Marina Gossip

[tonyreptiles]

Following on from the thread about marina cliques I was reminded of some gossip here at the marina I'm moored at.

 

When I arrived here about a year ago I was halfway through a 2 year sabattical from work during which I was writing a series of books and writing occasionally for magazines. I'm still waiting to reap the rewards of the books and the magazine articles bought in only a meagre amount of cash. Luckilly I had quite a wedge of savings and investments to fall back on. However, as far as the marina folk were concerned I didn't have a "job".

 

Alongside this, they noted that I seemed to have a fair few female visitors. Some of these were indeed friends of mine, some of t hese were Personal Training clients. (I'm a fitness professional) Also,as I was single for a while, hey, some of theme were "girlfriends". After all, I'm pretty good looking you know and girls like me.....what can I do?? ;-)

 

So, no job, not short of a few quid and a stream of femal visitors?

 

Of course, I'm a PIMP!

 

Goes without saying doesn't it!?

 

I heard the rumour from a couple of close buddies on the marina and I have to say I was quite tickled. In fact, i did nothing to dispell the rumours. I was quite happy with the Pimp Daddy image I had. Until one of the boaters took my current girlfriend to one side and said "I think you should know something about that fella you're seeing!"

 

Of course I had primed her before hand and she took it all in good humour. We did consider a show of me "Slapping her upside the head" and changing all of my light bulbs to red ones. But we resisted.

 

I like the community aspect of cut life and wouldn't swap it for the world. The gossip and rumour does piss me off sometimes though.

 

I gotta go now, bitch has dinner ready and my dealer is at the door.

 

Enjoy!!

 

TR

[Bones]

brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[NB Willawaw]

Unfortunately, marina life can be like village life.

This has its upsides, like people notice strangers hanging round (improved security) and people will rally round

for each other when necessary. However, the downside is pettiness and busybodies. Also, marinas have their fair share

of people with not much else to do than covet their neighbours boat and spread rumours !!

 

Don't overplay it too much - they will have a petition drawn up to remove the undesirables from their number !!

[Janet S]

TR

 

I'm not well up on this text speak stuff, but I think the required phrase is ROFLMAO!

 

Janet

[wrigglefingers]

TR

 

I'm not well up on this text speak stuff, but I think the required phrase is ROFLMAO!

 

Janet

 

Eh?

 

Shep

[carlt]

TR

 

I'm not well up on this text speak stuff, but I think the required phrase is ROFLMAO!

 

Janet

I believe it's 'rolling on the floor laughing my arse off' but please feel free to correct me.

 

edited to say: Of course, if, as your signature implies, you're actually one of the collies in the avatar (too damned clever for their own good, collies) then you could substitute 'laughing' for 'licking'.

Edited March 4, 2007 by carlt

[tonyreptiles]

Collies?

 

They look like cats to me. Still too damned clever though. TR

[carlt]

Collies?

 

They look like cats to me. Still too damned clever though. TR

You're absolutely right, I really must get a new laptop. This sinclair spectrum has really had it's day.

[wrigglefingers]

You're absolutely right, I really must get a new laptop. This sinclair spectrum has really had it's day.

 

ROFLMAO!

 

Sorry Carl, Astro is most miffed - he considers that collies are far lesser type. Thea is not bothered; she's currently calculating what pitch propeller we need as mine has a large chip out of it.

 

Jill

 

PS we all thought your joke on the eclipse thread very funny but then we all need to get out more!

Edited March 4, 2007 by wrigglefingers

[Bones]

Well, well well. Someone went into the gents lavs on monday night and smashed them to smitherines with a hammer. It must have been at night because one of the bargees had a shower at 10pm. The rumour is it has to be someone on the inside, and someone with a grudge.... someone has been evicted recently....

 

Rather amusingly this means only the ladies is in operation. Yesterday our charming french resident decided to clean up, and as the mens were closed he waited for a lull in proceedings and dashed into the ladies for a shower. All was going well, some ladies came in, and then he heard them leave the showers. realising he would have to make his escape while the coast was clear he was about to leap out when he heard the hair dryers going - at this point, when recounting the story, he was aghast because he had forgotten about 'the ladies and their hair'. Unable to wait any longer he decided to leave anyway - with gasps from the others as he left. Later on I learnt that it was two marina ladies who were in the showers at the time and it seems they are still having palpitations at a 'man' being in the ladies.

