else to have a go.

 

le tease? Moi? mais non, je suis le petit chat.

I think 'chatte' may be the word you seek?