Gwydion

I went in today! My only, rather poor excuse, is that burd and her little daughter were doing my head in, and I wasn't concentrating as I should have been when I went to step onto the bank, which was a good five feet further away than I thought. Time went into slow motion when I realised I was about to plunge in, and I did a reasonable Indiana Jones impression with the centre rope as I entered the water. I lost a packet of fag papers and a lighter, but my baccy stayed dry and my phone still works.

Because it's harder for an offended person to punch you through a computer screen.

I don't. I didn't get a boat to be tied to one place. I'm just getting annoyed lately with this snot-nosed witch hunt against CCers based on how far they move around. Certain people are using it as a stick to hit others with, and there are those unwilling to distinguish between a genuine CCer and one of the Boats Are Homes brigade.

Who appointed you as the distance adjudicator? If he's moving about, he's playing the game. Since the start of my current license in November, I've moved back and forth between Marsworth on the GU, and Fenny Compton on the Oxford, but because I'm a CCer who works, I keep having to defend myself against prats who assume I hop around one area. I move because I like moving about, not to satisfy any little Hitler's idea of what a CCer's obligations are. If needs be, I'll have no qualms about moving about in one area for a time. If you're not hogging a spot longer than 14 days, you shouldn't have to apologise to the anti-CC mob, whether you move one mile or twenty.

She married Doctor Who. Everybody should know this.

I stick them in a good base of glowing wood embers when the flames have died down. Took a bit of trial and error, but I'm getting the timing and technique honed really well!

You can't beat a jacket spud cooked in foil in a fire. I've been living off them this last week. Stick a tin of Tesco Value sweetcorn on top with lots of melted butter, black pepper and freshly picked wild garlic... You've got food fit for the gods, make no mistake.

I object to this speciesist comment.

How awful. It must be so embarrassing.

For the sake of a tenner you might as well do it.

Thank you, your righteousness.

This warrants a greeny methinks!

A hundred bags is probably a slight exaggeration, but I think it's obvious that I don't callously leave my dogs' crap all over the place! As for the girlfriend... she's more of a demented stalker who I can't get rid of. I humour her for a quiet life.

Put a cat in it. Make sure it can't get out. Bang the sides with a cricket bat. Repeat with new cat until inside is gleaming clean.

There's about a hundred bags of dog poo on my boat roof, and I still get whingebags who blame me for leaving it on the towpath. In Wilstone, my collie had a dump ahead of where I was walking, and as I was sorting out a bag I became aware of this mouthy fat chav woman yelling at me to pick it up. I sent some choice words back in her direction, but she's got my girlfriend to thank for the fact it didn't go all over her windscreen and car door handles. It still winds me up thinking about the way that gobby cow mouthed off at me

Someone moved my boat last week. They only put it in front of a marina entrance/winding hole, didn't they! The gormless tossers. I don't mind people moving it if they're not going to do stupid things like that, and they secure it like it was their own.

Still very busy on the GU at Stoke Hammond despite the high wind. Moor up and get to a pub you nutters!

Everybody's in Milton Keynes. Massive queue yesterday at Fenny Stratford Lock. Lots of gongoozlers, and about a hundred hire boats coming through doing brilliant Timothy West impressions! I'm currently recovering from all the sudden stress in Stoke Hammond, where The Dolphin is going to see some serious money go through the till today!

So I could register the pond in my garden as my home mooring, and then moor wherever I like for however long I like?

Does it stipulate that the home mooring has to be on CRT waters?

Was looking at the paints in Aldi, and was amused to find that my boat's previous owner used them! http://www.hotukdeals.com/deals/aldi-metal-care-paint-similar-hammerite-1-litre-4-99-1642988 They're actually really good quality paints, if you can find the right colour. Whoever named the various colours isn't exactly a marketing genius though, as the horrendously named 'Rape Yellow' stands to testify. EDIT to add, the link article is a couple of years old, and they do a lot more colours now than it says there.

They bloody will if you employ one of these fellas.

All for it. If it were up to me, I'd have a big line of them in a chain gang, grafting away on the restoration of the Wendover Arm.

Quite pleased with the green environmentally friendly bog fluid. My loo now smells like freshly mowed watercress.