Here be Pirates

[Phil Ambrose]

Does the canal system suffer from Pirates? Down here on the Broads it seems that not only does every Hire Boat fly the Jolly Roger but we get vast numbers of crews who all dress up as pirates. At every turn you are greeted with an array of Bluebeards or Jack Sparrows shouting Avast there me hearty etc etc.

The first couple of times it was slightly amusing but now it is just plain tedious and the sad thing is that they all think they are being original!

[zenataomm]

We get a few, but generally speaking around here we get the waistcoats and red neckerchief brigade ......... equally irritating

[Ray T]

We get a few, but generally speaking around here we get the waistcoats and red neckerchief brigade ......... equally irritating

 

 

Don't forget their pooches with red neckerchief's!

[carlt]

The boat load of scousers who wore stripey Dennis the Menace jumpers and "Terry from Brookside" perm wigs and taches, shouting "Calm down", all day in Braunston were quite original.

[Moley]

I suppose we get our fair share of pirates, but the ‘twat in a hat’ brigade seem to dominate.

You know the sort, with gold trimming.

[alan_fincher]

The boat load of scousers who wore stripey Dennis the Menace jumpers and "Terry from Brookside" perm wigs and taches, shouting "Calm down", all day in Braunston were quite original.

That would be the "relief" President crew then, would it, not the normal bunch ?

 

 

I suppose we get our fair share of pirates, but the ‘twat in a hat’ brigade seem to dominate.

You know the sort, with gold trimming.

And your point is ?

 

Is it the gold trimming ?

 

I've always had the gold trimming.

 

What's wrong with the gold trimming ?

[blackrose]

The first couple of times it was slightly amusing but now it is just plain tedious and the sad thing is that they all think they are being original!

I think it's the same mentality that makes rugby men & stag parties dress up in women's underwear or as nuns. It's so embarrassing to be from this country when you run into those idiots abroad.

 

Anyone who says they're "really crazy" is just giving you a clue that they're really boring. Not that I would wish to come acrosss as judgemental

Edited June 4, 2009 by blackrose

[Naughty Cal]

Sounds like we miss all the fun being on a quiet river

[alan_fincher]

Sounds like we miss all the fun being on a quiet river

The way I heard it, you cause most of the "fun" on an otherwise quiet river.

 

We get very few partners abandoning "ship" mid-canal in the narrow boating fraternity.

[Naughty Cal]

We get very few partners abandoning "ship" mid-canal in the narrow boating fraternity.

 

You know why that is though. Swimming to the edge of a muddy ditch isnt quite the same as swimming across a naturally formed lake to the pub

[Chertsey]

And your point is ?

 

Is it the gold trimming ?

 

I've always had the gold trimming.

 

What's wrong with the gold trimming ?

I'm still waiting for mine.

[alan_fincher]

I think it's the same mentality that makes rugby men & stag parties dress up in women's underwear or as nuns.

So when I boat in women's underwear, or dressed as a nun and wear the captain's hat with gold braid, is that completely over the top then ?

 

Perhaps I should start listening to my advisors!

 

Mind you, talking of looking a "twat"......

 

Ever since on the Thames, when the plastic boaters were sat 10 feet above the river on their sun lounger decks, supping their Pimms and G&Ts, I have threatened to set up a stool on the roof of Chalice, and flaunt it in a similar fashion.

 

I was banned at the time, (allegedly a health and safety ruling!), but snuck a stool onto the roof as we over-nighted near Kings Langley on this trip.

 

So there am I, glass of wine in hand, with Cath saying "you really do look a total twat".

 

Two girls were passing on the towpath, so I challenged her to seek an opinion.

 

She called them to a halt, and pointed at me and said, "you are allowed to say what you think, he'll not be upset, but don't you think he looks a total twat!".

 

One of them considered me carefully, and said "no, I don't think he looks a twat - he just looks very happy!".

 

Now I know the British regularly go out of their way to be over-polite, but I rest my case on this occasion.

 

Mind you, had I had a Captain's hat on, then they could rightfully have said I look a twat!

[blackelle123]

When we used to moor in a private marina at Ely, the summer brought with it the weekend crowds who had paid (substantial fee) to moor their boats all year round and yet would visit, wearing the complusory shorts, striped t-shirt, deck shoes and hat. They never took their boats out, just sat bankside!!!!

