will i be alowed to buy a boat?

[peter nelson]

just wondering wether or not i will be alowed to buy a boat?

 

the only reason i ask is that i dont drink and dont have a beard, so will everyone refuse to sell me a boat?

 

pete

[koukouvagia]

just wondering wether or not i will be alowed to buy a boat?

 

the only reason i ask is that i dont drink and dont have a beard, so will everyone refuse to sell me a boat?

 

pete

 

You'll be OK if you wear a red neckerchief and a bowler

[tree]

just wondering wether or not i will be alowed to buy a boat?

 

the only reason i ask is that i dont drink and dont have a beard, so will everyone refuse to sell me a boat?

 

pete

 

Hmm... well I do not drink ( one sniff of a winegum and I would probably be paraletic)

runs to mirror to check ( damm... you glasses) NOPE !! all is well I do not have a beard and I bought my boat

[slammer]

Stuble and pot belly appear when you step aboard (well mine did)

Edited December 2, 2011 by slammer

[magpie patrick]

just wondering wether or not i will be alowed to buy a boat?

 

the only reason i ask is that i dont drink and dont have a beard, so will everyone refuse to sell me a boat?

 

pete

 

Oi, you tryin' to start a skirmish or summit?

 

Not that many teetotallers here, although I'm sure there are some. I'm chairman of the Somersetshire Coal Canal Society, and it dawned on me recently that of a committee of 10 I'm the only one that partakes of alcoholic beverages, but I'm also the only one with a beard...

 

Plenty of clean shaven boaters though

[Barry]

You need to wear a waistcoat and a collarless shirt too

 

Don't want your neckerchief to look like a cravat

 

Oh no definately not

[peter nelson]

Oi, you tryin' to start a skirmish or summit?

 

Not that many teetotallers here, although I'm sure there are some. I'm chairman of the Somersetshire Coal Canal Society, and it dawned on me recently that of a committee of 10 I'm the only one that partakes of alcoholic beverages, but I'm also the only one with a beard...

 

Plenty of clean shaven boaters though

 

not trying to start a skirmish just trying to make someone smile before they go to bed.

 

night night guys

[tree]

not trying to start a skirmish just trying to make someone smile before they go to bed.

 

night night guys

made me laugh and smile nn

[Gazboatman]

We just bought a boat and there were 4 of us who went to view it and none of us had a beard, well the brother had a slight bit of stubble....

 

Maybe that's why he sold us it.

 

It's a good job really as when I asked for advice on here regarding buying it no one mentioned this, just said we'd need an anchor for the river severn.

[Boat&Bikes]

No you cant.

 

Ian

[Starcoaster]

In this recession, you will always find someone who will sell to you.

But I certainly wouldn't.

[keble]

 

It's a good job really as when I asked for advice on here regarding buying it no one mentioned this, just said we'd need an anchor for the river severn.

and they were right!

[Gazboatman]

and they were right!

Certainly was.

 

[JDR]

Apparently a photo of the boat owner with a minimum of an Uncle Albert beard is required to licence a boat. This obviously doesn't apply to the fairer sex, a Capt Haddock being considered quite satisfactory.

[Steilsteven]

just wondering wether or not i will be alowed to buy a boat?

 

the only reason i ask is that i dont drink and dont have a beard, so will everyone refuse to sell me a boat?

 

pete

 

No but you might find, after you've bought one, that you're unable to afford razors anymore!

 

Keith

[duztee]

Don't worry!

The beard will appear soon after stepping aboard, and you will find yourself turning to alcohol shortly afterwards too.

[mrsmelly]

just wondering wether or not i will be alowed to buy a boat?

 

the only reason i ask is that i dont drink and dont have a beard, so will everyone refuse to sell me a boat?

 

pete

 

mmm probably not. I am always wary of non drinking types it simply isnt natural. Are you a vegan ?. You will also not be allowed to buy a cruiser type motorcycle as an upside down head is prerequisite.......

[weeble]

just wondering wether or not i will be alowed to buy a boat?

 

the only reason i ask is that i dont drink and dont have a beard, so will everyone refuse to sell me a boat?

 

pete

As long as you get yerself a "tasty" dog I'm sure you'll fit in ok.

[john6767]

Don't worry!

The beard will appear soon after stepping aboard, and you will find yourself turning to alcohol shortly afterwards too.

