How to make a sun hat.

[bizzard]

For those who suffer from sunstroke or a burnt pate and have perhaps been found collapsed in a gutter somewhere with this malady like I was when a kid. I was sitting on the kerb digging sun melted tar up off the road with a lolly stick to waterproof the hull of my toy wooden boat which kept on sinking in the bath. I collapsed forwards nose first into the tar all unconkshus like. Luckily this happened outside our pre-fab and my mum saw it happen. She rushed out in a great panic to rescue her Bizzard, carried me indoors, brought me round with cold water and tea, sloshed paraffin upon my tarry hooter and scrubbed it with the floor scrubbing brush, its still feels red raw to this day. However I'm fully recovered now with only one or two abnormalities left over from the ordeal, mental mainly. I still remember it all quite vividly.

Part two. How to make the sun hat will follow after I've had lunch folks.

Edited July 4, 2014 by bizzard

[YamYam]

For those who suffer from sunstroke or a burnt pate and have perhaps been found collapsed in a gutter somewhere with this malady like I was when a kid. I was sitting on the kerb digging sun melted tar up off the road with a lolly stick to waterproof the hull of my toy wooden boat which kept on sinking in the bath. I collapsed forwards nose first into the tar all unconkshus like. Luckily this happened outside our pre-fab and my mum saw it happen. She rushed out in a great panic to rescue her Bizzard, carried me indoors, brought me round with cold water and tea, sloshed paraffin upon my tarry hooter and scrubbed it with the floor scrubbing brush, its still feels red raw to this day. However I'm fully recovered now with only one or two abnormalities left over from the ordeal. I still remember it all quite vividly.

Part two. How to make the sun hat will follow after I've had lunch folks.

 

 

Priceless. Hurry up please, really can't wait

[bizzard]

Part 2. Thanks for being patient folks and hope you have not gone and caught yourselves sunstroke whilst waiting for the important instructions.

First of all we must measure the old napper as you don't want a hat that's too big which falls over your eyes, dangerous, neither one that's too small which would only perch right on the summit of your napper, any breath of wind would keep blowing it away. No you need an accurate fit with a bit extra, for what I'll explain later.

Now there are different kinds of sun hats as you know, floppy ones, stiff ones, Boater style and Panama style. The latter two are more difficult to make unless you can weave bits of straw or reeds together. Perhaps thatching it like an old barn or cottage roof would be nice and keep the rain out.

To measure your napper a dressmakers tape measure is required. If you are unfortunate and mother nature as bestowed upon you an outsized or gigantically enormous head too big to measure with one of these it might be best to use a mooring rope or extra long heaving line, if you have one long enough to encircle the circumference of your outsize napper. If you have a tiny head a jubilee clip fastened lightly around it would be an ideal method of measuring. Anyway once the measurement has been made its time to begin the all satisfying task of making your very own homemade sun hat.

For a floppy hat three lengths of strong string are needed to reinforce the rim, inner rim and crown of the hat. If making a stiff hat, likewise with three lengths of old fence or Mig welding wire. Make sure its not rusty or you might end up being afflicted with Tetanus instead of sunstroke.

First by refering to your head measurement make a circle with the string or wire and knot or bind the ends together, this is the inner brim. Now do the same for the much larger outer rim, this rim can be whatever size you like, to give a normal say 3'' rim or up to a gigantic Sombrero size but it will have an extra weight penalty.

Place the circle of inner rim into the middle of the outer rim ready to cover them. Covering your sun hat can be carried out with a great many different coverings, from model aeroplane tissue, brown parcel paper, flowery wallpaper, Colourful Christmas wrapping paper ect or there are all manner of cloths and fabrics, not forgetting of course the weaving of straw or laying up of thatch.

With scissors cut out a oversize circle width of whatever covering you have chosen and stick it with glue upon you circles of string-wire folding around it and gluing it firmly.

Make a circle of wire-string for the hats crown, the same size or bigger or smaller than the inner rim one depending on your style.

Again from the material make the upright circular wrapper between inner rim and crown, stick it all around and especially to circles of string-wire. Your sun hat is now almost complete. You can leave the top open to air if you wish and are not bald as apparently the back of the head and neck is where sunstroke will strike you down. The top crown bit is cut out and stuck on much the same of the rest of it. To make it comfortable to wear an old bobble hat can be stuck inside as a lining, the reason why the inner rim needs to be a little oversize.

To preserve your beautiful home made posh sun hat and to make it rain proof you can rub cooking oil, gear oil, rub grease into it, varnish it or whack bitumen hull paint on to really give it longevity. For the electrically minded and for those who wish to charge up phone batteries and the like a solar panel stuck upon the hats crown will please them.

That's it folks, Happy sunstroke free sunbathing, walking about or digging tar from the roadside.

