A few do's and don'ts.

[John Orentas]

None of us are to old to learn new ways of doing things, I noticed that many new techniques have been adopted on the canals, I will endeavour to learn them.

 

1. Approaching a bridge or narrow section, you may find that some old fool driving an approaching boat will wave you through before him (sucker). Don't be in a great hurry to get through the bridge, in fact it is best to pretend you didn't understand the signal, slow right down or even stop briefly in the bridge-hole, he is obviously enjoying holding station waiting for you. When in time you decide to accept his suggestion do it as slowly as you can manage, making any kind of bow wave 'not done'.

 

2. In a similar way to the above when you emerge from a lock to find a boat waiting to enter it, give the situation some careful consideration, tell your crew to engage in a lengthy debate as to who is getting on and who is getting off, if one of them indecisively hangs about considering whether or not to close the gates as you leave then so much the better. But if you can't reach a consensus again it doesn't matter that much you can always stop again in front of that boat that is hanging about for some reason. But remember no bow wave.

 

Janet, both t in c.

Edited July 19, 2006 by John Orentas

[matt]

A quite hilarious moment recently when queued at a lock - with a lot of hot sweaty other boaters.

 

A hire boat came up the lock which was 50 yards from a bridge, they opened the gates then stayed in the lock for 5 minutes debating whether to leave or not while looking through binoculars at a boat coming in the other direction (some considerable distance away), I'm still not sure what they could have been debating.

 

I wasn't in a particular hurry and saw the funny side, others weren't so forgiving.

[nigel carton]

3. When moored up for a break near the start of a flight of locks,(single ones) secure your boat with the centre rope only using a quick release knot. You can now sit on your rear deck with a cuppa waiting for a boat to appear, let him get within a hundred yards, then start engine, release mooring rope and jump out in front of him, pretending you didn't see him coming

[Kathy and Roger]

Oh my! Since I'm not yet educated in canal rules and etiquette, perhaps I shouldn't read these types of threads.

 

It's really quite funny because I'm having a hard time figuring out what's meant to be tongue-in-cheek and what isn't. This could be a very dangerous thing, indeed....

 

K

[steveh]

4. Whilst on a busy flight of locks moor up in a lock pound using the bollards to tie both stern and bow off. Sit back relax and eat your cornflakes. Make no attempt to assist the 34 week pregnant young lady operating the locks but indeed shout abuse when they close the gate behind because they believe you’re having breakfast.

[Mark W]

When hiring out a day boat get a small 30 footter load up with drink and say 20ish people, then don't get any instruction on how to use it and proceed along the canal in a nice straight line, when you happen upon a boat coming the other way zig zag several times before you hit it.

 

Makes us all laugh that one!!!! (not)

 

Mark.

[nigel carton]

5. When approaching a visitors mooring and tieing up for the night, try and leave a nice gap between you and the next boat, its rude to share the same mooring ring. That way, all them nasty people who like to cruise after 3pm will have no room and have to go else where.

 

ps Kathy and Roger its tongue-in-cheek...... I hope!

[Janet S]

It's really quite funny because I'm having a hard time figuring out what's meant to be tongue-in-cheek and what isn't.

 

I thought they were ALL being serious!

 

Janet

[Moley]

6. If there is a queue at locks, hire boats have priority over owned boats, as they are usually on a schedule, whereas it doesn't matter if a privately owned boat takes an extra day or so on their cruise.

 

PS: Jon: we still need that tongue-in-cheek smiley

[allybsc]

When you are on a timeshare boat, go straight to the front of the queue at a busy lock because you have priority, don't forget to tell everyone this V. loudly in case they have forgotten (chortle)

Regards,

Ally p.

[Kathy and Roger]

When you are on a timeshare boat, go straight to the front of the queue at a busy lock because you have priority, don't forget to tell everyone this V. loudly in case they have forgotten (chortle)

Regards,

Ally p.

 

 

You guys are really trying hard to get us in trouble! I can tell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bernie]

When approaching a lock, bring your boat into the side but if the lock is in use by another boat coming in your direction, quickly jump back on then erratically steer your boat so that you block their exit by accident. Anything in fact so that you don't need to give a hand.

[alan_fincher]

3. When moored up for a break near the start of a flight of locks,(single ones) secure your boat with the centre rope only using a quick release knot. You can now sit on your rear deck with a cuppa waiting for a boat to appear, let him get within a hundred yards, then start engine, release mooring rope and jump out in front of him, pretending you didn't see him coming

Brilliant

 

Don't you love it when you discover that the boat that just got going in front of you in the nick of time, is either trailing lines in the water, or still has them knotted to hastily pulled pins, lying in a jumble on the deck, (with the crew frantically trying to hide the evidence about just how quickly they got going!)......

