Random people stepping on your boat? Two in one evening

[Terence]

I've never had anyone step onto our boat without being invited first, but embarrassingly, I once climbed aboard the wrong boat. We had hired from Middlewich Narrowboats moored up for the evening and went for a short walk, whilst gone another Middlewich boat had moored next to us and without a thought I climbed aboard to be confronted by an elderly couple having tea. They forgave me.

[Neil TNC]

We once had a young couple on the roof of N Bear Nest while moored at Castle Gardens VM in Leicester....from the noise we could only assume they were having sex.....we let them finish, then let them know there was someone on board...they then scarpered pretty quick.

One morning we had an early start from Leamington VM...only to find there was some hobo asleep on the roof, so we just carried on!...after giving him a cuppa, he departed at Warwick.

In Ireland we often get tourists wandering around the decks of Barge Maurice A, getting friends taking pictures of them on a jolly "Irish Barge".

[Chalky]

I nearly had an unexpected visitor on the roof as we were leaving Banbury a couple of years ago. Heading north just after Tom Rolt bridge there are a couple of pillars for a bridge that's no longer there. On one side was a youngster on his BMX - all of his mates were on the other side... Anticipating his thoughts I re-arranged the boat pole in a noisy and obvious way (it covers a significant length of the roof on a 40' boat). He got the message and we didn't have the visitor.

[Berengaria]

We once had a young couple on the roof of N Bear Nest while moored at Castle Gardens VM in Leicester....from the noise we could only assume they were having sex.....we let them finish, then let them know there was someone on board...they then scarpered pretty quick.

One morning we had an early start from Leamington VM...only to find there was some hobo asleep on the roof, so we just carried on!...after giving him a cuppa, he departed at Warwick.

In Ireland we often get tourists wandering around the decks of Barge Maurice A, getting friends taking pictures of them on a jolly "Irish Barge".

 

Leamington does have more than its fair share of tramps and hobos for some reason! No idea why, it's been a source of conversation for my wife and I for years...she works at the peace festival there every year and it's amazing where they all come from!

[Supertramp]

Before having my own dog, I had a couple of occasions where a four legged visitor would hop on my boat.

I now think it is something that dogs sometimes get wrong, as my border collie occasionally misses our boat completely, and thinks its fine to board the next one.

 

I've corrupted the well known phrase from a film about a dog and a policeman - "that is NOT your boat"

 

It works well, - she understands instantly!

 

(perhaps she's seen the film)

[Berengaria]

We were feeding the ducks off the stern the other day and a small brown dog happily trotted up and sat on the towpath staring at me wagging its tail. I know you're not supposed to feed other peoples dogs but she had some spare bread.

 

Then she was on the boat, so I got her some chocolate too lol. She ended up going to sleep on the battery boxes for ages next to me, it's really made me want a dog

[STUBAG]

Good post, but PLEASE never give chocolate to a dog,it can be deadly poisonous, unless it is specially made "doggy treat" chocolate.

[Berengaria]

I'm well aware of this, however this was a single white chocolate button, well within safety limits

[ditchcrawler]

Good post, but PLEASE never give chocolate to a dog,it can be deadly poisonous, unless it is specially made "doggy treat" chocolate.

Or it steels a full bar when your not looking and leaves half the paper under the table, it probably ate the other half

[Neil TNC]

Before having my own dog, I had a couple of occasions where a four legged visitor would hop on my boat.

I now think it is something that dogs sometimes get wrong, as my border collie occasionally misses our boat completely, and thinks its fine to board the next one.

 

I've corrupted the well known phrase from a film about a dog and a policeman - "that is NOT your boat"

 

It works well, - she understands instantly!

 

(perhaps she's seen the film)

Mrs TNC's new whippet, Piper (don't ask how it gots its name) thinks any boat is fair game...including one that was pulling off!...fortunately the boaters were understanding, pulled in again and it then jumped back off.

[Berengaria]

Or it steels a full bar when your not looking and leaves half the paper under the table, it probably ate the other half

 

Hahaha, she would have to know how to open a fridge first

[AidanLincs]

Hahaha, she would have to know how to open a fridge first

 

Millie, my Bedlington whippet, once managed to get into a sideboard (with a VERY stiff catch) and eat the contents of a gigantic box of Thornton's chocolates that I had purchased as a gift for someone. I still have no idea how she got into the cupboard, but she is a most single-minded lady. She was quite poorly for a few days after that, but shrugged it off eventually. She was only about 4 then; had she been older she might not have been so lucky.

 

Back on topic...

 

Moored up at Peak Forest - Ashton junction, we were alarmed to hear some loud shouting, followed by a bang at one end of the boat, and several thuds in rapid succession along the roof. I stuck my head out of the cratch in time to see one of the local gentry, large bottle of something alcoholic in his hand, jumping off the other end. He and his mates thought it was huge fun. I would have enjoyed it more if he had slipped and fallen in.