[Phil Ambrose]

Come on Biz, I've had my lunch

Phil

[bizzard]

Come on Biz, I've had my lunch

Phil

[YamYam]

Interesting, 'how to do' pictures would have nice but think I pretty well grasp the concept. Might need a bit more work if you ever try to get into Ascot though. Perhaps you could give some thought to the 'posh' version now

[bizzard]

Interesting, 'how to do' pictures would have nice but think I pretty well grasp the concept. Might need a bit more work if you ever try to get into Ascot though. Perhaps you could give some thought to the 'posh' version now

My benefactor and mentor Mr Bizzard is not online at the moment. He has gone out to work, mumbling something about making a miniature sun hat for me. I will relay your message when he comes in and has fed me.

Satchidanander the cat.

Edited July 4, 2014 by bizzard

[YamYam]

Thanks Statchidanader, actually, if you ever need a new home I'm near Dudley, not that I would ever exploit a cat that can type you understand, just for the change of scenery mainly. However, one proviso would have to be a name change. Nothing too drastic, just one I can actually pronounce

[bizzard]

Thanks Satchidanader, actually, if you ever need a new home I'm near Dudley, not that I would ever exploit a cat that can type you understand, just for the change of scenery mainly. However, one proviso would have to be a name change. Nothing too drastic, just one I can actually pronounce

Satchidanander if you don't mind robgriff1954.

 

He says that hot water from an Ascot shouldn't be a problem as the weather proofing oil and stuff on it will allow it to endure hot as well as cold water. You can safely take a shower in your sun hat.

Edited July 4, 2014 by bizzard

[YamYam]

Satchidanander if you don't mind robgriff1954.

 

He says that hot water from an Ascot shouldn't be a problem as the weather proofing oil and stuff on it will allow it to endure hot as well as cold water. You can safely take a shower in your sun hat.

 

[system 4-50]

Dear Mr Bizz. By working very hard, I have made 3 of these hats but each of has been lost when knocked off the bonce by low bridges because they didn't float. What can I do?

signed Toasted of Tunbridge Wells

[bizzard]

Dear Mr Bizz. By working very hard, I have made 3 of these hats but each of has been lost when knocked off the bonce by low bridges because they didn't float. What can I do?

signed Toasted of Tunbridge Wells

Mr bizzard is having his tea at present and is not online in consultation, but I Satchidanander will ask him about a purrfect solution for your problem and paw my way back to you later. Meow.

[b0atman]

I once asked a cat if he could type his reply was Meow.

[mattlad]

Cats paw's do work on tablets.

 

Mine still can't spell though!

 

Edited for apostrophe positioning. I think I've got it right! ;-)

Edited July 4, 2014 by mattlad

[bizzard]

Mr bizzard is having his tea at present and is not online in consultation, but I Satchidanander will ask him about a purrfect solution for your problem and paw my way back to you later. Meow.

Satchidanander has passed me the message. Mmm ok. I suggest crowning your sun hat with a heavy weight such as a disc of 12mm steel plate which would act as a keel, hitting the water concave uppermost if knocked off and float around awaiting retrieval. Like a Wok it will also make an ideal lifeboat if you have to abandon ship.

[bargemast]

Great stuff bizzard,

 

thank you very much for these detailed instructions. As soon as I can find a spare moment, I'll try to make one after I've found a piece of 12mm steel for the top.

Right now I'm very busy doing nothing, but as soon as I'm finished with that, I'll give it a go.

 

Have a nice w.e.

 

Peter.

[bizzard]

Great stuff bizzard,

 

thank you very much for these detailed instructions. As soon as I can find a spare moment, I'll try to make one after I've found a piece of 12mm steel for the top.

Right now I'm very busy doing nothing, but as soon as I'm finished with that, I'll give it a go.

 

Have a nice w.e.

 

Peter.

Simple to make Peter and I'm sure you'll be delighted with its performance, when you've completed your nothingness task.

[patty-ann]

Dear Mr Bizzard, could you please simplify instructions for the female of the species who may wish to wear your hats to social gatherings such as tea parties with Liz Battenberg who may not appreciate steel constructions.

[Sir Nibble]

Hanky, knot in each corner, sorted.

[bizzard]

Dear Mr Bizzard, could you please simplify instructions for the female of the species who may wish to wear your hats to social gatherings such as tea parties with Liz Battenberg who may not appreciate steel constructions.

I'm sure you'll look quite becoming at Lizzies party Hatty-ann wearing ''The sun hat'', just stick bits of of a Union Jack all over it. The cake is very sweet and rich, watch your manners in front of Liz whilst eating it.

[patty-ann]

okey dokey now all I need is an invite, will deface a union jack, put bits on my hat and construct matching frock, I'll be a sight to behold