 

I am managing to resist the beard so far. Alcohol is a different matter .

 

However you must get yourself a leather drovers hat, they are mandatory.

 

 

 

[fuzzyduck]

just wondering wether or not i will be alowed to buy a boat?

 

the only reason i ask is that i dont drink and dont have a beard, so will everyone refuse to sell me a boat?

 

pete

 

Pete

 

The answer is 2 fold.

 

Yes you will be allowed to buy a boat. the broker (or owner) will happily take your money, and hand over the keys.

 

However.... There is a strict pecking order on the canals, it's been detailed here, and I'll try and link to it for you. lack of visage fluff and a tendancy to sobriety, will put you so far down the order that you'll have to salute kids on lilos. This applies even if you manage to buy NB President.

 

For the sake of your own self esteem, throw the razor away today.

 

-----------------------------------------------------

Pecking order.

 

As revised for Hippies

 

1. Owners of Shiny new narrowboats. (based in marinas)

2. Owners of Shiny new narrowboats. (moored on linear moorings)

3. Owners of Shiny new narrowboats. (Continuous cruisers)

4. Owners of older narrowboats. (based in marinas)

5. Owners of older narrowboats. (moored on linear moorings)

6. Owners of older narrowboats. (Continuous cruisers)

7. Floating gypsies.

8. Owners of GRP (based in marinas)

9. Owners of GRP (moored on linear moorings)

10. Owners of GRP (Continuous cruisers)

11. Hirers

12. Eugene Baston

13. Owners of Imitation working boats. (based in marinas)

14. Owners of Imitation working boats. (moored on linear moorings)

15. Owners of Imitation working boats. (Continuous cruisers)

16. Ownerships and similar

17. Canaltime

18. Challenger

19. Challenger Stealth Hire

20. Day boats

21. Canoes

22. BW Launches

23. Birmingham Mattresses

24. Blow up dinghy from Argos, during a heatwave in the school holidays.

25. River Lee sofabeds/mattresses etc.......

26. Hippies

 

Bonus points and penalties.

+ 1 for each item of clothing worn in the following list.

Bowler hat.

Collarless Shirt.

Moleskin Trousers.

Waistcoat.

Neckerchief.

 

-10 for the following items

Baseball cap.

navy style skippers cap.

 

-10 for not drinking real ale. (-20 for larger)

-10 for not having a beard.

Edited December 3, 2011 by fuzzyduck

[Mike Jordan]

With a name like that the Royal Navy should buy one for you!

[Albert Smith]

Well now I know where I'm going wrong, having had a beard for the last 50 odd years it's now gone (caught fire, but that's another (embarrasing) story). Recently went over to Holland to look at a vessel, I was greeted like a long lost shipmate. As opposed to looking at a narrowboat here (after losing beard)in the UK, where the owner was totally disinterested in making a sale. Looks like a beard is the way to go if you want to be taken seriously

 

Albert.

[benfordboy]

Well now I know where I'm going wrong, having had a beard for the last 50 odd years it's now gone (caught fire, but that's another (embarrasing) story). Recently went over to Holland to look at a vessel, I was greeted like a long lost shipmate. As opposed to looking at a narrowboat here (after losing beard)in the UK, where the owner was totally disinterested in making a sale. Looks like a beard is the way to go if you want to be taken seriously

 

Albert.

 

 

Apart from never wanting to be taken seriously ...... I'm intrigued on after 50yrs of beardy growth on yr face you managed to set fire to it, surely as an old hand you would know how to handle said beard ? It must be unusual - You never ever see a old hand at boating do anything wrong

 

Tell more.....

[i love my narrowboat]

not trying to start a skirmish just trying to make someone smile before they go to bed.

 

night night guys

 

 

and of course you have to have your hair in a ponytail with an elastic band :-0

[tree]

Pete

 

The answer is 2 fold.

 

Yes you will be allowed to buy a boat. the broker (or owner) will happily take your money, and hand over the keys.

 

However.... There is a strict pecking order on the canals, it's been detailed here, and I'll try and link to it for you. lack of visage fluff and a tendancy to sobriety, will put you so far down the order that you'll have to salute kids on lilos. This applies even if you manage to buy NB President.

 

For the sake of your own self esteem, throw the razor away today.

 

-----------------------------------------------------

Pecking order.

Crikey!! hmmm.... Hippy tick , Teetotal tick and No Beard tick and still happy