[Doodlebug]

Sex on top of a narrowboat cant be the most comfortable of places!

 

Talking of dogs, I had an adorable springer come bounding up to me on the towpath, it sat in front of me and pawed my leg, It then ran off and found the best stick it could find, which in this case was about 4mm thick. It put it by my feet and pawed again, I through the 'stick' and it bounded off only to bring me a different stick (even worse) because it lost the first.

 

We came back one day to find our springer had got into a box of fruit salad sweets. A wholesale box, i might add, with at least 500 sweets.

 

Of course, dogs arent known for their wrapper removing abilities and so she just ate as many as she could.

 

She as sick later, wrappers and all!

[Emerald]

A group of female models once stepped on board our nb, no invitation and just walked into the boat, when I challenged them they didn't say anything but pushed me onto the bed and held me down and undressed me while at the same time stripping of themselves, they forced me to have sex with them all for several hours.

Bloody cheek.

Don't you just hate it when that happens? I hope they all asked permission to cum aboard?

[Ange]

Before having my own dog, I had a couple of occasions where a four legged visitor would hop on my boat.

I now think it is something that dogs sometimes get wrong, as my border collie occasionally misses our boat completely, and thinks its fine to board the next one.

 

I've corrupted the well known phrase from a film about a dog and a policeman - "that is NOT your boat"

 

It works well, - she understands instantly!

 

(perhaps she's seen the film)

Haha I say that to our dog all the time when she looks like she's going to jump onto a boat Didn't know there was a film though - have I watched it and subconsciously corrupted it? Hmmm ...

[Jerra]

I've corrupted the well known phrase from a film about a dog and a policeman - "that is NOT your boat"

Turner and Hooch?

[Doorman]

 

We've had an over exuberant youth climb onto our roof in Lancaster once.

Sorry Ange,

 

I'm not having that, where would he stand?

 

Lol.........

 

We once had a bloke step firstly on our stern, gunwales, onto the roof then finally onto the bow!

 

I felt like having a right go at him but thought better of it, as he was painting our boat at the time..............

 

Now where did I put that coat?

[twbm]

Turner and Hooch?

 

Pink Panther I think:

 

'Does your dog bite?'

'No'

(Dog Bites)

'I thought you said your dog does not bite?'

 

'That is not my dog.'

[Doorman]

Happened to us once in central Brum, just a kid larking and she scarpered as soon as we shouted. I suspect it was a dare.

Are you certain?

 

I think that it was Nigel Moore in drag!

[Doorman]

 

No wonder many foreign tourists think the British are insular and rude.

Not half as rude as the Welsh shop keepers who speak English until an English tourist enters their shop, then it's bloody Welsh from there on in, look you, innit, there's lovely!

 

But, in part agreement, I am posting this message from a holiday complex (not Butlins) that encompasses over a thousand apartments accommodating tourists from all corners of the globe. In each apartment on the patio doors, there's a graphic instruction requesting that the occupants refrain from drying their towels over the bannister rails of the balconies.

 

Out of the thousand, there are two adjacent apartments with yes, towels draped over the bannister rails, and surprise, surprise, they are occupied by English families!

[andywatson]

A group of female models once stepped on board our nb, no invitation and just walked into the boat, when I challenged them they didn't say anything but pushed me onto the bed and held me down and undressed me while at the same time stripping of themselves, they forced me to have sex with them all for several hours.

 

Bloody cheek.

I hope you made sure that the ones not "actively engaged" were busy doing a bit of cleaning and brass polishing whilst waiting their turn.

Edited May 11, 2013 by andywatson

[Doorman]

Yes it does. I have a cruiser stern deck and people think its okay to step on, feed the ducks, watch the water, cuddle up with their partner, and even enjoy a beer on it.

Is this why brokerages whom advertise boats with cruiser stern decks imply that they are more sociable?

 

Traditional boat builders were obviously visionaries too and kept the stern to a minimum dimension to deter such audacious activities.

Edited May 11, 2013 by Doorman

[Doorman]

A group of female models once stepped on board our nb, no invitation and just walked into the boat, when I challenged them they didn't say anything but pushed me onto the bed and held me down and undressed me while at the same time stripping of themselves, they forced me to have sex with them all for several hours.

Bloody cheek.

Bartender!

 

Fetch me a pint of whatever hallucinary substance this man is drinking. :-)

[oarfish]

Valhalla sort of ..invites attention. Rarely get anybody actually stepping on the boat though, except for pissheads in Staleyvegas and some student running along the roof in Oxford.

 

 

(p.s I no longer use stupid pipe fenders)

[wannabe]

Or it steels a full bar when your not looking and leaves half the paper under the table, it probably ate the other half

Or it's a bloody labrador .....................

 

 

No, I've no idea who they were, but it did show how small Cygnet is!

Obviously no a Hawick man then. that coat would be green lol