Beginners guide to electricity

[GUMPY]

Guide to Electricity

 

Most electricity is manufactured at power stations, where it is fed into wires which are then wound onto large drums for delivery to the customer.

 

Some electricity, however, does not need to go round in wires. That which is used for lightning and in portable radios, for example. This kind of electricity is not generated, but just lies around loose.

 

Electricity makes a low humming noise. This noise may be pitched at different levels for use in door bells, telephones and electric organs.

 

Electricity must be earthed. That is to say, it has to be connected to the ground before it can function, except in the case of aeroplanes, which have separate arrangements.

 

Although electricity does not leak from an empty light socket, that light socket is nevertheless live if you happen to put your finger in it when the switch is on.

 

Electricity is made up of two ingredients, positive and negative. One ingredient travels along a wire covered in brown plastic, and the other along a wire covered in blue plastic. When these two wires meet in what we call a plug, the two different ingredients mix together to form electricity.

 

Electricity may be stored in batteries. Big batteries do not necessarily hold more electricity than small batteries. In big ones the electricity is just shovelled in, while in small ones, the electricity is packed flat.

 

With the invention of coloured electricity, so came a great easing of traffic problems. Hitherto policemen were used at road junctions.

 

An even bigger breakthrough came in 1929 with the invention of Negative electricity, this resulted in the electric refrigerator.

 

A few notes on the functions of various electrical apparatus

 

The Light Switch

The lever controls a small vice or clamp which grips the wires very tightly and thus prevents the electricity from passing that point when the switch is in the off position.

 

The Light Bulb

This is one of the few times when we can see electricity. This takes the form of a tiny spark magnified many hundreds of times by the curved glass of the bulb. Unfortunately, these bulbs have a limited life, as any one can tell you, because the heat generated by the magnified spark causes the oxygen in the bulb to condense into moisture which then quenches the spark.

 

The Fuse Box

This is where all the wires in the house come together and join (or fuse) with the wires from the power station. This is prone to failure due to the fact that the manufacturers of this device put in wires that are too thin.

(NB, There is a brand of chicken wire that is an excellent substitute for fuse wire and much more reliable. Use this and even though your spin drier bursts into flame, your fuse box will not let you down.)

__________________

That's not a real gu......

[steelaway]

Guide to Electricity

 

Most electricity is manufactured at power stations, where it is fed into wires which are then wound onto large drums for delivery to the customer.

 

Some electricity, however, does not need to go round in wires. That which is used for lightning and in portable radios, for example. This kind of electricity is not generated, but just lies around loose.

 

Electricity makes a low humming noise. This noise may be pitched at different levels for use in door bells, telephones and electric organs.

 

Electricity must be earthed. That is to say, it has to be connected to the ground before it can function, except in the case of aeroplanes, which have separate arrangements.

 

Although electricity does not leak from an empty light socket, that light socket is nevertheless live if you happen to put your finger in it when the switch is on.

 

Electricity is made up of two ingredients, positive and negative. One ingredient travels along a wire covered in brown plastic, and the other along a wire covered in blue plastic. When these two wires meet in what we call a plug, the two different ingredients mix together to form electricity.

 

Electricity may be stored in batteries. Big batteries do not necessarily hold more electricity than small batteries. In big ones the electricity is just shovelled in, while in small ones, the electricity is packed flat.

 

With the invention of coloured electricity, so came a great easing of traffic problems. Hitherto policemen were used at road junctions.

 

An even bigger breakthrough came in 1929 with the invention of Negative electricity, this resulted in the electric refrigerator.

 

A few notes on the functions of various electrical apparatus

 

The Light Switch

The lever controls a small vice or clamp which grips the wires very tightly and thus prevents the electricity from passing that point when the switch is in the off position.

