Hudds Lad

I hope you booked passage with CRT before ordering a pint?

You're behind the curve, it's e-bikes & e-scooters nowadays

They're ok, until they float into the vicinity of lock gates. Or if the boat in front's wake pulls it back into the main channel and you have to play corpse bingo and hope your gentle nudge doesn't pop it, or even better there's enough room to swerve it. Similar to reedbergs, but a whole lot stinkier

I hear they do a good tapestry

I'd not fancy hoiking it out if it's started to swell/stink especially after the recent hot weather. Suspect neither the farmer nor the Peel lot would fancy it either. There was a dead deer in the "unstable" cutting between Brinklow and Rose Narrowboats that we reported, it was still there a month later, no way i was going to try hooking that with the bargepole

Norman Stanley Fletcher....... etc.

Are the "out and about" sightings when moored, and not when moving then? The spotters we saw clocked us as we passed them, and one was when we were locking. I dunno, clutching at straws here. Although i've seen on the book of face that some people's boats were spotted on canals they've not even been on.

Snap. Although i mean for our boat, i'm not stalking Kelpie

I'm guessing they only log you out and about if you have no declared home mooring? I checked ours for fun, and the only sightings are the marinas where we've been based. We've definitely been clocked by spotters a few times when out cruising.

With a small mountain of coal on the roof you're going to spend more time meerkatting from side to side to see where you're going, which will increase the rocking as well. You could cruise the shallowest canals for winter, so any chance of capsizing is minimised as you'll hit bottom before reaching tipping point. Or invest in two more boats, strap one either side of your boat Hawaii 5-0 style to increase stability. This would have the added bonus of giving even more coal storage space and you'd be the toasty toast of the canals.

We came back up this lock a couple of weeks ago, and J asked me what was wrong with it, being a bit thick i had to have it explained to me (and the boat blocked my view forward, honest). The head gates were entirely leak free, not a single dribble to be seen. We found this odd as the pound above turned out to be about a foot and a half down. Sad that the best gates we've seen on the system so far have been knacked

Shhhhhhhhhhh, don't use the C word!!

4G is still a thing and achievable most places. You don't want that 5G thing, it's the devil's work, ruins crops, causes birth defects, allows remote control of the populace by China etc. Did your boat not come with the obligatory tin foil hat??

In my limited experience it's generally pants to not existent depending on where you are moored compared to the marina's WiFi repeaters, also it's bandwidth will be shared between all the moorers who manage to connect and are spanking it for all it's worth. If you need to rely on internet for work, get your own.

From CRT: "Following consultation we're planning further pre-bookable moorings in London, including at Kings Cross (Regent’s Canal) and Sweetwater in the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park (Lee Navigation)."

Little Venice in London, Salthouse Docks in Liverpool? I'm not entirely sure if i'm honest.

We use a tent peg puller, saves kneeling in the odd ants nest or general wetness, it's about two and a half feet in length. Picked it up cheap on Amazon, sadly no longer listed. Was called "the back saver" or similar.

The small yellow connector with the removable white adapter will do every tap we've come across so far, so yes.

We have a lovely engineered oak floor in our boat, you can't see much of it for all the rugs though as it's too sodding cold in winter

Close, but no cigar. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoover_sound I shared a house with two lads at Uni, '90-'92, who were heavily into the whole rave scene so developed a special dislike for that Dominator track.

Being a crusty old hairy type i'd have to report it to the mods for discrimination Or just not read it.

With a few "builders" now just churning out cookie cutter boats with only a few variable options, this would seem sensible.