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Breeze of the week.

bizzard

By bizzard
in Living Afloat

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bizzard Veteran II

bizzard

Posted
Posted

For all those energetic bicyclists out there that pedal along towpaths at boring low speeds and even on the open road cannot deliver enough power to the pedals via the old shanks to exceed more than about 25mph downhill with the wind up yer jacksy.

Well here's a simple way by which you can sample really powerful head winds on your bike, winds that'll make you gasp and struggle for breath which were never before known whilst riding a bike, not even by blokes riding and racing in the Tour de France or Milk race,

First of all you need a fast car capable of a ton plus with a strong roof with fixed to it one of those bicycle carrier type roof rack things which transports bikes in an upright position.

So mount securely your bike upright upon one of these racks fixed to you cars roof.

Remove the bikes chain from the pedal chainwheel. Then rig yourself up in your usual cycling attire, yer know the Licra go faster suit look if that's your thing, elbow pads, trouser clips but NOT the abnormal looking typical flying insect style streamlined cyclists crash helmet though but a full F1 racing car drivers helmet complete with tear off strips.

All you need now is a fast driver and a quiet stretch of motorway preferably at night to make it more exciting. So once you've engaged one and chosen your road scramble up via a little step ladder or a helpers shoulder from the hard shoulder onto your cars roof and mount yourself upon your tethered velocipede. When comfortable and ready, feet on the pedals ect shout the ''right away'' to the driver. Now at first up to your normal maximum cycling speed all will seem quite normal and blissful, the breeze wafting past, the stars all atwinkle in the sky above, the odd vehicle overtaking, ice cream vans playing Popeye the sailor, police sirens ect all the usual road sights and sounds, wonderful.

Whilst the cars accelerating its best if you keep time by peddling the pedals, which will help you to maintain your equalibrium, increasing and matching your peddling speed with the cars increasing speed.

At 50mph you will notice quite a wind pressure causing you to hang on to to handle bars more firmly. At 100mph which is well into hurricane force windspeed you will be hanging on for dear life and bent low like a motor bike racer whilst peddling so furiously that your legs are all ablurr. By this time you'll be hollering for the driver to stop but he won't hear you and will think your having a grand time up there. Depending on your cars top speed which will be inhibited by your wind resistance up there you may have to suffer it until the drivers had their high speed thrill and driven it flat out and forgotten about you before slowing up or the police have been nosy and intervened and done so.

The sensation experienced by this car roof cycling must be quite similar to someone lashed to a step ladder or sack barrow standing on an aeroplanes upper wing surface doing the wing walking stunt business whilst flying about. smile.png

 

 

 

 

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tree Rising Star

tree

Posted
Posted

Ahem!! But master bizzard moi is very fond of my insect streamlined helmet, it helps take my mind off the bumps in the road, esp if moi has forgotten to wear my Lycra padded cycle shorts. Alas this is very difficult for me at times to chuck my bike up on its contraption on the roof rack.. Have you a diy foldy,lightweight,stepladder thingy me bob possibly with added hydraulics???I eagerly await the blueprint plans :-) tank you kindly

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bizzard Veteran II

bizzard

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Posted (edited)

Ahem!! But master bizzard moi is very fond of my insect streamlined helmet, it helps take my mind off the bumps in the road, esp if moi has forgotten to wear my Lycra padded cycle shorts. Alas this is very difficult for me at times to chuck my bike up on its contraption on the roof rack.. Have you a diy foldy,lightweight,stepladder thingy me bob possibly with added hydraulics???I eagerly await the blueprint plans :-) tank you kindly

Oh go on then Tree wear you flying insect helmet if you want to but wear goggles. Perhaps a concertina type mobile aircraft passenger embarkation tube thing could be borrowed from Heathrow airport to assist you to mount your car top steed, in which case the local part of the M4 or M25 or even the airports perimeter road could be used for your cycling thrill of a lifetime.

Dear Mr Bizzard,

I'm a bit scared of you, but

in a nice way.

Yours sincerely,

steffxxx

Booo!! sad.png

Edited by bizzard
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