I Smell Evil Santa

[John V]

pssssst!

I have uncovered evidence that other secret workers against Evil Santa may exist.......Our local Morrison's has hot cross buns on sale today......Do you think there might be a chance they are going to jump straight to Easter?

 

 

Mustafanon

Edited October 17, 2014 by John V

[Phil Ambrose]

Ah you have done well Mustafanon in obtaining this useful information about Morrisons, we shall wait and see if they do actually swerve Xmas.

Mustaphfag

[Theo]

Now I'm all in for Christmas - I love Christmas, but flippin heck, can't we please do Halloween and Thanksgiving first??!?

Don't like Halloween. All those witches and devil worship. And the morals of trick or treat are very dubious. Adult sanctioned protection racket.

 

N

[Dyertribe]

But I like my light sabre its kinda cool...never bin cool...couldn't I have both? Have very big handbag.

Imagine how scary I would be light sabre in right...or left hand and light scimitar in left or maybe right hand...now practise must practise...hang on needed else where.

Neverbincool is MY name! How dare you use it in vain!

[Phil Ambrose]

Neverbincool is MY name! How dare you use it in vain!

Does that mean you wish to join the brother/sisterhood Neverbincool, your contribution to the Sack Santa movement will be a thing of wonder and we need all the help we can get.

Mustaphfag

[patty-ann]

Neverbincool is MY name! How dare you use it in vain!

Please accept my humble apologies, I would never use your ever so amazin name in vain...grovel ......

[John V]

brothers and sisters!!! In a nearby field great tents have been set up, and great signs erected saying "Santus Circus".Our people are greatly frightened and beg for advice from the wise........Is this a sign that the great evil approaches?

[The Bearwood Boster]

Have been out today buying new robes -just have one problem- does my bomb look big in this ? Oh no no no I mean does my bum look big in this ?

Worried of Bearwood(Musthavacurrynapint)

[Phil Ambrose]

Oh be strong Mustafanon and resist the call of the Santus Circus, they are minions of the big Red Fella and our after our readies, leaving us boracic with nothing to show for our outlay. We are on a watching brief at the moment while we get kitted out and armed.

Musthavacurrynapint I'm sure your bum looks just fine so do not stress and anyway who's going to notice in the heat of battle.

Tilly the Teeth is at this very moment putting in the miles in her ball, so allis well on the training front. We shall have a meeting soon to discuss tactics.

Mustaphafag

[patty-ann]

I, too took time to survey possible outfits, however my mission to research cake and coffee prioritised as realised that provisions essential if our troops are to be equal to task ahead.....

my bum will definitely look big in chic designer humble attire I eventually select.

[Phil Ambrose]

Japattie-annimin, now you have achieved the Beyonce look perhaps you could turn your attention to the pertinent matter.....How to bring the Seasonal Sod down!!! We need to formulate a sound plan, we could look at knobbling the reindeer, perhaps a fusion of Molly dog and Tilly the Teeth, maybe we could look at a bit of sledge slaying, you know bend his runners or a bit of harness hacking might do the trick.

I did toy with the idea of writting a spoof letter to lure HIM to a secret location so we can lock him up, come on Brothers and Sisters of ISN'T get creative.

Mustaphfag

[patty-ann]

I have given the matter nano second thought due consideration as its status warrants whilst consuming healthy breakfast fruit and yoghourt having decided to achieve optimum fitness for task ahead.

If Santas Sledge could indeed be hijacked Molly could be utilised to herd the reindeer into Tillys Teeth,

Sledge could be recycled and harnessed with huskies which I will drive, having had first hand experience of this skill I am expert. Molly, having husky type blood would obviously be lead hound.

Reindeer then loaded and money made through sale of venison...nice change for Christmas dinner. Sure suitable selling point would be "Get your Christmas Dinner here, Rudolph for sale", kids would love it.

All the niggly bits can be ironed out later

Now I'm off to scout out local venues where the red geezer sets up shop.

Edited October 21, 2014 by patty-ann

[Phil Ambrose]

Mmm, venison (slurp slurp) I'm liking your thinking on this one. Without reindeer the Big Red Fellah is well and truly snookered. We should consider this proprasal together with a plan B in case Red John finds alternate motive power for his sledge.

Mustaphfag

[John V]

Pssssttt! Mustafanon here, special undercover agent of the stop the Big Red Fellah brigade.

I have reliable information that Morrisons stock venison burgers in their stores. Try to tempt buyers from other supermarkets by inviting them to a barbecue.........

[patty-ann]

Right lets get organised, do you think Morrisons would buy fresh venison close to Christmas...maybe we should hijack turkeys so that theres a shortage and alternate meat will be sought after.

[John V]

Psssstttt!!! truly a devious plan you have devised Japattie-Annamin. The intricate workings of the female mind are truly unexplicable to the male, long may it be so.........my salamis.....Mustafanon

[casper ghost]

I've been Santa...but i'm retired now..