 

Of course, we were quick to point out that had the ladies been smashed up, non of us would have thought twice about taking the mens facilities over, and indeed - if there was any fuss we would have evicted the men and sent them outside with a bucket and a hosepipe.

[carlt]

Yesterday our charming french resident decided to clean up,

'Frenchman has a shower!' Worth a news bulletin in itself.

[nickelodeus]

...sounds like "Carry on Behind" but with boats instead of caravans!

[Big John]

Following on from the thread about marina cliques ....

Which thread was that please? Sounds interesting

[StoneHenge]

We had an incident at the weekend, where we had our old leisure starter battery to dispose of and up until recently (we now know), there used to be a skip where the rubbish disposal is and you could dispose of them there. There used to be a sign up.

 

Anyhoo, hubby went to see if this was still there but the sign had gone, so before doing anything he sent the son down to the marina shop to ask if old batteries could still be disposed of down the rubbish area, and he returned to say yes.

 

So off he went to dispose of the battery. In the meantime, 'someone' saw his do this, and promptly reported him the next day to the marina shop for the disposal of a battery which was not allowed. So that prompted a letter from them to us to say next time we should go to the tip.

 

Quite shocked by this, hubby went into fight his corner, explained about the son checking it was OK etc etc, and they were fine about the whole thing, and it's procedure apparently to write a letter if you do anything untoward. We didn't want it to be a 'black mark for somehting we did in innocence and with the belief that it was OK.

 

But what got me (all that aside) was that whoever it was that reported us could have come over and had a nice friendly word about that sort of thing not being allowed, and hubby would have taken it straight back and taken it to the tip. No problem at all. So why oh why did they report us instead.

 

I think that's quite petty when it would just have taken a quiet word.

[honey ryder]

Well, well well. Someone went into the gents lavs on monday night and smashed them to smitherines with a hammer. It must have been at night because one of the bargees had a shower at 10pm. The rumour is it has to be someone on the inside, and someone with a grudge.... someone has been evicted recently....

 

Rather amusingly this means only the ladies is in operation. Yesterday our charming french resident decided to clean up, and as the mens were closed he waited for a lull in proceedings and dashed into the ladies for a shower. All was going well, some ladies came in, and then he heard them leave the showers. realising he would have to make his escape while the coast was clear he was about to leap out when he heard the hair dryers going - at this point, when recounting the story, he was aghast because he had forgotten about 'the ladies and their hair'. Unable to wait any longer he decided to leave anyway - with gasps from the others as he left. Later on I learnt that it was two marina ladies who were in the showers at the time and it seems they are still having palpitations at a 'man' being in the ladies.

 

Of course, we were quick to point out that had the ladies been smashed up, non of us would have thought twice about taking the mens facilities over, and indeed - if there was any fuss we would have evicted the men and sent them outside with a bucket and a hosepipe.

 

to give the story an extra slant, both myself and the french resident went to clean up after finishing the hull scraping for yet another night.

I was curious to see the damage to the mens toilets so I had a look inside, quite a few mirrors are missing ( i presume who ever did the smashing didnt like his own reflection), and one of the mens urinals is missing the pottery bit and the wall is sporting a few naked fittings.

SO while I was in there i thought, hey its quiet, why not use these showers instead... infact, why not share a shower and save some water at the same time....

anyway time came to leave and the french person went out first like a criminal looking to see if the coast is clear... I walk out bold as brass because I dont care and we got a nice smile from a fella walking up to use the facilities.

 

to add to the marina gossip....

 

on the other side of the marina where our boat is currently sitting out of the water in the work area we've met the neighbours there too. one side is a nice girl living a tiny space in a fast jet driven boat that was in james bond film "the spy who loved me"

and on the otherside is a fridge loving man who lives in what can only be described as a boatshaped shed.

im not sure if he ever intends on trying to float it, it could be a while yet before its sea worthy.

