If you had your own canal

[carlt]

If we won the euro lottery we would buy a huge chunk of countryside - with a marina in the middle and a canal system round the outside with interesting ways if getting in and out and around. Then everyone in our Marina could come a live rent free and we would stay or cruise. We would have the best pub/clubhouse in the world. We would have supplies of what ever from beer to biscuits helicoptered in when ever....and a lauderette on site with dryers and folding machines or washing lines...

bliss

Would I be allowed to moor online? I hate marinas.

[Mick_B]

I would disallow all mooring between 10am and 6pm except 30 minutes where the mooring is within walking distance of shops. Boating is better when the the boat is moving, usually forwards. Marinas would be the storage device for people determined to remain stationary.I would disallow all mooring between 10am and 6pm except 30 minutes where the mooring is within walking distance of shops. Boating is better when the the boat is moving, usually forwards. Marinas would be the storage device for people determined to remain stationary.I would disallow all mooring between 10am and 6pm except 30 minutes where the mooring is within walking distance of shops. Boating is better when the the boat is moving, usually forwards. Marinas would be the storage device for people determined to remain stationary.

 

 

WOW!!

 

Reading that was like Groundhog Day....

[magnetman]

I'd also put up decent 3G masts along the cut so people could post to discussion foras while boating.

[carlt]

If money were no object, I would have an exact replica of the waterways system built but with all towpaths surfaced, verges mown, wharves and boatyards developed into wine bars and eateries, all scruffy boats banned, locks elactrified and the wooden gates replaced with leak-free, lightweight composite copies.

 

Then I'd invite anyone who wanted a system like that to put their boats on it for free and our existing waterway heritage can stop being destroyed in the interests of tourism.

[magnetman]

Fortunately, if money were no object (i don't object to it) it would also be possible to throw plenty of it at the original canal system to prevent it becoming a reed bed.

[cugsey]

ok after much thinkin i have come up with some ideas

lets have your views

 

the canal would have to be a mixture of rural and urban

and i would want some quirky type locks that keeps visitor on their toes

you know the sort i mean

a different winding gear or a calder and hubble spike required

i would also want a canal where water shortage was a concern

this would make everyone appreciate what a resource we had

the tow path would be excellent in some places with benches bar be que points

and overgrown and unkempt in other spots

only one elsan/toilet/pumpout/water point on the entire length

to encourage boat movement

 

these are just my initial thougths

for the next instalment i will be writing about the people and boats that will make up

the community of the thames and brixton canal

keep tuned

[tillergirl]

If I had enough money to own a canal I;d be living in the South of France - Sod the canal i'd have aluxury cruiser!!

[Magpie Val]

I'd have a canal where the lock gates would open at the click of my remote control. I'd have priority over all the other boaters of course, it being my canal

All would be perfectly maintained with good water, plenty of room for wildlife, maybe the odd dolphin . There would probably be a couple of lifts like the Anderton only more impressive to go up and down on. Plenty of excellent traditional real ale pubs, plenty of proper loos and showers, also recycling facilities. Lots of designer outlet centres...

And of course no drink-steer restrictions

[cugsey]

right then

back onto who can and cant come on my ditch

firstly the following are black balled

 

1.all ugly fat canal type women, i have spoken about this before and you know who you are out there, my advice buy a mirror

 

2. anyone under the age of 30 who has a 'passion' for canal boats,at that age you should be out and about on the town chasing after men/women/alcohol/footy/kehbabs etc and not fannying about with ditch crawlers

 

3.although i will allow some pubs to sell 'real ale' no customers will be allowed that call any member of staff 'squire' or 'landlord' or have their own pewter tankard stuck on some rusty nail at the side of the bar

 

4.anyone who makes their own jam

 

5.although their will be some exceptions( such as me mate douggie from staines) generally men will not be allowed to have long hair and beards

 

6.anyone who uses the term 'absolutely' instead of 'yeah or yes' you know just like all them BBC types do

 

7.any person who had anything whatsoever to do with that 'Picture loan' advert on the telly you know the one that has that thick cow from the north east who shouts 'josh dads found yer scouuter'

 

8 any boat owner who even thinks about slagging off hirers/timesharers/fishermen/walkers/dogs/shiney boats/old boats/plastic boat/raggamuffin boats/cyclists

 

these are just a few that i have come up with more to follw

 

KEEP TUNED

[carlt]

right then

back onto who can and cant come on my ditch

firstly the following are black balled

 

1.all ugly fat canal type women, i have spoken about this before and you know who you are out there, my advice buy a mirror

 

2. anyone under the age of 30 who has a 'passion' for canal boats,at that age you should be out and about on the town chasing after men/women/alcohol/footy/kehbabs etc and not fannying about with ditch crawlers

 

3.although i will allow some pubs to sell 'real ale' no customers will be allowed that call any member of staff 'squire' or 'landlord' or have their own pewter tankard stuck on some rusty nail at the side of the bar

