Why is this forum becoming a joke !!!

[cheshire~rose]

Excuse me....

 

I think that should be taken as a compliment Alec ~ obviously at least one forum member is very aware of your intelligence.

[carlt]

I'm not sure the thick-skinned/thin skinned argument is appropriate. I think it has more to do with how irritating you find it all, and whether you think it necessary to respond to that irritation. The people who find meandering topics, misplaced (in whose opinion?) humour and bickering irritating can be split into two categories:

 

Those who gently, but firmly, steer us miscreants back on topic,

Those who ignore it all and go and read another topic/forum and;

Those who complain and accuse the offenders of trying to control the forum.

 

The first lot have some diplomatic wizards amongst them.

The second lot, obviously, aren't very easily spotted

and the third lot are (imho) actually the ones trying to grasp fog, and control a free flowing, entertaining, fun thing.

 

Yes it gets a bit angry and irritating at times, but that's part of the fun.

[Barbara]

I've been away and have only just read this topic. I have been a member for over 2 years and rarely post for the reasons given at the start of the thread. I have mentioned this before. It was interesting reading the thread that those who raised concerns about the the tone of replies on the site tended to be those who don't regularly post while those defending the tone were the regulars.

 

I think it is inevitable that the tone of any forum is set by the regular posters and on this site that tends to be those who are comfortable expressing themselves forcefully and who don't have thin skins. The regular female posters may not agree but the tone and nature of the some posts on this forum strike me as a bit macho and 'boys in the pub' style. The occasional posters or those who would prefer a less robust exchange then pick up this tone from the regulars and are much more circumspect in posting.

 

I think this is reflected in many situations -at work or in the school yard - where those who are unhappy with the tone of the regular or founder members of any group simply absent themselves from the conversation.

 

I suppose the answer is for the rest of us to make the effort to post more regularly and politely and thereby change the overall tone and create a forum where it becomes unacceptable to be gratuitously rude to other posters. But whether we will make the effort to do that is a moot point.

[BigRoj]

Like Barbara above, I have just returned from 10 days away on the boat and have just read this thread.

When I first joined I did think the same as Simon, the OP, as I read through the various posts the same names cropped up who appeared to be arguing anything and everything whether valid or not. But as in life, it's only a minority who are causing ill feeling, and in the same vein, if you ignore them they go away, eventually.

It can be a bit off-putting for 'newbies' but I'm sure most of us make them welcome as we've all been there and know how intimidating it can be when you imagine there are loads of 'experts' on here when in fact it's just people with slightly more experience!!!

[Janet S]

The regular female posters may not agree but the tone and nature of the some posts on this forum strike me as a bit macho and 'boys in the pub' style.

 

Perhaps, but speaking as a female, every time I've asked a serious question, and even some slightly silly ones, I've had nothing but polite and good responses and have been treated with the utmost respect. Most of the arguments seem to spring from the more technical sections, such as electrics or (dare I say it?) galvanic isolators. It must be a "man" thing! You should try being one of the few females on an angling forum if you want to see what "macho" is! On this forum they are just pussycats!

 

I suppose the answer is for the rest of us to make the effort to post more regularly and politely and thereby change the overall tone and create a forum where it becomes unacceptable to be gratuitously rude to other posters. But whether we will make the effort to do that is a moot point.

 

Yes, it would be nice if some more joined in. It's obvious from the membership that there are a lot of people who read but don't contribute, and are missing out by not doing so. Most of us do try to welcome new members.

 

It will never be perfect, nothing is (apart from chocolate....) but compared with other forums, it's one of the best. Yes, there are a few who just love to start an argument, but it doesn't take long to suss them out and learn to ignore them.

 

I do hope you'll stay with us, and that more will join us. For the most part, it is as it says, a virtual waterways community, and all are welcome.

 

Janet

[Barbara]

Perhaps, but speaking as a female, every time I've asked a serious question, and even some slightly silly ones, I've had nothing but polite and good responses and have been treated with the utmost respect. Most of the arguments seem to spring from the more technical sections, such as electrics or (dare I say it?) galvanic isolators. It must be a "man" thing! You should try being one of the few females on an angling forum if you want to see what "macho" is! On this forum they are just pussycats!

Yes, it would be nice if some more joined in. It's obvious from the membership that there are a lot of people who read but don't contribute, and are missing out by not doing so. Most of us do try to welcome new members.

 

It will never be perfect, nothing is (apart from chocolate....) but compared with other forums, it's one of the best. Yes, there are a few who just love to start an argument, but it doesn't take long to suss them out and learn to ignore them.

 

I do hope you'll stay with us, and that more will join us. For the most part, it is as it says, a virtual waterways community, and all are welcome.

 

Janet

 

 

Oh I'll definitely stay. I've been reading the posts regularly since I joined and you're right, there are a lot of knowledgeable and helpful people on here. I think the issue is whether people like me will start posting more or just continue to leave the dialogue to the regulars.

