WHHEEEZZE of the week

[bizzard]

Ahoy folks,i've been a bit busy of late and not had much time to record any of my inspirational nonsense of which i have compiled a long list but rarely actually make use of but usually wait until some simple thing comes traipsing across my mind and stirs up the old grey matter a bit into inventive uncontrolabilityness like now so here goes.

Various posts on this ere forum lately have had folk goin on about stoves, Eco-fans,computer fans,cold feet,getting unfit with just sitting about all the time playing on computers,the worst possible way and main reason for becoming unfit and getting cold feet, whilst your boat falls into rack and ruin around you.

Well all that electricity usage ''drainage of batteries needs making up so here's a solution to do so QUIETLY,no running engines ect.

Make up a framework of bits of angle iron or Dexion about as big and as high as a footstool.Get an old bicycle chainwheel,pedals,toe clips and axle,mount this unit on two bearing onto the frame nearest you,now mount an alternator with a bike rear wheel chain sprocket fixed to its spindle to the other end of the frame and connect both chainwheel and alternator together, funnily enough with a chain. Note;--oil it well.

THE WIRING;-- Connect two heavy cables,one from the big terminal on the alternator to your butteries Pos + lug and the other from its body to your batteries Neg- lug,with big beefy crocodile clips.

SET UP AND USE;--- Erect this contrivance on the floor at a comfortable distance before you and your most comfortable chair,sit down comfortably and then begin.Place bike racing shoe shod tootsies in the toe clips on pedals,tuck trousers into socks and started turning those pedals feeling the alternators resistance as it feeds all them there volts and amps back into your batteries.Of course if using a laptop at the same time a horrid vicious circle is set up as you try desparatley in vain to keep pace with the ''juice''that your laptops using.However,powerfully legged folk can bolt on say a 120amp alternator and so generate away with amps to spare. To help peddle this machine at its optimum i recommend playing quick time pop music.

So you can now chuck away those Eco-fans,computer fans and the like,as your tootsies will always be lovely and warm,legs will get fitter and fitter and who knows,one day using this enormous leg power you could even sell the excess power generated back to the national grid by clamping a couple of long jumper leads from your alternator to any convenient overhead 11000kv power cables.

So keep fit and warm this winter whilst generating folks. Bizzard.

[Rebotco]

Ahoy folks,i've been a bit busy of late and not had much time to record any of my inspirational nonsense of which i have compiled a long list but rarely actually make use of but usually wait until some simple thing comes traipsing across my mind and stirs up the old grey matter a bit into inventive uncontrolabilityness like now so here goes.

Various posts on this ere forum lately have had folk goin on about stoves, Eco-fans,computer fans,cold feet,getting unfit with just sitting about all the time playing on computers,the worst possible way and main reason for becoming unfit and getting cold feet, whilst your boat falls into rack and ruin around you.

Well all that electricity usage ''drainage of batteries needs making up so here's a solution to do so QUIETLY,no running engines ect.

Make up a framework of bits of angle iron or Dexion about as big and as high as a footstool.Get an old bicycle chainwheel,pedals,toe clips and axle,mount this unit on two bearing onto the frame nearest you,now mount an alternator with a bike rear wheel chain sprocket fixed to its spindle to the other end of the frame and connect both chainwheel and alternator together, funnily enough with a chain. Note;--oil it well.

THE WIRING;-- Connect two heavy cables,one from the big terminal on the alternator to your butteries Pos + lug and the other from its body to your batteries Neg- lug,with big beefy crocodile clips.

SET UP AND USE;--- Erect this contrivance on the floor at a comfortable distance before you and your most comfortable chair,sit down comfortably and then begin.Place bike racing shoe shod tootsies in the toe clips on pedals,tuck trousers into socks and started turning those pedals feeling the alternators resistance as it feeds all them there volts and amps back into your batteries.Of course if using a laptop at the same time a horrid vicious circle is set up as you try desparatley in vain to keep pace with the ''juice''that your laptops using.However,powerfully legged folk can bolt on say a 120amp alternator and so generate away with amps to spare. To help peddle this machine at its optimum i recommend playing quick time pop music.

So you can now chuck away those Eco-fans,computer fans and the like,as your tootsies will always be lovely and warm,legs will get fitter and fitter and who knows,one day using this enormous leg power you could even sell the excess power generated back to the national grid by clamping a couple of long jumper leads from your alternator to any convenient overhead 11000kv power cables.

