Social Worker came to check us out

[nbtafelberg]

Dear All

 

Well last night I arrived home to find the School Nurse and a Social Worker on our boat.

 

Apparantly the Pediatrician at Chertsey had Reffered one of my daughters to the one in Uxbridge who was HORRIFIED that children were living on a boat.

 

The Social Worker was duly sent round who could find nothing wrong with us or our lifestyle, she only mentioned the small gap between the bow of the boat and the water as a matter of health and safety, which surprised me. She didn't even mention the solid fuel stove!!!

 

Just because we live on a boat doesn't mean our kids are not loved and cared for as much as land dwellers.

 

I don't mind but we have so far been unable to find a doctor with any spaces for us in the local area, when my kids need to see one I have to take them to CASUALTY AT THE LOCAL HOSPITAL.

 

The School Nurse at my daughters school has been really great and helpful but she is finding it frustrating as well!

 

There are kids worse off than us who don't have all the things we have but most of all the Love we have in our family.

 

Yet again boaters are descriminated against. This is the SECOND time this has happened.

 

Has anyone else experienced this?

[Richard Bustens]

I think they just have to make sure everything is ok.

They check house dwellers as well and probably have to keep a continious eye on some of them, i suspect that you will hear no more from them.

Better this than not to check and something happen to one of the kids.

[nbtafelberg]

Yes I do agree John

 

I did say to her that I'm glad they do check people out - just when we lived in a house no one was interested.

 

Now we are on a boat they just turn up uninvited with 5 minutes warning for my poor wife!

[Jon]

I imagine it stems from a misunderstanding about living on canals in general. There seems to be a common misconception that if you live on a boat, it's on a nasty, unmaintained reck on some dirty waterway in a completely unsuitable area. We of course know different, but I guess it will take a while to 'enlighten' everyone.

[anthony]

Frankly I would not be so understanding.

I would be interested to know if the person who raised the issue is a foreign doctor.

 

This is something myself and my partner have discussed if we had kids where we would stand living on a boat.

Would the kids get teased ect?

 

Fresh air,active lives what could be better for kids.

 

Ignorance breeds fear.

 

Frankly I would not be so understanding.

I would be interested to know if the person who raised the issue is a foreign doctor.

 

This is something myself and my partner have discussed if we had kids where we would stand living on a boat.

Would the kids get teased ect?

 

Fresh air,active lives what could be better for kids.

 

Ignorance breeds fear.

 

I would ask for a detailed explanation of why this person is/was horrified and the basis of their thinking.

[bottle]

Hi Paul

 

I would not be so understanding and if my child had to see the Uxbridge paediatrician again I would be having a little word in his shell like.

 

He had no reason to 'report' to social services, your child I'm sure is not abused in anyway.

 

There has to be a genuine concern for the welfare of the child and living on a boat is not a concern.

[Breals]

I don't see what difference it makes whether the doctor is foreign! It might even excuse the lack of understanding. I don't think the you can have a go at the social services either (not that you were), they have to check up on every report, especially in the climate after Victoria Climbie, and they do a very important and thankless job. And they clearly didn't see any need to take anything further so at least they have their heads on straight, even if the pediatrician didn't.

 

I agree though, I bet the boating lifestyle is great for kids.

Edited November 4, 2005 by Breals

[anthony]

I disagree Breals.

 

If you are foreign and lack understanding then one should shut up before passing ignorant inconveinient upsetting judgement.

 

The canal's history is over 100 years old to pass judgement on a childs welfare in relation shows great ignorance and if foreign great disrespect.

But hey were British just walk all over us we tolerate anything beyond ridiculas nowdays.

[Richard Bustens]

Back in the 60s, and before i would think, it was a common thing for the children of boat people to drown, the lock keeper on retford town locks lost 2 or maybe 3 children back then and Mark ainsworth from farndon harbour near Newark lost some as well though i can not remember how many.

It is probably something that has happened always, and may be the reason for the interest.

[speedy]

I know how you feel. Although my case is not boat related, my youngest son is a skinny bugger like myself but eats like a horse. One teacher at his school thought we were starving him and got a social worker involved. It took a doctor to fully examine him before anyone would believe we weren't starving him.

 

I feel that some people can't help but stick their noses into other peoples business. All that was needed was for the teacher to have contacted us, but went running to social services instead.

[Richard Bustens]

I don't think you should take offence at a all from them, it shows the system is working, the system that is put in place to protect the young from abuse and mal-treatment, if there is nothing wrong there will be no further contact.

The problem seems to be when someone that is abusing there children manages to convince them there is no problem.

Everyone gets a visit when a child is a few months old and in most cases unless someone makes a remark to them it is the last time you see them.

[nbtafelberg]

Hi All "Respondants"

 

Going to try and respond to all the questions.

