bizzard Posted May 15, 2016 Report Share Posted May 15, 2016 I wonder why tooth brushes are not called teeth brushes, most folk have more than only one tooth, don't they? I'm personally not a fan of electric tooth brushes, I don't like noisy buzzin gizmos and much prefer to do it in the conventional way. However for the gizmo fans here's how to make a powerful electric tooth-teeth brush, a tooth brush that will scrub, rub, descale and burnish your toofies up like new again transforming those yellowed and tarnished old gnashers into flashing, gleaming, brilliant white smiley gnashers that you may have once had. Well, those annoying little buzzing gadgets driven by a battery are no good at all, you need something much more powerful to do the job, preferable driven by mains electricity. Simple. A JIGSAW is the answer, If you have one, if not they are quite cheap to buy and easily adaptable for the purpose of tooth or teeth brushing. Here's how. First of all we must convert an ordinary conventional non motorized tooth brush to fit into the blade attachment of the jigsaw and to do this clamp both toothbrush handle and a jigsaw blade together in a vice and file around the profile of the blade attachment bit filing away at the plastic toothbrush handle until it assumes the exact same shape. Remove from vice, chuck the blade aside and attach the toothbrush to the jigsaw and plug it in for a test run. The brush should judder back and forth rapidly like a piston. The next step is the real thing. Oh! I forgot, for learners of this art I recommend using a jigsaw with a variable speed control trigger so that a slow and gentle start can be made, as you become expert at it the speed can be increased until your fully proficient with it when full power can be applied. Non variable speed, immediate full speed jigsaw tooth brushes are for experts only. Apply your favourite tooth paste to the brush, Farecla, T-cut, carborundum valve grinding paste or even soot from the chimney are all recommended, the choice is yours. Hang over the sink and offer up the machine to you gob, apply finger pressure gently to the trigger for a slow start up slowly and gradually increasing the speed until the ideal brushing action and speed are found, judder!!judder!!judder!!judder!!judder!!judder!!judder!!judder!!judder!!judder!!judder!!judder!! and so on until they're done. You may be left all atremble for a short while afterwards but its worth it. Sit down and relax for a bit until it wears off. For folk who are unfortunate to have irregular, jumbled up teeth of various shapes and sizes, like a rocky landscape or a Stepney bomb site I recommend a slightly more expensive jigsaw, the type with what I call ''the galloping blade motion'' instead of the ones where the blade just goes up and down, one of those will ensure that all the nooks and crannies have been ''got at''. To finish of your teeth-tooth cleaning a fine toothed hacksaw blade inserted to the machine and applied to the gaps between the teeth which will clean out any trapped muck which the brush may have left behind. That's about it folks. I'm off to the dentist tomorrow to have a wisdom tooth put in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray T Posted May 15, 2016 Report Share Posted May 15, 2016 Didn't work for me - you will be receiving a solicitors letter in the post next week...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Rose Posted May 15, 2016 Report Share Posted May 15, 2016 I think I'll pass thanks. I suspect you're off to the dentist tomorrow to be measured up for a complete set of false teeth to replace the set of real ones that have now been ruined. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BargeeSpud Posted May 15, 2016 Report Share Posted May 15, 2016 With my background, I'm keeping schtum on this latest edition of Bizzard's Essential DIY. I'll just sit back & enjoy the craik. Keep it coming Mr B! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueStringPudding Posted May 15, 2016 Report Share Posted May 15, 2016 Bizzard. Didn't work for me - you will be receiving a solicitors letter in the post next week...... Ray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray T Posted May 15, 2016 Report Share Posted May 15, 2016 Bizzard, I've just twigged, did you design the Top Gear food blender? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loafer Posted May 15, 2016 Report Share Posted May 15, 2016 I'm a mug and keep trying Bizz's ideas. There isn't much of me left! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueStringPudding Posted May 15, 2016 Report Share Posted May 15, 2016 Bizzard, I've just twigged, did you design the Top Gear food blender? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDlMLqdvHzI :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loafer Posted May 15, 2016 Report Share Posted May 15, 2016 I'm wondering if Bizzard IS Jeremy Clarkson! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bee Posted May 15, 2016 Report Share Posted May 15, 2016 The Black and Decker DIY dentistry set, theres an idea for Christmas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulG Posted May 16, 2016 Report Share Posted May 16, 2016 Good job you don't work for Ann Summers, Biz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattlad Posted May 16, 2016 Report Share Posted May 16, 2016 Good job you don't work for Ann Summers, Biz A V8 adult pleasure toy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rendelf Posted July 7, 2016 Report Share Posted July 7, 2016 I did broke my lady's dildo trying to file it to took like a U-shank. Now she's using mine. But I do find that a small dish-brush mounted in a battery drill gives me tegs a nice shine, and the rotisimal action is sooo much less pain-stabbing, than a plastic piston, which left my mouth dripping. Tcut stings regardless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patty-ann Posted July 7, 2016 Report Share Posted July 7, 2016 Dear Mr Bizzard, Thank you for sharing your latest invention. I now had an excuse to purchase a jig saw..does it have any other uses as I have a few D-I-Y disasters that need a certain something to put right? Regards Patty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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