Regret.

[Tiny]

[/color]

Bluddy Hell, I had some of those half a century ago. Iremember that my green one always sank to the bottom rolled over and just released a series of bubbles.

Try rice grains in lemonade - that works like a submarine

And for a 20' volcano on firework night pour a tube of mentos into a (fixed firmly upright) bottle of coke and retire rapidly just as you would if it was a very powerful firework.

[sueb]

Never,just the result of Morgans spiced rum.

Things were lookin a bit humdrum today so,i thought i'd put folk on their toes.

My micro-wave bed is still undergoing development though. bizzard

you need some Cornish rum for really original thinking. 71.6%

[bizzard]

you need some Cornish rum for really original thinking. 71.6%

Not heard of that. Never thought much of any Cornish alcohol i'm afraid.

I have a train waiting at Colchester that i'm driving on my train simulator so mustn't drink until i go off duty at Norwich.

Passengers will be getting anxious must go. Daaaa--daaaa. bizzard

[WotEver]

And for a 20' volcano on firework night pour a tube of mentos into a (fixed firmly upright) bottle of coke...

 

Or use several bottles for more impact.

 

[Tiny]

Or use several bottles for more impact.

 

 

 

Thank you - currently with the special offers on diet coke you could manage a similar display for £70 as opposed to the thousands for fireworks.

[bizzard]

Good that.

Right lets get back to the job in hand.

This bit will probably 'reveal' this method of propulsion.Obtain a long metal tube,ie cast iron drain pipe or for the more affluent stainless steel,something like 6'' dia. The length of which is determined by the distance from inside your stove to the stern counter,transom or whatever.On my vessel it would be about 25' .Weld a cap on the stove end,leave stern end open.

Now the next bit is a little destructive to those with boats with an integral fuel tank.Older boats with tanks on Port and Starboard 'no problem'. Drain fuel off,steam out vapour.At this point hoist stern of vessel up with a tackle or a Spanish windlass,using strong rope works well,use a convenient over bridge for this operation,preferably on a quiet section of waterway,and post some look outs just in case.Flame,lazer- cut or drill holes and join up with jig saw,whichever is best for you,in both front of tank and counter,hole must straddle the waterline.Shove pipe through and seal around,lower boat down and dispense with look outs.

The angle of slope 'downhill towards the stern,only slight, is very important.And the beauty of this form of propulsion is that you can flip your existing engine over on its side,as the pipe should comfortably pass over it then and so retain your original set up for emergencies only.

Now with pipe in place adjust up and down by moving stove up and down so that water flows up the pipe and just reaches the pipes end cap.

You must all know whats coming by now,however i'll press on. Once again forage around for lots of nice dry sticks.

To be continued. bizzard.

[BlueStringPudding]

Actually I'm starting to enjoy these ramblings. Waterways World meets Discworld, hosted by Spike Milligan.

Me too. And your analogy is spot on! I look forward to these Bizzard gems

 

[/color]

Bluddy Hell, I had some of those half a century ago. Iremember that my green one always sank to the bottom rolled over and just released a series of bubbles.

I had one from a cereal packet that did that

[bizzard]

Right lets go.

Now the power output of this propulsion unit is dependent on how big the fire is.The only other throttle adjustment is you and your crew's weight deployment.I will explain the intricases of that operation in the next installment.

Now bung a load of sticks in the stove and light blue touch paper,as the fireworks labels say.

Then more sticks and then coal if you wish.you will need to get the pipe end glowing red hot.

Now nip outside and unleash the boat,making sure all is clear ahead,for a few miles at least.Put the most alert and dare devilish member of your crew on the tiller.

Soon strange noises from the pipe will become audible,a sort of surging bubbling sound,and then suddenly PHUT!PHUT!boat will shoot forward with a huge leap,and your OFF! PHUT--pause-PHUT!--pause-PPUUTT!---pause--PPPUUUTTT!and then should settle down to quite a musical but unsteady syncopating PPPP- UUU- UTTT- TT!every few seconds,''eat your heart out Bolinders''.This behaviour will cause the vessel to JERK along through the water in big leaps,kangaroo style.This can't be helped i'm afraid but it does add to the novelty of it,and once over the initial shock of the exuberance of the motion,you'll love it.