So, the maintenance area has shared powerpoints, however it seems "shared" only applies to first come first served and once youre plugged in you can claim the socket as yours until you die. Said shed loving neighbour became quite irate last night when he discovered "all his clocks needed resetting and his fridge and freezers were all defrosted"

first of all how many clocks does a man need in a shed, and why do they need to be mains powered?

secondly why would someone have freezers (plural) that would defrost immediately when power is down for an hour?

 

I flatly denied unplugging him, but in fact i did because when i checked out all the meters his was the only one not showing any power use.

also I only unplugged him about an hour before he came and complained. which surely isnt enough time to defrost a closed fridge...

 

He said to me and I quote " ive been plugged in here for 9 months and i never had a problem until you arrived, ive always been plugged into the same socket for 9 months. when people just arrive they need to understand they must find their way to fit into our network over here and realise when people were here first you cant just go unplugging them"

then he added about the marina regulations about how you arent supposed to work after 5pm...

as soon as anyone starts spouting marina regs my heckels go up, and at the point im ready to torch his shed.

I tried to politely end the conversation before i lost my cool...

 

I think im going to have some fun with the power cables before we leave the maintenance area... lets play, musical plugs.

 

(I may be wrong here, but last time i looked, a maintenance area was for doing maintenance on your boat, not for living in and using it as a mobile home park.... )

Edited March 15, 2007 by honey ryder

[Kris]

This is starting to worry me a bit!

I don't yet live onboard but i'm planning to soon. I'm 21 and will be living with my 2 best friends Sarah and Matt. I like to wear baggy jeans / combats and oversized t-shirts! I'm a professional, sensible person and avoid trouble and confrontation like I would a large, led-covered brick. But I can imagine first impressions would be 'YOUTH!!' Hopfully we can tuck ourselves into a corner somewhere! Would rather not be in a marina anyway just along the bank somewhere with a couple of other people nearby.

 

Kris

[Bones]

honey rider - your power tales are just incredible, what on earth do people think that area is actually for!!! I hope you have kept your foot down and used all the plugs!!!!!!!

 

 

This is starting to worry me a bit!

I don't yet live onboard but i'm planning to soon. I'm 21 and will be living with my 2 best friends Sarah and Matt. I like to wear baggy jeans / combats and oversized t-shirts! I'm a professional, sensible person and avoid trouble and confrontation like I would a large, led-covered brick. But I can imagine first impressions would be 'YOUTH!!' Hopfully we can tuck ourselves into a corner somewhere! Would rather not be in a marina anyway just along the bank somewhere with a couple of other people nearby.

 

Kris

 

You'll be fine!!

Edited March 27, 2007 by Bones

[carlt]

This is starting to worry me a bit!

I like to wear baggy jeans / combats and oversized t-shirts!

Kris

You'll find this attire has now replaced the bonnet and spider braces as trad boating garb.

The 'threesome' rumour about you lot has already begun, of course.

[honey ryder]

well, i may be dancing naked around the roof of my boat later because its finally finished!!!!

that should get the gossipers reaching for their shades.

 

we are directly opposite the marina office so they will get a good viewing too. maybe i can get evicted for not having the "right image"

[Bones]

well, i may be dancing naked around the roof of my boat later because its finally finished!!!!

that should get the gossipers reaching for their shades.

 

we are directly opposite the marina office so they will get a good viewing too. maybe i can get evicted for not having the "right image"

 

 

You will probably get a years free mooring!!!

 

congratulations!!!!! Were I not stranded in the town and unable to get home I would come and celebrate with you!!!

[carlt]

You will probably get a years free mooring!!!

 

congratulations!!!!! Were I not stranded in the town and unable to get home I would come and celebrate with you!!!

If you're dancing naked too I'll drive down and give you a lift.

[Kris]

The 'threesome' rumour about you lot has already begun, of course.

 

Yea, it started a while ago! The three of us joke about it anyway. There is a 4th as well! Matt, Simo, Sarah and myself. 3 guys just one girl! Oh the rumours will be flying! Poor Sarah!

[carlt]

Yea, it started a while ago! The three of us joke about it anyway. There is a 4th as well! Matt, Simo, Sarah and myself. 3 guys just one girl! Oh the rumours will be flying! Poor Sarah!

I can hear the shout at the presses of the 'towpath telegraph'...."HOLD THE FRONT PAGE".