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jodansgang

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    Yorkshire

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    Engineer
  • Boat Name
    Lucy Annie
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  1. Have I missed something here? When exactly was summer? Winters for me are all about the ONESIE.
  2. Quick note: best to wear a rubber ring at all times as well, in conjunction with said thermal onesie, just incase one takes a dip in the olde ditch.
  3. Save power by wearing a onesie at all times of the year, especially during the summer months as a thermal type onesie can be very helpfull for ones physique. Don't partake in otherworldly activities such as T.V. or TinterWeb or Media of any type (just educate yourself by reading a book or a copy of The Towpath Weekly). Never use any lighting except a candle or a torch. Don't shower, muck looks a lot like suntan. Don't listen to music, unless you own a Sony Walkman Portable Cassette Player that accepts 6xAA-1.5v batteries. And most of all, forget cats and dogs, purchase a hamster, these timmering wee beasties can be a godsend in winter. Still at it? Still going strong! Kids are still human! Wife still loves me (I think). Love to Phill and Nulfie if your still within your mortal coils. XX.
  4. Sisters of Allahn, Brothers, when did you last pray? Lay down your Rag Rugs towards the rising Stoves of the Fire and call upon Allahn to consider your sins. Pray, for Mustaphafag and his suspended fire of the fiery groin. Pray for Ja-Pattyann and the Phalic-Sabre she carries in her handbag. Pray for Ichlammatchpointlamabad, and his continuos prayer. Hold in the eyes of Allahn Mustafanon, he spy's upon our enemy. Ibishemerald Mucfoxtard, BnM have a range of batery powered led lights for purchase. Mustaphacurryanapint, welcome, Sister Ja-Pattyann is a the wisest of Sistren, she will advise you on the wearing of the bgurkin. It is important that you follow our tradition and place an oversised vegetable on your head, so as not to see the face of Allahn. Remember the ticking clock. It acts as a call to you to throw down your rag rugs, also, reminding us that there are only 49 moon days to bring this not very cost effective, annual, capitalist, pagan ritual to an end. Remember your Sunday Schools. When in Rome Act As A Tourist. If we all act like fake Muslims and call ourselves IS'NT then maybe, just maybe, this Fat Red money grabbing arse can be brought to Justice and we can regain our true prospective of merriment and live free. Praise Allahn. Mucktard.
  5. Mustaphafag, this is good news as if from the lips of Allahn himself. Tilly is perfectly placed as an assassin, a most deservedly replacement for Hettie (ARHS). How quickly can you kit our troops out in this flannelette combat wear? We now have JaPatty-Annamin, Mustaffabottle Beforebedamin, me, Mucktard and your great self Mustaphafag. I'm sure Nulfilamabad The Great is watching us all from behind a single grain of sand so we don't have to worry about him. Southern "Softy" Star is an Enemy of ISNT and unless she is visited by Allahn Himself I fear she is lost to the Heathen wilderness. Keep your Japs Eye on this one! We need hardware, real hardwear, like Sinclair ZX81 hardwear. Maybe we can penetrate the web with our tackle and spread our seed of Muslim love into the hard-drives of the nation of red and green Heathen Satan Claus capitalists. Mucktard.
  6. Friend your actions are an abomination to this nation of fake Muslims and it is through your actions that we, the decent folk of this land, suffer this excruciating agony during late September and on into late December. You MUST change your path friend and deliver flowers throughout the year so as to remain neutral in this war. Better that than the certain outcome of an eternity spent in the pit of Hell for your continuous contribution to the Evil Steward Of Christmass Missery, Santa "Red John" Claus.
  7. EXACTLY. This is exactly what were up against my fellow newly converted Muslim brothers and sisters. This dominance of modern culture by this "organisation" of winter terrorists has to end. As a nation of boaters we deserve to be able to walk into any high street store during the Autumn and not be subjected to the terror of bloody tinsel and infinite duplicates of Red John bearing down on us and attacking our consciences. This has to end. This has to end before its too late. Obviously this is effecting you deeply to the point where you need to make your voice heard. Join us Cousin, you are Mustaffabottle Beforebedamin and you carry the voice of Allahn. Spread our message dear Cousin, let us unite and bring down this ruthless capitalist Black Opp red and green monster.
  8. Your in Queeny, you need to grow a beard, don some linen and change your name. Then, as this revolution unfolds we'll have the fat red git where we want him. Welcome to the organisation we call ISN'T.
  9. Mustaphafag. Brilliant Phil, bloody brilliant. Santa, AKA Red John, he isn't going to come down your chimney with a name like that, I can smell success with this one brother. Your dead right about the electric blanket clothing problem, I know, I tried it, when it was raining. Let's just say I was lucky that time. That's why I'm now carrying the coal, the cooksons and the BnM fire lighters under my skirt-like attire, it's so I can suspend a small griddle from my manhood and keep warm by lighting a small fire. Try it Phil, it really does work.So what next, we can obviously count on all our forum members temporarily suspending their Christian membership for the greater good but how, how Phil do we bring an end to this Santa madness.
  10. Running down the M1, last year, in my rubber onesie, wasn't cool. This year, we need to be cool. I'm outside right now wearing an old silk curtain on my head and an off white waterproof single mattress protector about my birthday suit and I feel cool, well, cold, but that's because I haven't got my slippers on.
  11. EXACTLY. Sir Phil, even after our forsed retreat back into the hills of Lincolnshire, YOU, ME and MANY OTHERS, are comunicating. I hear the drums of our fellow Freedom Fighter, The Nulf. His might is awakening and in that his whole being is changing the night sky. LINNEN MY FRIEND, LINNEN. Now I am a secret fakey dakey Muslim I don't have to worry about this years coal allowance......it's under my LINNEN. This year, as a fakey dakey, under my LINNEN, I've got four boxes of Cooksons Matches and fifteen boxes of BnM's Firelighters. I'm ready Sir Phil. I'm ALLAHwing myself some time this year to fight this Red John Barsteward, Evil Jimmy Saville looking Red Coated Christian King Cnut some time to make his first move. And He's played it. Game on.
  12. Last year we got it wrong, we took the fight to Santa and he won. This year we need a new strategy and I think I have thought of a beauty. That is why I have recently become a Muslim and I have taught my children to turn their pages to the right. We have changed our names to the Mucktards and have burned all of our westernised clothing and replaced them for bed linen. Now this might not be to everybodies liking but it's the only way I can see an end to this SuedoPagenChristian nightmare.
  13. It's our time to shine Sir Phil, it's our time to shine. We need numbers.
  14. Went to BnM's, caught a wiff of Evil Santa. Anybody else's nasal passages flaring?.
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