Now let's explain whats happening in ''The Tube''.As soon as the tube end in the stove became red hot,the water flashed like lightening into high pressure 'Flash steam,'huge expansion,and its only way of escape is rearwards and out of the pipe,and thus whamming against the water outside,and shoving the boat along.When That PHUT has died away,water runs back up the pipe to the stove,hits the red hot end and the action is repeated. Next bit will be taming it and methods of stopping.To be continued bizzard.

[Robin2]

Now let's explain whats happening in ''The Tube''.As soon as the tube end in the stove became red hot,the water flashed like lightening into high pressure 'Flash steam,'huge expansion,and its only way of escape is rearwards and out of the pipe,and thus whamming against the water outside,and shoving the boat along.When That PHUT has died away,water runs back up the pipe to the stove,hits the red hot end and the action is repeated. Next bit will be taming it and methods of stopping.To be continued bizzard.

 

I hope you don't think this is a new idea. The Nazis used something similar in the V1 doodlebugs (air rather than water, of course).

[bizzard]

I hope you don't think this is a new idea. The Nazis used something similar in the V1 doodlebugs (air rather than water, of course).

They were powered by a sort of enormous petrol blowlamp.

I've already hinted, and am surprised no one's sussed it yet.It was used in toy tin boats with a meta-block or night light candle under the tube.Sold at fairgrounds and the like as carnival toy novelties,but uncontrollable.But mine becomes controllable after a bit of practice i hope. bizzard

[Tiny]

They were powered by a sort of enormous petrol blowlamp.

I've already hinted, and am surprised no one's sussed it yet.It was used in toy tin boats with a meta-block or night light candle under the tube.Sold at fairgrounds and the like as carnival toy novelties,but uncontrollable.But mine becomes controllable after a bit of practice i hope. bizzard

They used a lady test pilot on V1s. She was a top pilot in Germany test flying everything. She later got the job of ferrying Hitler and less folk out of Berlin taking off from a bit of land under fire but leaving Hitler. Her autobiography is fascinating.

 

The germans also had the first rocket powered fighter - the comet - that was so fast it rarely shot down slow bombers. It also could blow up if the hydrazine hydrate got mixed wrong on ignition. Of one pilot they only found one foot in a boot in a tree some distance from his exploded plane. The comet took off, climbed, criused along at 550 mph then, when the fuel ran out it, like the space shuttle became a glider. Gorings first sight of one was it flashing by silently at 400 mph shedding speed to land. When told it was aglider he commented that when they put an engine in it they would have a world beater. The hydrazine hydrate mixture was also used in the booster rocket that got V1s up to speed on takeoff for them not to stall and fall as they long range pulse jets did not give enough thrust for fast acceleration.

[bizzard]

They used a lady test pilot on V1s. She was a top pilot in Germany test flying everything. She later got the job of ferrying Hitler and less folk out of Berlin taking off from a bit of land under fire but leaving Hitler. Her autobiography is fascinating.

 

The germans also had the first rocket powered fighter - the comet - that was so fast it rarely shot down slow bombers. It also could blow up if the hydrazine hydrate got mixed wrong on ignition. Of one pilot they only found one foot in a boot in a tree some distance from his exploded plane. The comet took off, climbed, criused along at 550 mph then, when the fuel ran out it, like the space shuttle became a glider. Gorings first sight of one was it flashing by silently at 400 mph shedding speed to land. When told it was aglider he commented that when they put an engine in it they would have a world beater. The hydrazine hydrate mixture was also used in the booster rocket that got V1s up to speed on takeoff for them not to stall and fall as they long range pulse jets did not give enough thrust for fast acceleration.