 

Yes I dont' take offence. I do understand people see us as kind of strange it goes with the territory.

 

However checking us BECAUSE we live on a boat is like someone being checked out BECAUSE they are black.

 

Social Services checked out family because they are black is discrimenation

Social Services checked out family because they live on a boat is ALSO discrimination in my book

 

I do appreciate their time though and I do understand the misunderstanding.

 

The kids LOVE the boat life and don't get bullied, in fact the opposite people are genuininly interested in our lifestyle especially with the increase in house prices and the situation in the "normal world".

[John Orentas]

This kind of thing is part of the modern world and I suppose if it does give some protection to children at risk we should accept a certain amount of intrusion into our lives.

 

It is just a pity there is apparently no one there to check on the social workers and the other organisations involved. The relentless sickening list of cases that appear on our TV screens never seems to get shorter and every time some administrator is wheeled out to explain that no one was at fault "the system broke down", they might as well record it for use next time.

 

Part of the problem is that there is a tradition now that those in charge of recruitment of 'carers' are so fixed in their ways, a social worker must be a giggley 18 year old with no life experience whatsoever, if I had my way no one would be even considered for these jobs until they were at least 30 years old.

 

Try to imagine yourself as a 3 year old living in a council flat being routinely physically abused by a brutal parent, the only person who can help you is a young girl straight out of college who brought up by middle class parents, she finishes work at 4.30.

[Jon]

 

Part of the problem is that there is a tradition now that those in charge of recruitment of 'carers' are so fixed in their ways, a social worker must be a giggley 18 year old with no life experience whatsoever, if I had my way no one would be even considered for these jobs until they were at least 30 years old.

 

Try to imagine yourself as a 3 year old living in a council flat being routinely physically abused by a brutal parent, the only person who can help you is a young girl straight out of college who brought up by middle class parents, she finishes work at 4.30.

 

I disagree. While any applicant must have suitable life experience, in my experience age does not have any bearing on the amount a person has gone through. It does however reflect on maturity.

 

An 18 year old could have experienced the same, if not more, as a 30 year old. If they have been through a lot in childhood, they may be in a better position to relate to the children they are working with. Sometimes a 30 year old could have gone through life with out experiencing very much at all.

 

As a 21 year old, with 2 years experience as a special dealing with all manner of incidents, including death, as well as working 3 jobs, all of which involved dealing with members of the public in responsible roles, 3 years at uni, living with other students and supporting myself, plus years of music, lifesaving and other hobbies and interests, I would agrue that I have experienced a lot for my age. Probably more than some people who are much older. I'm not saying that everyone is the same, but each person should be considered by their merits.

 

Whether someone so young has the maturity to take on the role is a different matter, but usually life experience tends to generate maturity with it.

 

As for this situation, it does prove the system works to an extend BUT how many cases for genuine concern are missed because of the judgement of someone who makes assumptions based on lack of knowledge of the facts, and bases it on stereotypical opinion.

 

Jon

[rayman]

I don't think you should take offence at a all from them, it shows the system is working, the system that is put in place to protect the young from abuse and mal-treatment, if there is nothing wrong there will be no further contact.

The problem seems to be when someone that is abusing there children manages to convince them there is no problem.

Everyone gets a visit when a child is a few months old and in most cases unless someone makes a remark to them it is the last time you see them.

you live in a dream world, get real!

[Richard Bustens]

in what way Rayman,?

 

I live in a world where everyone gets on with each other, where children grow up to respect here elders, and no one abuses them. that does not mean they don't get a smack when they need one, but i do not think the man should be responsible for punishment that is the mothers role i never lifted a finger to my children, i left any punishment to my wife, a man can smack to hard.

 

How many of us would intervene if we saw someone hitting a woman in the street, not many, but i would and have done in the past.

 

But then as you say i don't live in the real world it is just a pity some others don't do the same.

[NB Willawaw]

I have been reading the thread of all your comments from Clevett onwards, it is always a sensitive subject when ' strangers' from agencies take interest in our personal lives in regards to something as precious as our children.

There are no definitive rule books on how we should bring up our children, where we live, just subconscious, personal life choices, moral and social messages that we take on board from our own parenting experiences, and from society in general. This has been reflected in your posts. This will also reflect in perhaps societys' ideas about boat living , house living and of course classic opinions about "travellers" living arrangements.

 

To be a qualified social worker (Probationary)you must be 21 years and over and you are monitored very closely by Senior Practitioners until you obtain enough practical and clear understanding of the law and other experience to deal with more complex cases and so on. The Senior Practitioners have someone monitoring them and this goes until you are monitored to an outside Agency level.