So keep fit and warm this winter whilst generating folks. Bizzard.

 

 

I can see it now - The William Tell Overture belting out and poor old Bizzard sweating buckets all over the place!

 

But think of the diesel you'll save, not having to run the engine to top up your batteries.

 

The mind boggles at the genius of the (poor) man!

 

Brian

[bizzard]

I can see it now - The William Tell Overture belting out and poor old Bizzard sweating buckets all over the place!

 

But think of the diesel you'll save, not having to run the engine to top up your batteries.

 

The mind boggles at the genius of the (poor) man!

 

Brian

I'm fit though, ''fit to drop''but with nice warm feet.

[bizzard]

A mains Travel power alternator could also be easily adapted to fit on the frame and be pedal powered to work washing machines and the like,but i'd not get too exited or impatient to try that just yet but wait and see how strong your leg muscles get.I would wear proper cycle clips too for one of them, rather than tucking all yer trouser legs into your socks.Also a bicycle bell to warn folk to keep clear of the whizzing cogs,chain,pedals and of course the possibility of electric shocks from the Travel-power thing.

A heart-rate beat meter and a bottle of Nitro-glycerine pills might come in handy too to help cope with all the effort and endurance.

[steven wilkinson]

and the second best bit - after free electricity - is, you can do all this sitting down! Result!

[bizzard]

and the second best bit - after free electricity - is, you can do all this sitting down! Result!

Yes of course and during the summer the whole caboozle with bell and chair and all can be set up on the towpath in the sun with the wires run inside.Also a bob can be earned by fixing a grindstone wheel next to the alternators sprocket and peddled up to high speed to do a knife and scissor blade sharpening service for a moderate sum to passers by.

If it should turn out rainy i suggest donning a bicycling cape, sou'wester,wellies and gauntlets to look appropriate and so not to appear like some imbecile and so retain your canal cred.

[by'eck]

So you can now chuck away those Eco-fans,computer fans and the like,as your tootsies will always be lovely and warm,legs will get fitter and fitter and who knows,one day using this enormous leg power you could even sell the excess power generated back to the national grid by clamping a couple of long jumper leads from your alternator to any convenient overhead 11000kv power cables.

So keep fit and warm this winter whilst generating folks. Bizzard.

 

I am totally shocked nay flabbergasted that a well respected and normally technically adept forum member should make such an ill thought suggestion.

 

Its a well known fact that there are no 11000kV power lines.

 

Nevertheless it is clear that in these austere times some members may easily be tempted to take your advice and hurt themselves falling off national grid superstructures in an attempt to find these non-existant power lines, not to mention the potentially shocking results.

 

I feel therefore I must object in the very strongest manner to the extent of asking the forum administrators to edit if not remove your post

[bizzard]

I am totally shocked nay flabbergasted that a well respected and normally technically adept forum member should make such an ill thought suggestion.

 

Its a well known fact that there are no 11000V power lines.

 

Nevertheless it is clear that in these austere times some members may easily be tempted to take your advice and hurt themselves falling off national grid superstructures in an attempt to find these non-existant power lines, not to mention the potentially shocking results.

 

I feel therefore I must object in the very strongest manner to the extent of asking the forum administrators to edit if not remove your post

I feel quite humbled and indeed quite special ahem to be addressed by such an authority and super expurt in the field of all things electrical as yourself Richard.The K of course would multiply the grid voltage to an astronomicle amount and was added to the V as a tester to attract expurts like yourself to the intended mistake.So as no other professional or self appointed electrical expert has noticed this intentional mistake i shall be very wary of any electrical advice that they should proffer on this forum in future.

Have no fear the buisiness of this wheeze is quite harmless,just wear rubber gloves.

 

Yours indignantly Bizzard.

Edited January 29, 2012 by bizzard

[by'eck]

I feel quite humbled and indeed quite special ahem to be addressed by such an authority and super expurt in the field of all things electrical as yourself Richard.The K of course would multiply the grid voltage to an astronomicle amount and was added to the V as a tester to attract expurts like yourself to the intended mistake.So as no other professional or self appointed electrical expert has noticed this intentional mistake i shall be very wary of any electrical advice that they should proffer on this forum in future.

Have no fear the buisiness of this wheeze is quite harmless,just wear rubber gloves.

 

Yours indignantly Bizzard.