Fascinating. Brave lady! The V1 Doodle bug's take off along its launching ramp on a trolley, which fell away on take off and was also assisted by steam powered catapult,as were sometimes used to launch spotter seaplanes from warships. bizzard

[Robin2]

assisted by steam powered catapult,as were sometimes used to launch spotter seaplanes from warships

 

They still use them on modern aircraft carriers. I read somewhere they can launch a plane at flying speed (in 3 seconds I think) even with the brakes on.

[bizzard]

They still use them on modern aircraft carriers. I read somewhere they can launch a plane at flying speed (in 3 seconds I think) even with the brakes on.

Bly me,lets hope that they don't forget to put the pilots head restraint in place. bizzard

[bizzard]

You should be well under weigh by now, PHUT-PHUTTING along quite merrily. Everyone enthralled by this state of the art propulsion method,walkers and boaters alike.Don't get carried away with the fascination of it all though,like celebrating your achievement with alcohol,this could be fatal.No, keep sober and a good look out ahead.

Now as i think i explained earlier,its advantageous to have enlisted a heavy crew,as it could be a life saver when it becomes apparent that you need to apply the brakes!Lock gates looming up fast for instance,or another boat stuck across the fairway,steering by mistake into a Cul-de'sac,all these kinds of nuisances getting in the way can be quite exciting, but can bring the maiden voyage to an very abrupt and violent end 'Death and destruction all around'.

Okay,warning over.Lets imagine that you have driven into a cul-de-sac,cut off at the end by an enormous stone wall,with onlookers sitting on it egging you on.

First of all everyone run to the stern end of the boat,this should arrest the 'PHUTTING' reaction by preventing the water from reaching the hot end of the pipe in the stove.I forgot to mention that its wise to fit a very large fender to the bows,a tractor innertube for exanple.Boat should now be slowing up nicely.you'll need to judge it so that you strike the wall at about 10mph as the inertia of the blow will rebound the boat some way back along the cul-de-sac and so save a lot of effort with the boat pole.A form of reverse thrust is on the drawing board at this very moment,which should help out with this slight problem.

Now assuming your PHUT PHUTTING along merrily and all is clear ahead.This is the time to experiment with gentle alterations of speed. To be contiued. bizzard.

 

,

 

I forgot to mention; that if there are any budding gymnasts on board that may be up to Olympic standard,they can practice their ''Beam routine''on the pipe whilst under way. bizzard.

[nbfiresprite]

I'm sorry but it has been introduced by Npower.

An industial unit I own has been empty for 3 months but Npower want £228.18 for the 1,266 units of electricity that these dark bulb have used.

 

Alex

Best nip down and have a poke around, You may find some `Low Life` has wired his mains into yours and you have ended up with the bill.

 

Firesprite

 

In the peace of the Fens

Edited August 16, 2011 by nbfiresprite

[bizzard]

Best nip down and have a poke around, You may find some `Low Life` has wired his mains into yours and you have ended up with the bill.

 

Firesprite

 

In the peace of the Fens

It might not always be peaceful,cos if the Hire boat companies adopt my propulsion method.

They could be PHUT PHUTTING past you frequently. bizzard

[nbfiresprite]

It might not always be peaceful,cos if the Hire boat companies adopt my propulsion method.

They could be PHUT PHUTTING past you frequently. bizzard

 

The Fenland Watermans Club will tinfish any boat speeding pass their moorings, Just have

a look in their yard. Plus a large bung shoved down your funnel, no more phut. Part from

that we only six hireboats in the Fens anyway.

 

 

Firesprite

 

Beat to quarters `number one` and load `S.A.P`

[bizzard]

Best nip down and have a poke around, You may find some `Low Life` has wired his mains into yours and you have ended up with the bill.

 

Firesprite

 

In the peace of the Fens

I'll be explaining how to control the speed in the next installment.

With a name like Firespite you should have one fitted,shake em up a bit around there. Up spirits. Regs bizzard.

[The Anonymous Bard]

Edited: 'cos it really aint worth it, lol.

