Depraved Ducks

[beerbeerbeerbeerbeer]

22 minutes ago, magnetman said:

In life there is one thing that a duck can't do, a goose can do and a lawyer is supposed to do. 

 

 

Look the other way? 🤷‍♀️

[booke23]

Yes, funny birds Ducks. We inadvertently moored opposite a Duck sleeping area the other week. It was a very rural and isolated area and all was quiet when we turned in at around 10.30pm. I was awoken just before midnight by a strange noise.....some kind of scratching noise on the boat. I lay there deadly still, listening hard.....convinced someone was on the boat about to break in.

 

I could hear a gentle splash of water which confused me for a moment, then it hit me.....Of course!, the bandit must be in a canoe and has come alongside attempting to board, clever....very clever I thought.  I had to do something, I started planning an assault......Yes I would burst through the bow doors with the torch in one hand and the lump hammer in the other hand and proceed down the gunwale like Errol Flynn in a swashbuckler film. The blaggard would soon be paddling for his life! 

 

Just as I was about to step out of bed and launch my assault I heard another noise.....A quack followed by wing flapping on the roof. Then I realised the truth of the matter....it was a midnight Duck squabble. I lay there cursing their stupidity. In the distance I could also hear Foxes (animals, not the vloggers) calling, and I too wondered how this species survives noisily squabbling in the middle of the night without getting eaten by foxes. 

The ducks quietened down eventually and I got back to sleep. In the morning, I got up and went out onto the well deck to look around and realised how the ducks kept the foxes at bay......by sleeping on our solar panels!! They were all up there lined up like......ducks. Across the canal on the off side there was a large area of flattened reeds where the ducks usually sleep. I will try not to moor in a duck sleeping area again!

 

 

7 hours ago, Alan de Enfield said:

Thats what you get for Peking .....................

That's a very good joke.......in fact it's a quacker! 

Edited April 8, 2022 by booke23

[Tony1]

7 minutes ago, booke23 said:

 

Just as I was about to step out of bed and launch my assault I heard another noise.....A quack followed by wing flapping. Then I realised the truth of the matter....it was a midnight Duck squabble. I lay there cursing their stupidity. In the distance I could also hear Foxes (animals, not the vloggers) calling, and I too wondered how this species survives noisily squabbling in the middle of the night without getting eaten by foxes. 

 

 

I very occasionally have a late-ish night, and I must say that no matter how late I retire, it never seems to be too late for the local ducks to have some sort of altercation. They're worse than a gang of chavs outside an off license on Saturday night.

And the aggression levels are high over food, as well as women. If I'm feeding a local pair, and another pair try to get in on the action, the local male will go ballistic on the intruders, to the point that he's so busy being a horrible little b****rd that he doesnt get any food himself, and his missus gets the lot. 

Which is fair enough really. I always try to make sure the females get the lions share of any food, on the basis that they are probably bearing young, and they're going to need the extra nutrition.  

That said, the females are very quick and efficient in picking up food. Throw a handful of feed pellets between a pair, and the female will get two thirds of them. 

I have a theory that if you threw a handful of high-end Belgian chocolates in between a human couple, the female would be similarly efficient in collecting most of them.

It's just a theory.

Don't shoot the messenger here. 

 

[TheBiscuits]

2 hours ago, Tony1 said:

I always try to make sure the females get the lions share of any food, on the basis that they are probably bearing young, and they're going to need the extra nutrition.  

 

You are aware that ducks lay eggs right?  They don't "bear young", they hatch the eggs ...

[Tony1]

1 minute ago, TheBiscuits said:

 

You are aware that ducks lay eggs right?  They don't "bear young", they hatch the eggs ...

 

A thousand apologies my dear Mr Biscuits. Perhaps even more than that. 

I am, as you can see, no zoologist, however I was aware that ducks produce their offspring contained within eggs.

My terminological inexactitude was perhaps a result of the high fever of my extreme artistic license, combined with post-traumatic peturbation (PTB) after the graphic duck sex scenes I witnessed the other day. 

The filthy licentious scoundrels are still quacking away outside the windows even as I write. 

 

 

[Ronaldo47]

Our sleep was disturbed by ducks clomping over the roof when we overnighted in the Stratford-on-Avon canal basin one Easter when it was still run by the NT.  I had thought it was just because the ducks were being  kept awake because  basin was brightly illuminated at night by the street lights of the adjacent road.

 

I subsequently heard about the mating habits of ducks in a radio programme. Apparently females are most in danger of drowning when several competing males attempt to mate her at the same time.

Edited April 8, 2022 by Ronaldo47

[Chris Lowe]

When I lived in a mobile home I had a duc come back and nest in the same spot every year.

 

They were amusing to watch though, they regularly used my neighbors roof as a landing strip, very funny when they over shot and hit the bushes.

[Stroudwater1]

Saw this fight the other day at Saul junction- it was I thought drakes trying to drown each other 

 

 

Im not sure why they are celebrating at Braunston though- Easter perhaps 🤣