 

Casp' (my avatar has had a santa hat on throughout the whole year)..

[Phil Ambrose]

I've been Santa...but i'm retired now..

 

Casp' (my avatar has had a santa hat on throughout the whole year)..

Be grateful you are no longer affiliated with the Big Red Fella because in a few short weeks the forces of ISN'T will deal him a blow from which he will not recover. For too long he has blighted our lives, shops full of seasonal tat, streets decorated with tawdry tinsel and baubles and children being urged by the media to apply pressure on heir hard pressed parents. In fact children themselves suffer hugely from peer pressure during this frenzied season each trying to outdo all their mates in the "my mum and dad are getting THIS" stakes

Casper find a suitable name for yourself as Japatty-Annimin has and join us in bringing Sants (spit) down, I can fix you up with a nice flannelette robe and you can arm yourself with your weapon of choice

Mustaphafag.

Edited October 27, 2014 by Phil Ambrose

[patty-ann]

Hmmm Casper you may want to find your own suitable attire since Mustaphag acquired his from a highly questionable source

Driving through dimly lit residential areas i had a moment...yea a moment....shock as I espied a house adorned with glittering lights...tis only October, I fear the geezer dressed in red is casting his net wide and trawling in unsuspecting home owners in his mission to defeat our forces Such a glaring show of support, I fear our task will be tough and not for the faint hearted so gird up your loins my friends and set hearts and minds to the task ahead.

Molly dog has been in training...hmmm well nearly...shes been practising her rounding up expertise on the ponies in a field adjoining house of horror where I am also engaged in pushing mind, body and soul to extreme limits of endurance.

I have had large hole chiseled in chimney and am designing a trap to catch the red geezer, tis my intention to put him to meaningful employment scraping Artex from the walls thus he will be unable to travel the world.

I am torn between temptation to then leave him chained working his fingers to the bone whilst I set sail amongst the star lit sky on his sledge or whether I put the reindeer in the field to replace the traumatised ponies and hope the farmer does not notice the difference.

[casper ghost]

 

I have had large hole chiseled in chimney and am designing a trap to catch the red geezer, tis my intention to put him to meaningful employment scraping Artex from the walls thus he will be unable to travel the world.

I am torn between temptation to then leave him chained working his fingers to the bone whilst I set sail amongst the star lit sky on his sledge or whether I put the reindeer in the field to replace the traumatised ponies and hope the farmer does not notice the difference.

Santa, at work last year, arrived by helicopter, no reindeer with him...

Casp'

[John V]

curses upon him.....a plan is needed, a cunning plan, a plan so cunning that the evil red one will not see his doom approaching.....think brothers and sisters, think hard !!!

[patty-ann]

The success of any mission is dependent on the dedication of those undertaking sad said mission.

Flexibility, multiple options and directional forces are crucial to this particular campaign.

I am considering whether to don a suitable disguise to infiltrate the red geezers workshops and see if I can assist in our endeavours by working from the inside.

I am aware that this will take great courage and fortitude, it may be that Molly Dog can acquire a position as guard dog and thus assist me.

I wonder if the frozen north and Red Geezers place has hot chocolate and donuts?...not that this would influence me at all...I am strong, I can cannot be swayed from destiny.

Edited October 29, 2014 by patty-ann

[Phil Ambrose]

Japatty-Annimin I think your plan does have some merit, being on the inside would certainly give us the edge, as for supplies of victuals, I do believe that hot choclate and Donuts (sigh) do figure on the Big Red Fellah's menu so you'll be OK

Report back any usefull snippets that you can.

Mustaphafag

[John V]

Japatty-Annimin I think your plan does have some merit, being on the inside would certainly give us the edge, as for supplies of victuals, I do believe that hot choclate and Donuts (sigh) do figure on the Big Red Fellah's menu so you'll be OK

Report back any usefull snippets that you can.

Mustaphafag

Pssssst!!! Any chance you might be able t sneak some of his donuts back for us to try (Purely for experimental consumption of course) but don't bother with the mince pie ones.......Mustafanon

[patty-ann]

Following a evening spent drinking researching and eating chocolate planning I have discovered that there are 6 main elves and one called Alabaster Snowball is highly intelligent and in charge of computers and updating the naughty/nice status of children. Now if its possible to hack into this programme and change all the nice status of children to naughty then Red Geezer not needed, Christmas cancelled..job done......I am sure that Mustaphafag can organise his team(team work is the key) to complete this small task whilst I work from within

I am not sure whether I should buy an ordinary Green Elf Costume at 44 dollars 99 cents or whether to purchase the Honey Elf Costume Elite at 139 dollars 99 cents....hmm can I put it on expenses?

Regards Japatty-Anninamin

I have applied for post of Mrs Claus secretary under the name of Sugardonut Sprinkle