Edited August 18, 2011 by The Anonymous Bard

[bizzard]

Okay then.here we go again.Up spirits.

Now that we're PHUT-PHUTTING happily along in a carefree manner,with drinks flowing in celebration,the gymnast still performing her beam routine,and its all clear ahead,we can now practice some manouvers. The rudder should work fine as its in the slip stream of the water pulses.An equalibrium has to be discovered by trial and error.Its a balance between the intensity of the fire and the positioning of the crew. But as the gymnast trots up and down the pipe you should notice that as she nears the stove,the boat goes a little faster and when her feet start burning she'll hop skip and jump where the pipes cooler,'towards the stern end'. Anyway,her going forward speeds the boat up and going back towards the stern slows it down.

She's altering the water level flowing up and down the pipe.Now if the fire's really built up to a white hot inferno and everyone moves forward,About 30mph should be possible. To slow to a standstill,sprinkle a little salt on the fire and everyone run aft including the gymnast.This should gradually stop the water from reaching the stove,and the PHUT-PHUT-PHUTTING should subside, probably with one enormous PHUT!.But don't be alarmed by this,its quite normal.

To restart the PHUTTING reaction,all start wandering forward.Or for a nice gentle start dispatch the gymnast up along the pipe first.

Its all a matter of balance.

Stopping in an emergency is another matter. Tie a drogue or sea anchor to a length of rope,an umbrella works well,tie this on and chuck out over the stern.Dowse the fire with salt and crew all run aft.You should pull up in about a quarter mile.Its all simply a matter of judgment. To be continued. bizzard.

[bizzard]

Just a little pre-amble to guide folk towards the final installment. A clue.

Any train buffs out there may have heard about this little gem of brilliant innovation on behalf of the old Midland railway company.It all took place at St Pancras station in London shortly after it was built.

The Midland hotel which occupied most of the main building at the time and indeed has be refurbished and reopened as such.

Well it needed copious amounts of water pumped up to all the cisterns in the loft area's,as the mains water pressure couldn't cope, to feed taps,baths and all the rest of it.Well quite simple,steam pumps were the common method or even electric pumps were possible in those days,but no.The Midland Railway decided to do it for free,well installation costs only,and the method was used i believe for a number of years,until it was deemed as dangerous.

You've all seen the huge long hydraulic buffer stops at the platform ends at termini' stations,this is what they used.

Instead of using oil for the retarding effect they used water,sucked into them via one way valves, from huge tanks below.

Here's the amazing bit.Engine drivers were instead of stopping short of the buffers as is normal practice,after all they're only there for an emergency. told to strike them hardish on their arrival and so force water up into the loft cisterns,rebound a little as the buffers also had return springs in them an so suck up more water ready for the next train arrival.Incredible eh.Can you imagine that performance being allowed today. bizzard

[bizzard]

Correction to the above.

They were independant .They drew the water from their own Artesian well down below.bizzard.

[bizzard]

Sorry about the delay folks.

Have been working the old grey matter overtime,cooking up a method to make the Phutt Phutt boat go backwards,

Well i think i've solved the problem at last.

It all has a bearing on the hydraulic buffer story written above.

Instead of water or oil being the hydraulic medium,i've decided that it will be air,as this is compressable and liquids aren't,well not much anyway.

A large high pressure tank ''receiver''is required,and one large British Rail hydraulic buffer.

Mount buffer on front of boat pointing forward,and connect to air receiver with a high pressure pipe.

Now drill a 4'' hole in the bow below the waterline,like a torpedo tube hole,and connect this hole with a 4'' pipe to the receiver via a nice big Gate valve.

First of all you need to charge the receiver with air pressure.This is done by sort of head or bow butting solid immoveable objects,like lock gates,wharf walls ect with the buffer,making sure the collision is nice and hard to ensure a full tank of air pressure.To be continued bizzard.

[sebrof]

We also used the Jetex solid rocket propellant used to launch gliders into the sky and to power speed boats,available from model shops. bizzard

 

Jetex! That brings back memories of burned fingers.