[carlt]

as I read through the various posts the same names cropped up who appeared to be arguing anything and everything whether valid or not. But as in life, it's only a minority who are causing ill feeling

I think this thread has evolved with no ill feeling (the usual bickerers actually agreeing here, whilst continuing to disagree elsewhere on the site). It's demonstrated good humour, some of it even funny.

 

People need to stop taking everything so seriously and join in, instead of tut tutting on the sidelines. If you want to influence the way this site grows, get posting.

[cheshire~rose]

It will never be perfect, nothing is (apart from chocolate....)

 

Janet

 

There is something else we can all agree on!

[saltysplash]

I've been away and have only just read this topic. I have been a member for over 2 years and rarely post for the reasons given at the start of the thread. I have mentioned this before. It was interesting reading the thread that those who raised concerns about the the tone of replies on the site tended to be those who don't regularly post while those defending the tone were the regulars.I think it is inevitable that the tone of any forum is set by the regular posters and on this site that tends to be those who are comfortable expressing themselves forcefully and who don't have thin skins. The regular female posters may not agree but the tone and nature of the some posts on this forum strike me as a bit macho and 'boys in the pub' style. The occasional posters or those who would prefer a less robust exchange then pick up this tone from the regulars and are much more circumspect in posting. I think this is reflected in many situations -at work or in the school yard - where those who are unhappy with the tone of the regular or founder members of any group simply absent themselves from the conversation. I suppose the answer is for the rest of us to make the effort to post more regularly and politely and thereby change the overall tone and create a forum where it becomes unacceptable to be gratuitously rude to other posters. But whether we will make the effort to do that is a moot point.

I must be one of the few newbies who have posted on this thread in disagreement with the topic, I have found the forum informative and amusing. Have seen one or two heated replies but on the whole most done in good taste and with power of conviction. What has been noticable on this particular thread is the number of folk who say they dont post regularly because of.....well, you have posted and not been beaten in doing so, so maybe that shows thats fings aint as bad as you fink. Lets hear your oppinion. it does count

.It will never be perfect, nothing is (apart from chocolate....)Janet

even with salmonella?

[Machpoint005]

I don't insist, I just say 'darter' cos that's the way I say it. But I expect you'll be annoyed by me anyway ................................

 

Not at all, Chris: my poor choice of words. It's just that when someone pronounces it darter, it seems as if my dayter is correcting them - which it isn't! Vive la difference.

 

Ian

[Jason Wilson and Family]

I'm starting to think the problem here is the lurkers haven't had enough BEEEER! The regulars all seem to have had enough to jump into the bowels of hell if only to check Hob's lectric work for the sake of conversation.

 

This message brought to you by a lack of sleep and an excess of arguing about the dread global warming and accompanying scams.

[lymmranger]

I supose that if this forum were a real life meeting place (pub?) then the tone would alter...

 

In a pub alot of posters would end up being dragged into the car park!!!!

 

The beauty of the internet is that you can say exactly what you think, with very little fear of retribution!

 

.......some (superheros) like myself go to great lengths to "assume" an alter ego (and get "gobby" with it)

 

On the whole you "shy guys" should jump in.........

 

But do pause and check what you are about to post before pressing that button!!!!!!

 

[tomsk]

I supose that if this forum were a real life meeting place (pub?) then the tone would alter...

 

In a pub alot of posters would end up being dragged into the car park!!!!

 

The beauty of the internet is that you can say exactly what you think, with very little fear of retribution!

 

.......some (superheros) like myself go to great lengths to "assume" an alter ego (and get "gobby" with it)

 

On the whole you "shy guys" should jump in.........

 

But do pause and check what you are about to post before pressing that button!!!!!!

 

 

Agreed... The tone of some posts are confrontational at the very least, mostly without the mitigating humour element that might allow such aggression to go unchallenged... There are, it must be said, a few people who would come seriously unstuck 'down the local' if there lofty and self-righteous pronouncements were aired face to face.

[carlt]

Agreed... The tone of some posts are confrontational at the very least, mostly without the mitigating humour element that might allow such aggression to go unchallenged... There are, it must be said, a few people who would come seriously unstuck 'down the local' if there lofty and self-righteous pronouncements were aired face to face.

methinks, though the same could be said of me.

[tomsk]

methinks, though the same could be said of me.

 

Hopefully I include the aforesaid 'mitigating humour element' in my posts if not, apologies.

 

I find your post deeply offensive, are you 'with beard'?

[carlt]

Hopefully I include the aforesaid 'mitigating humour element' in my posts if not, apologies.

 

I find your post deeply offensive, are you 'with beard'?

No I shaved it off last night. SWMBO said I wasn't allowed to go on holidays on Friday unless I got rid of the facial fungus and cut my hair too.

 

I think we've both found to our costs, from time to time, that the beauty of mitigating humour, is very much in the eye of the beholder.

[mayalld]

I supose that if this forum were a real life meeting place (pub?) then the tone would alter...

 

In a pub alot of posters would end up being dragged into the car park!!!!

 

The beauty of the internet is that you can say exactly what you think, with very little fear of retribution!

