Guilty secrets

[Phil Ambrose]

Time we had a light hearted thread, so I will try to get one going with my offering of a guilty secret.

Many years ago I bought my own milk round and often started deliveries between midnight and 2-00am (it was a big round) one of my deliveries was to a house which had an aviary full of cockatiels alongside of it. the lights of my milkfloat would wake the birds up and they would start to chunter. Having birds of my own it was only natural for be to whistle at them, a wolf whistle in fact. The upshot of this was that after a short time the birds would all wolf whistle back.

Eventually I got to talk to the owner and he confided in me thay "some bugger has taught them all to wolf whistle" I never did let on that it was me.

 

Phil

[soldthehouse]

Time we had a light hearted thread, so I will try to get one going with my offering of a guilty secret.

Many years ago I bought my own milk round and often started deliveries between midnight and 2-00am (it was a big round) one of my deliveries was to a house which had an aviary full of cockatiels alongside of it. the lights of my milkfloat would wake the birds up and they would start to chunter. Having birds of my own it was only natural for be to whistle at them, a wolf whistle in fact. The upshot of this was that after a short time the birds would all wolf whistle back.

Eventually I got to talk to the owner and he confided in me thay "some bugger has taught them all to wolf whistle" I never did let on that it was me.

 

Phil

Never heard a wolf whistle

[Nightwatch]

Never heard a wolf whistle

There's no answer to that... nor do I know how attractive you are.

 

Martyn

[casper ghost]

Never heard a wolf whistle

I'll guess that yours is that you really prefer single cylinders....

[Midnight Rider]

Time we had a light hearted thread, so I will try to get one going with my offering of a guilty secret.

Many years ago I bought my own milk round and often started deliveries between midnight and 2-00am (it was a big round) one of my deliveries was to a house which had an aviary full of cockatiels alongside of it. the lights of my milkfloat would wake the birds up and they would start to chunter. Having birds of my own it was only natural for be to whistle at them, a wolf whistle in fact. The upshot of this was that after a short time the birds would all wolf whistle back.

Eventually I got to talk to the owner and he confided in me thay "some bugger has taught them all to wolf whistle" I never did let on that it was me.

 

Phil

I once knew a girl who had a cockatoo.

 

Tony

[Québec]

Sorry...my guilty secret is covered by the Official Secrets Act!

[journeyperson]

I've been trying to think of something but can't. Is that admirable or boring? It reminds me of when I go to give blood and have to fill in a questionnaire about lifestyle (drugs, piercings, tattoos etc) and relationships (STDs etc) and I always tick, no, no, no, no.........and always wonder if my life is too mundane .

 

A friend of mine once ticked the box about travel to Africa and the nurse asked him where and he said Kenya so she asked if he'd had sex whilst he was there and he said yes. So she referred him to her superior who took him off to one side behind a screen and asked him who he'd had sex with and her told her it was his wife. She (the nurse), wasn't amused.

[BlueStringPudding]

All my guilty secrets incriminate someone else... they feel guilty about the secret but I don't!!!

 

And the moral of the story is don't do anything you're gonna feel guilty about. (I think wolf whistling at some tweety birdies is okay tho!)

[soldthehouse]

I'll guess that yours is that you really prefer single cylinders....

There are limits to wickedness

My guilty secrets are too numerous and I will surely go to a very dark place when I die

Edited October 17, 2010 by soldthehouse

[chris&sandra]

20 years ago I had a Winnebago motor which I used as a base when working on contract I was working on a ship in Portsmouth dock and staying on a campsite just out of the town I had been there about a week when the family from hell turned up mum .dad and 3 kids. TV on full blast day & night, then I found out they had the same TV I have and the remote control worked there TV so to get my own back in the middle of east ender i would turn the TV over or lower the sound or true it off this would cause fights with the kids then start mum & dad shouting I also set the alarm to go off at all silly o’clock in the mornings. Toward the end of their holiday dad and myself started to talk I told him that I was working on a contract and I’m a marine electrical / mechanical engineer .He then ask me to have a look at their TV which I said ok I pretended to adjust the TV and told him it was the senor out turn (go free beer all night for that)

 

chris

[DeanS]

I once slept in a friends house guest room. I stayed up late and crawled into bed around midnight. Lying in the dark my eyes became accustomed to the surroundings in the room, and I suddenly made out a dark figure standing at the end of my bed. Petrified, I started to pray, and after 15mins of fervent prayer, with no movement of the figure at the end of the bed, I summonsed the courage to switch on the room light, only to find a dressmaking manakin looking at me..... should have seen my friends reaction in the morning when I got half way through the story and they thought their house was haunted....

[Chris Pink]

20 years ago I had a Winnebago motor which I used as a base when working on contract I was working on a ship in Portsmouth dock and staying on a campsite just out of the town I had been there about a week when the family from hell turned up mum .dad and 3 kids. TV on full blast day & night, then I found out they had the same TV I have and the remote control worked there TV so to get my own back in the middle of east ender i would turn the TV over or lower the sound or true it off this would cause fights with the kids then start mum & dad shouting I also set the alarm to go off at all silly o’clock in the mornings. Toward the end of their holiday dad and myself started to talk I told him that I was working on a contract and I’m a marine electrical / mechanical engineer .He then ask me to have a look at their TV which I said ok I pretended to adjust the TV and told him it was the senor out turn (go free beer all night for that)

 

chris

 

Apple remote controls are all on the same frequency.

 

So you can have some fun on the train controlling someone else's MacBook.

[stewart&jenny]

Jenny in times BC (Before Co-habiting) had this cockatiel that she asked me to look after while she and children went off on holiday. They returned a fortnight later. To get him back home we took "Sherpa" for an afternoon drive (AD) , in my Transit van.It being a nice sunny day, the cage is strapped to back of driver's seat to stop it from falling over. Me driving with the window down and we stop at this T-junction (in the middle of Epsom, Surrey ... just by the college for the anally retentive ).

 

Just as we turn into the road this teenage girl happens to be walking up to the junction. Without further ado, Sherpa decides to let out this perfect wolf whistle! I'm sure he couldn't see her, so I guess it just something to do with the sounds indicative of my 2 daughters staying for a while during his 'holiday'. Anyway, the look I received from the passing girl who thought I was the culprit was nothing to the ear bending I was receiving from my passenger seat!

 

[carlt]

Sorry...my guilty secret is covered by the Official Secrets Act!

Likewise, and protected by the 50 year rule, which was abolished 50 years ago but nobody was told, until the end of last year, because of the 50 year rule, which was changed to the 30 year rule even though everyone was abiding by the 50 year rule because they hadn't been told it it had changed.