It only seemed to happen with the tupperwares!

Their boats were shining examples, beautifully clean and polished and yet never taken out of the marina, we just can't understand the waste of money, some of these boats were worth an absolute mint and yet never used. Think I have live aboard for too long!!!!

[Naughty Cal]

When we used to moor in a private marina at Ely, the summer brought with it the weekend crowds who had paid (substantial fee) to moor their boats all year round and yet would visit, wearing the complusory shorts, striped t-shirt, deck shoes and hat. They never took their boats out, just sat bankside!!!!

It only seemed to happen with the tupperwares!

Their boats were shining examples, beautifully clean and polished and yet never taken out of the marina, we just can't understand the waste of money, some of these boats were worth an absolute mint and yet never used. Think I have live aboard for too long!!!!

 

Common problem. We have the same. There is a brand new Sealine SC38 behind ours at the minute. Been there for 4 months, never seen the owners. Not bad for a 250k boat.

[carlt]

There is a brand new Sealine SC38 behind ours at the minute. Been there for 4 months, never seen the owners. Not bad for a 250k boat.

Alright!

I would take it out but it's been impounded, until Chris w's libel case is over.

[Chris J W]

So when I boat in women's underwear, or dressed as a nun and wear the captain's hat with gold braid, is that completely over the top then ?

 

But you'll certainly fit in in the UnStable Bar!

[mikevye]

Why are pirates called pirates?

 

 

 

 

 

Because they AHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGH

[Naughty Cal]

Would you like your coat sir?

[carlt]

Would you like your coat sir?

He's already got the hat.

[bobtom]

fink their called pirates cos they p-irate other boaters

[Diane]

Why are pirates called pirates?

 

 

 

 

 

Because they AHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGH

 

Old ones are the best hey?!

[Sparrow]

Does the canal system suffer from Pirates? Down here on the Broads it seems that not only does every Hire Boat fly the Jolly Roger but we get vast numbers of crews who all dress up as pirates. At every turn you are greeted with an array of Bluebeards or Jack Sparrows shouting Avast there me hearty etc etc.

The first couple of times it was slightly amusing but now it is just plain tedious and the sad thing is that they all think they are being original!

 

They ain't the real thing, Phil!

They're just parodies of my good self!

They like to impersonate me cos they can see what a fabulously wonderful time I'm havin!

Anyhow, don't suffer them - join in and have a "jolly roger" of a good time! It's better than being a sour faced old git, surely?

Rum, anyone?

[Phil Ambrose]

They ain't the real thing, Phil!

They're just parodies of my good self!

They like to impersonate me cos they can see what a fabulously wonderful time I'm havin!

Anyhow, don't suffer them - join in and have a "jolly roger" of a good time! It's better than being a sour faced old git, surely?

Rum, anyone?

Well done Sparrow, you have succeded in rattling my cage. I may be an old git but I am not sour faced.

You dont know me, we have never met so you are not qualified to make a judgement on my character or disposition. I dont know you so would never suggest you are an arrogant little tw*t because it may not be true

[Chertsey]

Well done Sparrow, you have succeded in rattling my cage. I may be an old git but I am not sour faced.

You dont know me, we have never met so you are not qualified to make a judgement on my character or disposition. I dont know you so would never suggest you are an arrogant little tw*t because it may not be true

Point proved, I think.

[Sparrow]

Well done Sparrow, you have succeded in rattling my cage. I may be an old git but I am not sour faced.

You dont know me, we have never met so you are not qualified to make a judgement on my character or disposition. I dont know you so would never suggest you are an arrogant little tw*t because it may not be true

 

Ooh I do love a rattling cage! Reminds me of a busty wench I once knew in Antigua....but that's an entirely different subject that we could discuss over a bottle of something, preferably rum, one evening.

My dearest Phil, I would not, for one briefest moment, suggest that you, or anyone else I have not had the pleasure of drinking with yet, was a sour faced old git.

I was not aiming this in anyone's direction but merely stating that having a good time was preferable to the afore mentioned sour-facedness and old-gittery.

Conversely, however, after a weekend of rum drinking and debauchery I have been called an arrogant little tw@t and have fully deserved it.