 

The Light Bulb

This is one of the few times when we can see electricity. This takes the form of a tiny spark magnified many hundreds of times by the curved glass of the bulb. Unfortunately, these bulbs have a limited life, as any one can tell you, because the heat generated by the magnified spark causes the oxygen in the bulb to condense into moisture which then quenches the spark.

 

The Fuse Box

This is where all the wires in the house come together and join (or fuse) with the wires from the power station. This is prone to failure due to the fact that the manufacturers of this device put in wires that are too thin.

(NB, There is a brand of chicken wire that is an excellent substitute for fuse wire and much more reliable. Use this and even though your spin drier bursts into flame, your fuse box will not let you down.)

__________________

That's not a real gu......

 

 

 

Brilliant

Now I know how a light switch works!

Are you a real electrician?

 

Alex

[Keeping Up]

Now I know how a light switch works!

Many hands make light work!

[Chris J W]

Tee heee!!!

[1066]

I love it ... although I'm sure some idiot will come along and tell you it's all wrong!

[chris w]

Well done.... great stuff.

 

Chris

[jollyroger]

Also what wasn't mentioned was that before coloured electricity you could only get black & white TV

[RobinJ]

Also what wasn't mentioned was that before coloured electricity you could only get black & white TV

So where did all the red and black electricity go then?

[RLWP]

I love it ... although I'm sure some idiot will come along and tell you it's all wrong!

 

Now I had it on good authority from the electrical guys at Rover that electricity, although rarely seen in its natural state is a grey acrid smokey substance. It is passed around a car in plastic tubes reinforced with a metal core. It can occasionally be seen when a tube that is too small has been used, the consequence being a huge increase in pressure followed by a bursting of the tube and the electricity escaping as a grey acrid smoke!

 

Richard

 

I'm sure they are right as I was told this just before being sent to the stores for a long weight....

[Keeping Up]

So where did all the red and black electricity go then?

It's been recycled into green electricity that can flow down the third wire (which can also convey yellow electricity thaht has been imported from the far-East)

[chris w]

It's been recycled into green electricity that can flow down the third wire (which can also convey yellow electricity that has been imported from the far-East)

 

And the proof of this is the fact there is indeed a power company called "Eastern Electricity". I get mine from "Power Gen" because it's uncomplicated. They simply use a Honda Generator which unfortunately, in my village, seems to run out of petrol a lot of nights.

 

Chris

[GUMPY]

Some more from Dave Barry whoever he may be:

 

Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity and

where does it go after it leaves the toaster?

 

Here is a simple experiment that will teach you an important

electrical lesson: On a cool dry day, scuff your feet along a carpet,

then reach your hand into a friend's mouth and touch one of his dental

fillings. Did you notice how your friend twitched violently and cried

out in pain? This teaches one that electricity can be a very powerful

force, but we must never use it to hurt others unless we need to learn

an important lesson about electricity.

 

It also illustrates how an electrical circuit works. When you scuffed

your feet, you picked up batches of "electrons", which are very small

objects that carpet manufacturers weave into carpet so that they will

attract dirt. The electrons travel through your bloodstream and

collect in your finger, where they form a spark that leaps to your

friend's filling, then travel down to his feet and back into the

carpet, thus completing the circuit.

 

AMAZING ELECTRONIC FACT: If you scuffed your feet long enough without

touching anything, you would build up so many electrons that your

finger would explode! But this is nothing to worry about unless you

have carpeting.

 

Although we modern persons tend to take our electric lights, radios,

mixers, etc. for granted, hundreds of years ago people did not have

any of these things, which is just as well because there was no place

to plug them in. Then along came the first Electrical Pioneer,

Benjamin Franklin, who flew a kite in a lightning storm and received a

serious electrical shock. This proved that lightning was powered by

the same force as carpets, but it also damaged Franklin's brain so

severely that he started speaking only in incomprehensible maxims,

such as, "A penny saved is a penny earned." Eventually he had to be

given a job running the post office.

