If I Knew You Were Coming

[bizzard]

Making a scrumptious fruit cake without any form of heating or baking. Cold cooking is the way to go.

Depending on how large you want to make this cake buy the appropriate amount of packets of plain Digestive biscuits.

A saucepan or a cake tin will do to make it in.

Remove the biscuits from the packing and fill up an old sock with them. Now you can either go about beating the sock of biscuits against brick walls or keep welting is with a club hammer or rolling pin. Whichever method you use smash up the biscuits good and proper, until they are reduced to crunchy crumbs.

Empty these biscuit crumbs into the cake tin or saucepan. With a stick mix in your favorite ingreedients like, currents, raisins, sultanas, mixed fruit, crushed nuts ect.

Find a lid which fits accurately INSIDE the top of the cake tin or saucepan and press down with all your force to compress the cake mixture. Continual pressure needs to be applied for about 24 hours so I suggest putting a few bricks upon the lid then place the whole thing upon your most comfy chair and sit on it watching the telly, reading ect. The best cold cake making people are the heavy weights as the more the mixture is compressed obviously the firmer and more solid will the cake turn out to be.

When its been sat on for about 24 hours empty it out of the tin, it will be all lovely firm and professional looking and decorate if need be in your favorite fashion. Ice, sprinkle hundreds and thousands on it, whatever.

Bon appetite.

[BlueStringPudding]

So is the whole thing just held together with pressure of stellar proportions? Wouldn't a bit of melted butter help for wussy gurls such as meself?

[bizzard]

So is the whole thing just held together with pressure of stellar proportions? Wouldn't a bit of melted butter help for wussy gurls such as meself?

If the weight or person that's sitting on it is heavy enough some of the juices will be squashed out of the fruit which will bind it all together as it will you when you eat it. Marzipan is too rich for me.

[matty40s]

With the sock being used as the primary holding venue for the mashing bit....... is this a form of cheesecake.

[Athy]

Matty, I reckon you have just put dozens of forum members off trying this recipe.

Greeno awarded!

[BlueStringPudding]

You've put me off cheesecake, Matty, and that's quite an achievement.

 

Nah, not really. I LURVE my cheesecake

[bizzard]

You've put me off cheesecake, Matty, and that's quite an achievement.

 

Nah, not really. I LURVE my cheesecake

While we're on about cheese. A tasty and simple little snack to nosh with a cup of tea can be knocked up by spreading Primula cheese spread on a plain chocolate suggestive biscuit, sandwiching it with another, chocolate sides inwards.

[blackrose]

Cake made with an old sock and a stick (found on the towpath?)

 

I'm not coming round to yours for tea Bizzard.

[Guest]

You've put me off cheesecake, Matty, and that's quite an achievement.

Nah, not really. I LURVE my cheesecake

Just waded through a portion of Key Lime cheesecake, surprisingly good at only £2.50 from our local ASDA - recommended.

[BlueStringPudding]

 

Now I want cheesecake I haven't got.

 

Forbidden cheeeesecaaaake.

[Caprifool]

Forbidden cheeeesecaaaake.

Is the best cheesecake.

[bizzard]

I don't think cake should be called cake. The word 'cake' doesn't sound right to me but sounds a sort of adhering and unshiftable jambing word that could cause blockage, severe indigestion, palpitations, constipation nausea and lethargy.

[HappyBunny]

hmmm I am still trying to catch one of my socks to try this recipe .....

[bizzard]

hmmm I am still trying to catch one of my socks to try this recipe .....

Yes the longer it takes catching the sock the better. The reward is extra flavour enhancement

[i love my narrowboat]

Making a scrumptious fruit cake without any form of heating or baking. Cold cooking is the way to go.

Depending on how large you want to make this cake buy the appropriate amount of packets of plain Digestive biscuits.

A saucepan or a cake tin will do to make it in.

Remove the biscuits from the packing and fill up an old sock with them. Now you can either go about beating the sock of biscuits against brick walls or keep welting is with a club hammer or rolling pin. Whichever method you use smash up the biscuits good and proper, until they are reduced to crunchy crumbs.

Empty these biscuit crumbs into the cake tin or saucepan. With a stick mix in your favorite ingreedients like, currents, raisins, sultanas, mixed fruit, crushed nuts ect.

Find a lid which fits accurately INSIDE the top of the cake tin or saucepan and press down with all your force to compress the cake mixture. Continual pressure needs to be applied for about 24 hours so I suggest putting a few bricks upon the lid then place the whole thing upon your most comfy chair and sit on it watching the telly, reading ect. The best cold cake making people are the heavy weights as the more the mixture is compressed obviously the firmer and more solid will the cake turn out to be.

When its been sat on for about 24 hours empty it out of the tin, it will be all lovely firm and professional looking and decorate if need be in your favorite fashion. Ice, sprinkle hundreds and thousands on it, whatever.

Bon appetite.

hahahhahhaha Bizzard you are a card, from reading the first few words, I was not sure if you were joking :-) brilliant and look at all the food you will save now when unwanted guests turn up lol . if we ever meet I will drink to your health , but.... I will bring my own drink

[Suzie_q]

"If I knew you were coming I'd have squashed a cake"

 

Doesn't quite have the same ring about it.

[tree]

I don't think cake should be called cake. The word 'cake' doesn't sound right to me but sounds a sort of adhering and unshiftable jambing word that could cause blockage, severe indigestion, palpitations, constipation nausea and lethargy. ..... Master Bizzard moi has had a flash of inspiration !! ow about swopping the word of 'cake' ...to 'yummyness' ie chocolate yummyness, banana and walnut yummyness ??? wot to you think ??? the thought of all this 'yummyness ' is indeedly making ,moi tummy grumble for some tasty yummyness to go with my cup of tea