 

With luck, they've left at least the hammer laying on the bank

[fuzzyduck]

7. Assist BW with their packet boat trials by buying a cruiser that's massively over powered for the canal environment, and then perform engine tests at 2 in the morning.

[nigel carton]

Brilliant

 

Don't you love it when you discover that the boat that just got going in front of you in the nick of time, is either trailing lines in the water, or still has them knotted to hastily pulled pins, lying in a jumble on the deck, (with the crew frantically trying to hide the evidence about just how quickly they got going!)......

 

With luck, they've left at least the hammer laying on the bank

 

 

Doesn't bother me to much as I'm getting paid to deliver somebody elses pride and joy. I usually pass them very early in the morning anyway when there fast asleep. Its nice at 5am this time of year when all the nuggets are tucked up in there beds.

[jollyroger]

If you are helping a boat go up a lock you MUST open the gate paddles quickly for 2 reasons

1. It washes the front of the boat

2. It gives the helmsman chance to show how good he is in bouncing the boat off the gates

p.s You must wear a Captains hat at all times

[allybsc]

If you are helping a boat go up a lock you MUST open the gate paddles quickly for 2 reasons

1. It washes the front of the boat

2. It gives the helmsman chance to show how good he is in bouncing the boat off the gates

p.s You must wear a Captains hat at all times

 

 

I'm only going to wear my captains hat with my Marilyn Manson T.shirt, it's the only thing it matches!!!

Regards,

Ally p.

(and you think i'm joking)

[dor]

When going up a flight of narrow locks with friends on another boat, always stop above the lock to help your friends through rather than going on to the next lock. This gives the person in a following boat more chance to chat to you and discover what an interesting person you are.

 

When said person decides to stop for a while to let you get a couple of locks ahead, now is a good time for you to both moor up for a nice cup of tea just before a lock. Then when the following boat catches up with you again, you have ample opportunity to let them discover even more about your scintillating pesonality.

 

 

Oh how I wish this wasn't true.

[Webchem]

These are great.

 

I feel a book of Canal World Discussion Forum tips coming on.

 

[NB Esk]

Moor up and walk down the towpath.........as if you've nothing to do with canals. Get a local chive to open the bottom paddles (he'l have his own windlass) and surf down stream, on an old plank.

You'll need half a brick in each hand, for balance, and if you're lucky enough to meet a narrowboat approaching the lock, you can use these to chuck at it.......

[Hairy-Neil]

5. When approaching a visitors mooring and tieing up for the night, try and leave a nice gap between you and the next boat, its rude to share the same mooring ring. That way, all them nasty people who like to cruise after 3pm will have no room and have to go else where.

 

 

I've moved boats moored like this before now including just getting on with it without asking first. Previously I've asked and on occasion, got a negative response. The old private owner syndrome again.....What you can get away with when skippering BW's heritage boats......Don't think it would work the same somehow on a hire boat.

[jollyroger]

When there is nowhere to moor at popular places, moor up on a water point, but you must connect your water hose. turning the tap on is optional, also don't forget to moan about the slow water flow

[GRPCruiserman]

7. Assist BW with their packet boat trials by buying a cruiser that's massively over powered for the canal environment, and then perform engine tests at 2 in the morning.

 

Or buy a steel boat, and because you have paid more for your boat and you have a high powered job during the week which allows you to do very little work, earn lots of money, drive a big flash car and shout at lots of people, then you OWN the canal anyway, don't you? So why shouldn't you jump any queue going?

[nichimyo]

Or buy a steel boat, and because you have paid more for your boat and you have a high powered job during the week which allows you to do very little work, earn lots of money, drive a big flash car and shout at lots of people, then you OWN the canal anyway, don't you? So why shouldn't you jump any queue going?

 

Ooooh, or alternativley buy the biggest cruiser you can for the waterway (especially if it's a river, then you can buy a boat you should really take to sea). That will give you the right to go whatever speed you like past moored boats, because by the time the occupants have opened their mouths to shout "slow down PLEASE" at you, you're a hundred yards or more up or down river anyway.

[Carrie]

When approaching a lock, bring your boat into the side but if the lock is in use by another boat coming in your direction, quickly jump back on then erratically steer your boat so that you block their exit by accident. Anything in fact so that you don't need to give a hand.

 

 

Look, it was an acident okay Bernie! And it was my first lock !

Doh. I'm beginning to get nervous I will commit a faux-pas with all you experienced folk looking on. Be gentle with us learners - you were all there once, I'm sure.