 

After Franklin came a herd of Electrical Pioneers whose names have

become part of our electrical terminology: Myron Volt, Mary Louise

Amp, James Watt, Bob Transformer, etc. These pioneers conducted many

important electrical experiments. Among them, Galvani discovered

(this is the truth) that when he attached two different kinds of metal

to the leg of a frog, an electrical current developed and the frog's

leg kicked, even though it was no longer attached to the frog, which

was dead anyway. Galvani's discovery led to enormous advances in the

field of amphibian medicine. Today, skilled veterinary surgeons can

take a frog that has been seriously injured or killed, implant pieces

of metal in its muscles, and watch it hop back into the pond --

almost.

 

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who

was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal

education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in

1877 was the phonograph, which could soon be found in thousands of

American homes, where it basically sat until 1923, when the record was

invented. But Edison's greatest achievement came in 1879 when he

invented the electric company. Edison's design was a brilliant

adaptation of the simple electrical circuit: the electric company

sends electricity through a wire to a customer, then immediately gets

the electricity back through another wire, then (this is the brilliant

part) sends it right back to the customer again.

 

This means that an electric company can sell a customer the same batch

of electricity thousands of times a day and never get caught, since

very few customers take the time to examine their electricity closely.

In fact, the last year any new electricity was generated was 1937.

 

Today, thanks to men like Edison and Franklin, and frogs like

Galvani's, we receive almost unlimited benefits from electricity. For

example, in the past decade scientists have developed the laser, an

electronic appliance so powerful that it can vaporize a bulldozer 2000

yards away, yet so precise that doctors can use it to perform delicate

operations to the human eyeball, provided they remember to change the

power setting from "Bulldozer" to "Eyeball."

__________________

[Hairy-Neil]

Now I had it on good authority from the electrical guys at Rover that electricity, although rarely seen in its natural state is a grey acrid smokey substance. It is passed around a car in plastic tubes reinforced with a metal core. It can occasionally be seen when a tube that is too small has been used, the consequence being a huge increase in pressure followed by a bursting of the tube and the electricity escaping as a grey acrid smoke!

 

Ah, that would be the invention of Lucas, the Prince of Darkness......

[RLWP]

Lucas, the Prince of Darkness

 

Just going off-topic a little, anyone know where this comes from? My impression is that it is a biker thing.

 

Richard

[RobinJ]

Just going off-topic a little, anyone know where this comes from? My impression is that it is a biker thing.

I thought maybe George Lucas - Darthvader - Star Wars?

[carlt]

The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."

 

Lucas denies having invented darkness. But they still claim "sudden, unexpected darkness"

 

Lucas--inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

 

Lucas--inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

 

The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF.

 

The other three switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

 

Lucas dip-switch positions: LOW and BLOW

 

The original anti-theft devices--Lucas Electric products.

 

"I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any prob...

 

If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.

 

Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.

 

It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.

 

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all look the same?" "He replied, it doesn't matter which one you use, nothing happens!"

 

Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which didn't suck.

 

Quality Assurance phoned and advised the Lucas engineering guy that they had trouble with his design shorting out. So he made the wires longer.

 

Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas made the refrigerators, too.

 

Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.

Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.

Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

 

Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sunwise

around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant."

 

Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.

 

How to make AIDS disappear? Give it a Lucas parts number.

 

Recently, Lucas won out over Bosch to supply the electrical for the new Volkswagens. So, now the cars from the Black Forest will come with electrics supplied by the Lord of Darkness -- how appropriate!

 

Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices.

 

The Prince's last words to his son: "don't go riding after dark"

 

Lucas jokes: black humor.

[BlueStringPudding]

[RLWP]

Lucas jokes: black humor.

 

Goodness me!

 

Richard

 

Ex Lucas Aerospace development engineer, Father and Mother worked at Lucas Electrical - Great Hampton Street, Great Grandmother apparently worked with Joseph Lucas himself.

[Mick_B]

So Carl you like Lucas do you?