I Smell Evil Santa

[Phil Ambrose]

Japatty-Annamin, your suggestion of taking a Hi-Tech approach is a very good one, maybe better than using a Big Stick to batter the Bejeebahs out of him (but not as much fun) Your idea will be put before the ISNT planning commitee for evaluation.

Keep up the good work my true and trusty friends

 

Mustaphafag

[patty-ann]

Sugar donut sprinkle here with report:

The red geezer has team of 6 elves, I am cultivating friendship of Sugar Plum Mary who is responsible for sweet treats...purely investigative ..warm donuts with cinnamon centre and sugar encrusted coating are very pleasant as is the hot chocolate served with them. So far haven't discovered any weakness within this stronghold, but I will continue with research.

There are huge screens showing pictures from around the world updating our the team here.

Singing reindeer heads in The Range seem jolly very tacky and the beautiful garish ornamental lit up decorations are not selling.

The outfit disguise I was forced to purchase at great expense I will send in claim form for.

Regards

[Peter-Bullfinch]

Hmm...looks sheepish and a bit embarrassed. I not only mentioned Christmas but also Twelfth night and a tree in the chimney cleaning thread. It's only November too. Must I leave the forum?

[John V]

REPENT..........Join the united bretheren against the evil Red One and your indiscretions may be forgiven

[Guest]

Xmas tree is up in our local ASDA.

 

It is officially Xmas.

[Phil Ambrose]

Xmas tree is up in our local ASDA.

 

It is officially Xmas.

Looks like ASDA have aligned themselves to Red John AKA Santa Claus, we need to add them to the list of the Damned and ensure they get their just desserts and I'm not talking Donuts

Phil

[John V]

donuts? what where what flavour? Mustafanon

[John V]

I must learn not to open my big mouth

I must learn not to open my big mouth

I must learn not to open my big mouth

I must learn not to open my big mouth

I must learn not to open my big mouth

 

Mustafanon

 

See "has science gone too far" !!!!!!!!!http://www.canalworld.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=71492#entry1435401

Edited November 7, 2014 by John V

[Guest]

I smell evil Santa!

 

(NOT for the easily offended)

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vg9eZxpV3VA&app=desktop

[patty-ann]

The local paper near horror house reports that reindeer are fed special food in order to fly.

Armed with that knowledge I am substituting reindeer food for donut remnants...they are not very keen on Tescos reduced/nearing end of shelf life...may be the flavour.

[Phil Ambrose]

Oh dear,I think you may have made a boo-boo,what we do not want is for the reindeer to fly,so please revert to feeding them all manner of old crap just to slow them down (you can feed them up after we have defeated the Big Red Feller)

I have to sadly report a boater opposite me has succumbed and is under the spell of Red John,he has put rope lights on his boat.

Stay strong my mighty warriors of ISNT

Mustaphfag

[patty-ann]

No great Mustaphag i fear you misunderstand, I am substituting the food that helps them to fly for Tescos disgusting finest donut remnants, then if they develop a taste for disgusting tasty donuts they cannot fly so no flight no christmas, sometimes I think i'm the only one with brains in this outfit.

[Phil Ambrose]

Japattyannamin,please read my signature.

Mustaphafag

[patty-ann]

Oh great Mustaphafag i have read and inwardly digested your signature

I have no further comment except if future. quite clearly I must endeavour to explain in simplified form exactly what I mean, sigh.......

When I was persuaded by some eloquent human being to participate in this endeavour I didn't realise just how complicated stuff would get. However who dares wins.

Edited November 11, 2014 by patty-ann

[StarUKKiwi]

May I, once again, offer my services. I am from the other side of the world and have operatives to let me know the minute The (Red John) fella starts his trip down the International Date Line. Also have operatives in the South Pole, who are prepared to help, the dolphins have offered to assist as South Pole operatives want payment in fish.

 

I shall also contact NASA, who track the man every year. I still have the rubber suit from the effort last year, talculmed ready

 

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears! (oops, wrong line, better one might be, there's something rotten in the State of Denmark from the Scottish play

 

Anyway, I know I'm late, but fashionably so!

[Phil Ambrose]

Welcome StarUKKiwi, for our endeavors this year we have decided to adopt Islamic disguise and names to allow us to have a better chance of nabbing Red John. I have sourced a supply of Flannelette bed sheets which are superb for making robes, you may of course wear your rubber onesie under your robe if you wish (they feel nice don't they)

All you have to do now is choose a suitable name for yourself.

Musraphafag

[patty-ann]

Hiya, I'm up here in frozen north feeding reindeer telcos finest donuts...great to have you on board..word of warning the flanellette ole flappy shorts is offering is nicked from outside an old folks gaff so ever so slightly aromatic...stick to your rubber onesie but you could put fetching elf costume on top as disguise...check out the Range they have one sewn with bells for £20...put it on expenses.

[Phil Ambrose]

Brothers, the time will soon be nigh when we must gird up our loins (whatever that means) and tackle Red John AKA Santa Claus. We must start to formulate a plan so that ISNT will rise victorious in the battle against rampant commercialism and profiteering and overcome the excesses of all that Xmas brings.

So my true and trusty companions think long and hard so we may achieve victory.

Mustaphafag

[patty-ann]

To Gird Up ones loins according to the Art of Manliness means as follows...

The tunic being long and flowing does not allow for dextrous movement in battle thus

1) Hoist tunic up so that fabric above knees

2) Gather all extra material in front so that tunic is snug against your bum

3) Once excess fabric gathered in front pull it underneath and between your legs--feels much like a nappy

4) gather half the material in each hand and bring back to front

5) Finally tie up 2 handfulls and all set...go forth...take fresh courage.

[Phil Ambrose]

I thought for one moment you were going to say go forth and multiply,it's good to know Japattyannamin is taking this seriously.

Mustaphafag

[John V]

Oh bretheren, I am indeed in most great distress, when attempting to follow the most intricate and ingenious instructions of Japatty Annamin, I became most confused and distracted and now I am most dreadfully entangled

[patty-ann]

I am indeed taking our mission most seriously Mustaphafag, I am summoning up my inner recourses in preparation for action.

I do believe our undercover brother whose in great distress as we speak ought to consider a different mode of costume for this endeavour and I have acquired a suitable disguise for him. A rather fetching green tunic sewn with tiny bells that sing harmoniously, matched with green leggings and dinky elf style hat should ensure he blends with the environment. The advantage of this mode of dress is that he will not need to "gird up his loins" since he will not be hampered by voluminous material and will be ready for action.

[John V]

Oh most revered and honoured instructor, this most unworthy undercover one grovels at your feet and begs forgiveness for requesting clarification.

Being greatly unwilling to become distressingly entangled yet again, this miserable one begs to know can I use any cheap girders or are there special ones required? most respectfully Mustafanon

[patty-ann]

Time is fast approaching, Santas workshops elves on overtime.

Trying to find trade union representative so that work to rule could be imposed.

They are all on half minimum wage.

They do not seem to have trade unions.

Did u see the donut baking comp on tv last night...oops

[John V]

 

Did u see the donut baking comp on tv last night...oops

 

Missed that.....when what where who Mustafanon (PS now getting impossible to ignore the creeping tide of sparkly gee gaws and sickly adverts I fear this year we will be facing a long slow retreat mes amis)