Wheeeeze. Heavy breathing and condensation.

[bizzard]

Condensation on boats can be largely due to all the moisture exhaled whilst breathing. Two quite simple solutions for this are as follows.

Snorkels. These can be got with extra long tubes which by punching holes in strategically placed positions in your roof say above your favorite chairs and bed for the snorkel tubes to be poked through. You can then stick the instrument's mouthpiece in yer gob and exhale to the outside to you're heart's content all that breathy moisture.

The second method is more simple, but requires some electrical power and makes a rotten noise. The wet'n'dry vacuum cleaner of ''Henry'' fame will if a flexible sucking tube nozzle is chosen carefully that suits your lips embouchure will happily suck all the steamy breath out of you. I would advise wearing ear muffs with this method though.

Hope this helps.

[pquinn]

And if there is a heavy rainstorm and the snorkel fills with water you might drown and die and then there would be no problem with expelled air moisture.

[bizzard]

And if there is a heavy rainstorm and the snorkel fills with water you might drown and die and then there would be no problem with expelled air moisture.

I believe they have a plastic ball one way valve or something that bobbles about to prevent the drowning effect. If they didn't, you'd drown when Snorkeling anyway if you didn't do it right. You'll be gurgling a bit anyway.

A little mushroom cap fixed to the top would shed the rain.

[John Williamson 1955]

No worries, just put a chimney cap on the top of the snorkel. ;-)

[Peter X]

Rain wouldn't be a problem, Bizzard has really thought that one through.

 

I doubt if a snorkel would have a one-way valve, because when used for floating around pretending to be dead, don't they breathe in and out through the same tube? But this, and keeping the tube short to reduce the amount of air it contains, don't matter for our purposes, because our hypothetical boater lying in bed will breathe in the cabin air, then out through the tube. There shouldn't be much condensation in the tube because most of its length is inside the warm cabin, and it's made of plastic anyway.

[pquinn]

I believe they have a plastic ball one way valve or something that bobbles about to prevent the drowning effect. If they didn't, you'd drown when Snorkeling anyway if you didn't do it right. You'll be gurgling a bit anyway.

A little mushroom cap fixed to the top would shed the rain.

Awww! thats a pity.

[bizzard]

If you're worried about any choking effect that the Snorkel might bring on there is a third method, so don't panic. A simple breath extraction device can be rigged up with an old flexible vacuum cleaners hose fixed to your engines air intake with the other end secured tightly between the lips with a Jubilee clip, again choose a tube that suits your lips embouchure for a good leak free connection. With the engine running flat out it is sure to extract every globule of moisture out of you.

[8 Hairy Feet]

Hurray my new word for today is...

"emboucure"!

I am going to try to use it in a sentence later.

Fanks Sir Bizzard

[bizzard]

Hurray my new word for today is...

"emboucure"!

I am going to try to use it in a sentence later.

Fanks Sir Bizzard

My pleasure. Don't forget the ''H''. They explain all about embouchure in reed blown musical instruments tutorials to prevent the making of unmusical noises like ships foghorns that make audiences wince.

Edited March 18, 2015 by bizzard

[Emerald Fox]

Can you not just arrange your bed so that your head is in the cratch and the doors close about your neck? You know, half-circular cut-outs in each door.

[8 Hairy Feet]

Oh gosh and golly...what a prat

I be... of course I won't forget...I

will try to use "embouchure" properly in context

and everyfing

[bizzard]

Can you not just arrange your bed so that your head is in the cratch and the doors close about your neck? You know, half-circular cut-outs in each door.

And have folk chuck eggs and tomatoes at you from the toepath as if you're in the ''Stocks''.

[bizzard]

Oh gosh and golly...what a prat

I be... of course I won't forget...I

will try to use "embouchure" properly in context

and everyfing

Why not take up a reed blown musical instrument to learn embouchure. A bass saxophone for example which are massive and need plenty of wind. Although the Clarinet, my all time favourite reed instrument has a huge musical range of sounds and can make the most beautiful and melodious, haunting noises when blown by someone like Aka Bilk.

Edited March 18, 2015 by bizzard

[patty-ann]

Dear Mr Bizzard,

Thank you as always for your advice, dad left a hand drill in his tool kit just for me...he gave his electric to my bruvver, so Im just working out how many holes to drill and then thought would adorn roof with lots little umbrellas like those in drinks to keep rain out of holes not used...course have to go pub first to collect umbrellas. May have to buy few drinks to get the umbrellas..this is indeed a mission to keep me busy. I think i have snorkel someplace that belonged to son, in fact i have 3 so could rig up several to save having to move snorkels from place to place.

Regards

Patty

[Dekazer]

A perfect wheeeze to allow for surreptitious smoking as well, so as to avoid the unimpressed glances of one's partner. A secondary system might be required, but could be easily camouflaged.