 

4.anyone who makes their own jam

 

5.although their will be some exceptions( such as me mate douggie from staines) generally men will not be allowed to have long hair and beards

 

6.anyone who uses the term 'absolutely' instead of 'yeah or yes' you know just like all them BBC types do

 

7.any person who had anything whatsoever to do with that 'Picture loan' advert on the telly you know the one that has that thick cow from the north east who shouts 'josh dads found yer scouuter'

 

8 any boat owner who even thinks about slagging off hirers/timesharers/fishermen/walkers/dogs/shiney boats/old boats/plastic boat/raggamuffin boats/cyclists

 

these are just a few that i have come up with more to follw

 

KEEP TUNED

Find myself agreeing with most of these.

 

but relevant to no.7. Is the nauseating Geordie woman the same actress who plays David Archer's missus or, is it just coincidence that there are two nauseating Geordie women with kids called Josh?

[Lizzy J]

4.anyone who makes their own jam

 

What is matter with making your own jam? Ideal on a boat, all those long hours to leave it bubbling away, don't have the time to wait at home. Even better bramble jelly, freshly collected from the hedgerow.

 

Same goes for making bread.......on the boat you have time.

 

No, I am not in the WI (although I have thought about it!), probably a bit young as although I am not under 30, (so don't need to go out on the town, thank goodness, never did like that anyway!) I haven't quite reached the next milestone...but I have looked in the mirror recently!

[carlt]

What is matter with making your own jam?

 

If god had meant us to waste fruit on jam-making and other non-alcoholic products, he wouldn't have invented yeast.

 

Edited because I can't spell god.

Edited September 22, 2007 by carlt

[Supermalc]

What is matter with making your own jam? Ideal on a boat, all those long hours to leave it bubbling away, don't have the time to wait at home. Even better bramble jelly, freshly collected from the hedgerow.Same goes for making bread.......on the boat you have time.No, I am not in the WI (although I have thought about it!), probably a bit young as although I am not under 30, (so don't need to go out on the town, thank goodness, never did like that anyway!) I haven't quite reached the next milestone...but I have looked in the mirror recently!

 

I like home-made jam ...... on bread one of my favourites.

 

What's wrong with going out. I've not done that for years, and don't mind if I don't go again ...... however I'm also not under 30 (hahaha) and remember this, it's not always unpleasant

 

 

If god had meant us to waste fruit on jam-making and other non-alcoholic products, he wouldn't have invented yeast.

 

Edited because I can't spell god.

 

Actually it's spelt like this Carl ......... God. Capital G

 

Like your style though especially given my recent exploits.

 

Edited because EVERYTIME I put up consecutive posts, it joins up all my sentences and paragraphs.

Edited September 22, 2007 by Supermalc

[Lizzy J]

If god had meant us to waste fruit on jam-making and other non-alcoholic products, he wouldn't have invented yeast.

 

Edited because I can't spell god.

 

Ah, but there is a lot of fruit out there and when I have finished the all the yeast and have litres (or rather pints (!))of alcoholic products what else can one do!

[Hairy-Neil]

Edited because EVERYTIME I put up consecutive posts, it joins up all my sentences and paragraphs.

Yes, I find that an extreme irritation.....and one I can do without.....

[Hairyloon]

Getting back to the original question, I would actively manage the natural resources towards maximum sustainable yield.

From the trees on the banks to the fish in the water, there doesn't seem to be much going on to optimise production.

[Ex- Member]

I would reduce the licence fee to £1.00 per year for all CC'rs and double the rate for those who carp on that CC'rs should pay more

[Malarky]

I would widen some of the locks to about 17'. Get the sewerage and industrial systems to pay for my looking after the water flow. Would restore the flood planes and small lakes for overflowing locks, and make the whole thing a conservation area, I would not claim any land I had not been useing, and contact owners of any adjacent land to keep good relations, and possibly seek voluntry funding and preserve my permissory access. I would not own the tow path, and campaign for it to become a bridalway. Any public useing the canal water would not be charged nor would I accept any responsibility for anything that happened to them whilst there. I would hope the constant problems and dangers of fishermen, bikes, boaters dogs walkers and horses would put people off thus avioding overcrowding. There would be no compliance or insurance, except for relevant conservation issues or requirements imposed by councils, which would mainly concern the banks anyway. I would leave navigation issues up to boaters to sort amongst themselves. I would not be able to alllow mooring, or indeed stop it, as it would depend on local councils who I would liase with as any other interested parties or adjacent land owners.

I would personally try to keep at least five grand together to use in the event of having to meet concerned parties and hope they just left me allone as my canal would be run to break even. I would have no staff to avoid corruption and unnecessary expense. If I had any problems I would rely on the gossip to seek an entertaining response or solution.