 

With experience of working closely with young people myself, I can say that many, many, young people experience things that we could not possibly imagine. These young people come from all social classes and different environments. We read highlighted newspaper readings that often misrepresent information from the "Comic" Newspapers to those who have their own slant on the information, this in turn raising moral panics.

 

I do feel that Police, Doctors, Teachers, Youth Workers, Youth Offending and Social Workers, work in 'glass-bowls' and many other professions are in the same position. If you don't take any action and something is wrong then you would be dragged through the mire and if you do and nothing is wrong then you have people thinking why pick on us. But thank God for those occasions when all is well. Many professionals have different ways of handling things and it is always best not to jump too quickly to conclusions, and in my experience, to get views from all involved before acting in haste.

 

Mrs.Willawaw

[Alastair]

Nice, balanced reply, willawaw.

 

Clevett, it sounds dreadful. Are you a member of the Residential Boat Owner's Association? Might be worth joining, just to get some backup support.

[alan_fincher]

Very well said, Mrs Willawaw

 

I very much suspect that this sums up the thoughts of many who have read this thread so far, but not felt able to express these views as eloquently as you have done.

 

In some of these professions, I can't help feeling that you are damned if you do take action, and equally damned if you do not.

 

Of course, in extreme cases, you will always get to hear in the press of those tragic examples where the system breaks badly.

 

But given the huge pressures on many of those working in "social" roles, (not just social services, but in many other fields as well), I don't think it ever makes big news when the system works well.

 

I doubt that inexperience, ineptitude, or generally making bad calls is any more prevalent for people in this kind of public role - just that they are, as ytou have said, far more on public view.

 

I've worked in industry with many people in senior positions, who pass the blanket tests of age or "life experience", and I'm very happy that they are in industry, because I certainly wouln't want to encounter them as a social worker, policeman, GP, etc, or anything where they had a direct involvent with my family.

 

Rant over

[nbtafelberg]

Hi All

 

Yes we are members of RBOA but nothing seems to happen much...

 

I had an idea, since the social worker had no concept of what living on a boat was about I have decided to write and offer to do a talk since I do talks already for various groups on the subject and Roses and Castles painting.

[David Schweizer]

Mrs Willawaw has put very clearly that which I have attempted to post several times on this thread, and then deleted because it was too wordy.

 

I also spent most of my adult life working with Young People, but most members of the public fail to realise that Professionals working with Children and Young People are legally required to report any concerns about the welfare of any Young Person they come into contact with (and that includes outside the workplace) Failure to do so would certainly lead to a disciplinary hearing, and possibly dimissal if it had been a serious oversight.

 

Hi All

 

Yes we are members of RBOA but nothing seems to happen much...

 

I had an idea, since the social worker had no concept of what living on a boat was about I have decided to write and offer to do a talk since I do talks already for various groups on the subject and Roses and Castles painting.

That is a very sound and gererous idea. I hope it is received with the same generosity from Social Services, Please let us know whether you suceed.

[nbtafelberg]

Yes I will...

[Carrie]

Hi Paul.

I'd be fuming if that happened to me and I completely understand your feelings here.

As David pointed out though, a teacher for example is legally bound to pass on any small concerns they may have over a childs welfare.

 

It sounds as though one poorly-informed teacher had a well-meaning worry about a child. He/she would have mentioned it to his/her 'line manager' (the Head perhaps, in a primary school), who is duty bound once more, to pass that on to the home-liaison officer or equivalent. I can see how this would then have been passed on to the properly qualified person (social worker), without anyone even speaking to the poor parents!

 

Teachers are discouraged from dealing directly with parents in potentially sensitive issues - partly because they are not properly trained to. Remember that in some cases of real abuse, it's the child who suffers if they 'tell' and it is not then dealt with properly. I'm afraid that, horribly gauling as it is, we adults must sometimes bear the condemnation or humiliation of investigating or being investigated, because the child is ultimately the most vulnerable and important one here.

I hope you never have to go through this again.

[speedy]

That doesn't excuse the teacher in my case liasing directly with a social worker without our knowledge!

[Kristian]

THE WHOLE WORLDS GOING MAD I KNOW, A FRIEND OF MINE IS A SCHOOL TEACHER AND SHE WAS TELLING US THAT HER SCHOOL SPORTS DAY WAS COMING UP, OH GREAT IS SAID (REMINISCING),

OH SHE NOT LIKE YOU'D REMMEMBER IT. WE HAVE TO DO "RISK ASSEMENTS" ETC WITH THAT SHE SAID THE 3 LEGGED RACE IS BANNED DUE TO HEALTH AND SAFTEY ISSUES, AND THE EGG AND SPOON RACE WAS ALSO BANNED DUE TO THE FACT ITS RACIST! (COCKNEY RHYMING SLANG). AAAAAAAAHHHHHH.