Albert Smith

I took a small coaster (tad under 500grt) up to Selby in 1971/2? to a mill, we had a fairly deep draft and as I recall we bounced our way up past Goole on a flood tide and just managed to squeeze through the swinging bridge (?) at Selby. As I recall there was a hard turn to starboard and the mill was just a few hundred yards further on, on the right hand side. I would imagine an under powered vessel would have some difficulty on the Ouse if tides were not used to advantage.

Walking back to the ship with Mrs Smith one night in Paranagua (Brazil). I was walking in front when I heard a thud. Turning round my wife was still there and a body was laid out on the pavement, we stepped up the pace before anyone else saw us. She later told me the guy had come out of an alley and about to clober me, he didn't see her but she tapped him on the shoulder and as he turned she caught him a beauty and knocked him out cold. So in answer to the OP's question, I would set Mrs Smith loose

Not had dealings with this particular fellow but several months back I found a boat in Liverpool, it was just what I was looking for. Liverpool is a 500 mile round trip from my home so I had to be pretty sure it was worth the trip. I contacted the owner several times and although not particularly keen or helpful, I did extract the information I needed. I sorted out a bank draft (for my offer price) and booked the hotel in Liverpool. In the initial ad he stated "no ex merchant navy or uncle Albert lookalikes", I took this to be light hearted banter and didn't give it another thought. On the evening I was due to leave I contacted the seller by phone to confirm I was leaving, and to confirm the time of meeting etc the next morning. I jokingly mentioned that I was ex-Merchant Navy and did have a beard so I would be easy to spot. The fellow's attitude totally changed, every other word was the 'f' word. The gist of the response was that I was a total time waster and he was fed up with 'my type'. Needless to say I never went to Liverpool and that was £98k he lost (well, actually I was offering £95k). I do not understand sellers that assume every potential buyer is a 'time waster', this seems particularly prevalent amongst British sellers, why? I don't know? Since then I have made various inquiry's to UK sellers both for a newbuild, and a couple of secondhand boats. I've been promised a callback (on a newbuild) which never came, and the private sellers were 'too busy'. Yesterday I contacted a dutch builder, he offered to pay my ferry fare and accomodation for 2 nights for myself and Mrs Smith. Albert.

Is there something you want to tell us Mike...... Albert.

With the higher rents, you could say the prostitutes were being screwed. Albert.

What a beautiful looking barge, was she built in the UK? Albert.

I think I'll stick to a pencil and paper. Albert

Too late, it's gone. Albert.

When I viewed my cottage, I asked the owner when the chimney was last swept. Well he said "I bought the house in 1946 and never had it swept, but set fire to the chimney a couple time a year to clear the soot". When I bought the cottage he showed me 'the technique'. Stack the fire with dry logs (wood burner), open up the bottom vent to draw the fire, open the chimney vent fully open. Within 15 minutes the chimney was roaring like a blowlamp with a flame roaring out of the chimney pot like a jet engine. I opted for the chimney sweep when it was time to sweep. Has to be said, the cottage was built in 1845 and the walls are 2ft 6ins thick. Albert.

In the present climate the boat would be a good starter for somebody on a limited budget, the hull pitting is probably the result of a lack of anodes. A fair bit of money and a lot of time needs to be invested by the purchaser, they could end up with a tidy looking narrowboat. Realisticaly I would suggest a price of £3/£4k. Albert.

If your vessel is capable of 4 knots at slack water, you will achieve 4 knots in either direction. However if you are punching an ebb tide of (ie;) 5 knots, you will in affect be going astern at 1 knot. If your course is in the direction of the 'flow' you will achieve (theoretically) 9 knots. You will need a 'Tidal Flow' chart/book, this will show the rate and direction of the flow 6 hours before HW and every hour up to high water, and again for the ebb tide. Used in conjunction with a copy of the 'Tide Tables' (for your area) it's pretty straightforward to plan your trip and take advantage of the 'ebb' and 'flow'. Albert.

No idea what model it was as I sold the boat 15 years ago, however it wasn't hugely efficient until I had a header tank (for diesel) fitted. Then it was just a case of keeping the diesel header tank topped up to avoid condensation in the tank, worked far better on a gravity supply. I've seen this type of Eberspacher on ebay, as I recall the last one made around £240.00 Albert.

How sad to see a 'first poster' has received such an uninviting reception, irrespective of the nature of the post. Hopefully 'Sorry/Zoe' will return and enrich themselves with the positive wealth of knowledge that exists here. As we are not aware of the posters situation, lets not be so hasty to judge. Welcome to the forum 'Zoe'. Albert.

Eberspacher do a water heater, and very efficient it is too. Had a boat with one fitted, otherwise I would assume they just made heaters. Albert

OP, I appreciate your boat needs some work and under all the clutter there is a blank canvas for an enthusiastic purchaser. First impressions are everything either on ebay or Apollo Duck, and my first impression of your boat is not one that entices me to view. If it were possible to remove all the clutter and then photograph the boat, that would be an improvement. The other thing that may put prospective buyers off is (as per your A/Duck ad); 'viewing can be arranged but there will be a reasonable charge levied for my time, unless I am on the boat anyway, to discourage timewasting' Having sold boats of my own (and now looking for another), I have learnt that you cannot (as the saying goes) judge a book by it's cover. The purchaser of your boat may look as if they do not have two pennys to rub together. In my experience if they turn up in an expensive car and well dressed, they are the one's least likely to buy your boat (execptions of course!). The buyer of my last boat turned up in an untaxed pickup truck and brought cash (a substantial amount) Charging a potential buyer to view is not really on. If I take the trouble travelling to your location to view your boat, I would not expect to pay for it. Are you willing to pay potential buyers to view your boat? After all, they've invested time and money to view the boat. In a nutshell, clear the clutter, take some more pictures and list the boat on AD or Ebay. Good luck. Albert