 

Absolutely nothing personal Bizzard, I only had the well being of other forum members at heart

 

I have to say though the rubber gloves should have been mentioned in your first post

[bizzard]

Absolutely nothing personal Bizzard, I only had the well being of other forum members at heart

 

I have to say though the rubber gloves should have been mentioned in your first post

That's quite all right Richard,i understand that you along with your contemporaries on this forum are becoming bored and restless with no big electrical problem to solve at the moment. As some of my wheezes contain involvement of that invisible and therefore mysterious force ''electricity''to such a high technical level of the subject i feel that they are way way above your head and therefore you should keep to more elementary and simple forms of electronics such as door bells and the like,no offense intended of course.

Regards Bizzard.

[davewally]

I think at those voltages 2 pairs of rubber gloves might be needed.

 

Dave

[bizzard]

I think at those voltages 2 pairs of rubber gloves might be needed.

 

Dave

I'm developing a kind of strap on lightening conductor which should amply deal with this tiny and insignificant problem.

[by'eck]

That's quite all right Richard,i understand that you along with your contemporaries on this forum are becoming bored and restless with no big electrical problem to solve at the moment. As some of my wheezes contain involvement of that invisible and therefore mysterious force ''electricity''to such a high technical level of the subject i feel that they are way way above your head and therefore you should keep to more elementary and simple forms of electronics such as door bells and the like,no offense intended of course.

Regards Bizzard.

 

Actually loosing all faith in electronics at the moment, having had no success with my Mum's wireless doorbell. The neighbours seem to receive no end of visitors though judging by how often they come to the door

[Dyertribe]

The sort of passers by you are likely to find on the towpath carrying knives would be better left with blunt blades in my humble opinion

[bizzard]

Actually loosing all faith in electronics at the moment, having had no success with my Mum's wireless doorbell. The neighbours seem to receive no end of visitors though judging by how often they come to the door

Oh dear,perhaps it would be more satisfying for you to become more interested and involved in more tangeable things instead of the invisible like lumps of old iron,timber and such like.

[bizzard]

The sort of passers by you are likely to find on the towpath carrying knives would be better left with blunt blades in my humble opinion

No sharpen em up take their dosh and send em on their way.

[Rebotco]

Oh dear,perhaps it would be more satisfying for you to become more interested and involved in more tangeable things instead of the invisible like lumps of old iron,timber and such like.

 

Oi! You talkin' about my boat?

 

brian

[bizzard]

Oi! You talkin' about my boat?

 

brian

Could be,only you know the truth i reckon.

[NB Esk]

Not been around much of late & really missed the Wheeeeezes, great stuff. Is there a way to mount a Dynamo, rather than an Alternator? That way, with a flick of a hidden switch, power could return back to the Dynamo, acting like an electric motor. This could be used to impress any young lady in the vicinity, especially if a "brake" could be rigged up & operated (by a hidden lever of course) whilst she "had a go". She would think you were just like Arnold Shworzenegg, Arnold Schoowartt,... Charles Atlas. Any good...?

[bizzard]

Not been around much of late & really missed the Wheeeeezes, great stuff. Is there a way to mount a Dynamo, rather than an Alternator? That way, with a flick of a hidden switch, power could return back to the Dynamo, acting like an electric motor. This could be used to impress any young lady in the vicinity, especially if a "brake" could be rigged up & operated (by a hidden lever of course) whilst she "had a go". She would think you were just like Arnold Shworzenegg, Arnold Schoowartt,... Charles Atlas. Any good...?

Ahoy John.

That would be a good wheeze to have the generator reversed to power the operators legs,and a dynamo would be just the job,especially an old whopper from a bus or coach which could generate as many currants as a modern alternator.The Lucas RB type control box would be needed to control the voltage with the cut-out coil and contacts.If this control box is positioned within arms length of the peddler with the top cover removed and idles the pedals around slowly the cut out contacts will open,so all that would need to be done to reverse the current to drive the legs is to poke closed with a finger the cut-out contact,and so simplify matters by illiminating a switch.

The down side would be that because of this trick of showmanship,the power used to do it will have to be replaced so loads of extra furious peddling will be needed.

The lightening conductor for connecting the jump leads to overhead grid power cables is now complete it comprises 20 or so lengths of 1/16''welding rods stuffed a short way down the collar with all the ends sticking up around the head like a Ruff,this precaution along with the rubber gloves should satisfy the Health & safety mob.