 

.......some (superheros) like myself go to great lengths to "assume" an alter ego (and get "gobby" with it)

 

On the whole you "shy guys" should jump in.........

 

But do pause and check what you are about to post before pressing that button!!!!!!

 

It always strikes me as odd you know.

 

Whenever there is a discussion about posting style, it is opined that some people would behave differently face to face for fear of being taken outside for a good hiding, and that it is only the anonymity of the net that permits them to be outspoken.

 

Well, let me throw that one back at you. If this were a face to face discussion in a pub, people would be far more reticent about suggesting that a good hiding in the car park might ensue. It cuts both ways!

 

As to anonymity, sorry but I don't do that. I am told that I am confrontational, and apparently would be one of the ones in line for a trip to the car park, yet I don't feel any need for anonymity. My name, the name of my boat, and where I moor are all freely available. Were then is the baying lynch mob?

[carlt]

It always strikes me as odd you know.

 

Whenever there is a discussion about posting style, it is opined that some people would behave differently face to face for fear of being taken outside for a good hiding, and that it is only the anonymity of the net that permits them to be outspoken.

 

Well, let me throw that one back at you. If this were a face to face discussion in a pub, people would be far more reticent about suggesting that a good hiding in the car park might ensue. It cuts both ways!

 

As to anonymity, sorry but I don't do that. I am told that I am confrontational, and apparently would be one of the ones in line for a trip to the car park, yet I don't feel any need for anonymity. My name, the name of my boat, and where I moor are all freely available. Were then is the baying lynch mob?

Don't these people go to the pub for a good, strong discussion about life, politics and the world in general?

 

The winter nights must fly by.......

[Nine of Hearts]

Just a thought.. Where does one go if one gets involved in a "heated debate" in a car park? Back in the pub?

[carlt]

Just a thought.. Where does one go if one gets involved in a "heated debate" in a car park? Back in the pub?

Of course, they're far more entertaining when a beer is involved.

[saltysplash]

It always strikes me as odd you know.

 

Whenever there is a discussion about posting style, it is opined that some people would behave differently face to face for fear of being taken outside for a good hiding, and that it is only the anonymity of the net that permits them to be outspoken.

 

Well, let me throw that one back at you. If this were a face to face discussion in a pub, people would be far more reticent about suggesting that a good hiding in the car park might ensue. It cuts both ways!

 

As to anonymity, sorry but I don't do that. I am told that I am confrontational, and apparently would be one of the ones in line for a trip to the car park, yet I don't feel any need for anonymity. My name, the name of my boat, and where I moor are all freely available. Were then is the baying lynch mob?

 

Totally agree

These days in order to win a discussion you have to beat the other party into a pulp. Its obviously the easiest way to put your point across and not having to listen to any other point of view.

 

If anyone not happy with my opinion then i am more than happy for them to come knocking on the wheelhouse and discuss the issues over a jar of something. If its to give me a damn good thrashing then id rather you didnt bother.....are we still allowed to use all possible means to Repel Boarders?

[tomsk]

Totally agree

These days in order to win a discussion you have to beat the other party into a pulp. Its obviously the easiest way to put your point across and not having to listen to any other point of view.

 

If anyone not happy with my opinion then i am more than happy for them to come knocking on the wheelhouse and discuss the issues over a jar of something. If its to give me a damn good thrashing then id rather you didnt bother.....are we still allowed to use all possible means to Repel Boarders?

 

This is not what I meant at all, but never mind... I have occasionally got out of my pram, just to show people that it is entirely possible that some idiot may come and find them... and it's very easy to find someone if you really want to.... All very well saying come and find me but has the reality of the situation really struck home... I don't want some crazed random turning up at my door thank you very much, either for a pint or a spot of the old fisticuffs...

[saltysplash]

This is not what I meant at all, but never mind... I have occasionally got out of my pram, just to show people that it is entirely possible that some idiot may come and find them... and it's very easy to find someone if you really want to.... All very well saying come and find me but has the reality of the situation really struck home... I don't want some crazed random turning up at my door thank you very much, either for a pint or a spot of the old fisticuffs...

 

lol I certainly wouldnt be happy with anyone coming acalling just to have a bust up, (swivel gun and a canister of grape at the ready) but am always happy if someone fancies a chat and a brew, unless of course im having a moment with swmbo while she prises spiders from me beard or is giving the petticoat a new coat of varnish

[Carrie]

I just read Barbara's posting about the macho slant to some discussions. I agree completely but would urge anyone (male and female) to challenge that and not sit back and accept the situation. Allowing that kind of chat to dominate and silence you, means other women get to feel domintaed and silenced too. The sooner someone's gender becomes a complete irrelevance to a boating discussion, the better (unless discussing something clearly gender-based, like peeing standing-up on a boat, for example!).

So - let's not talk about working out differences in the pub car-park! Who's for a killer game of chess then?

[Alec Gatherer]

Definitely. More female involvement. I'll vote for that. There's loads of things on a boat that need ironing.