Meg, you are very welcome. Nobody I know would even consider pulling an articulated lorry on a bit of string, but most boaters try to without understanding it!
The helmsman's courses will help, but if you want to know how to do it properly try and find an old boatman (or boatwoman but they are much rarer!)
My training technique boils down to "if you think you are working too hard, you have done it wrong."
Don't fight wind wave and boat - use them to help you do what you want to do. Sometimes that means you need to turn the boat the other way so the wind helps you. Sometimes you need the correctly placed rope to "spring off" when the wind is pinning you to a bank. Sometimes you need to use a rope to turn the boat tighter than you think it will go. All of this comes with experience and practice, and the chaps that did it for years are the ones whose brains you need to pick.
Ignore the golf bores from the local boatclub - they are usually full of ... themselves, and most of them just shout at their wives when it goes wrong.
MrsBiscuits took a pair of boats down an unfamiliar lock flight last week, steering a boat she has never driven before. Her first comment at the bottom was "That gear lever needs adjusting - it's too stiff." It is all about practice and expectations, and most of the blokes who try and tell you otherwise have only ever steered one boat ...