Tunnel humour...

[twocvbloke]

Has anyone ever done anything silly or humorous in a tunnel? One example would be making farting noises (using your mouth or armpit or something like that, but not actually your backside!!!), making the sound echo all the way to the other end, or something like that...

 

Over to you lot...

[stuart23]

one thing i remember is the occupants of a hire boat using the boat pole to push themselves off the opposite wall and to keep themselves against the right hand wall...doing this even as we approached them...I think my expletive language managed to get them to remove the pole just before we met it

[alan_fincher]

We had a very small, low slung, plywood cabin cruiser back in the early 1970s.

 

It was "tunnel fodder", and undoubtedly more of a "splitter" than many GRP boats, at a time when the Grand Union tunnels were frequented by 70 foot working boats let out to inexperienced self-hire crews as camping boats.

 

In your right mind, with that boat, you'd want to get the tunnels out of the way as fast as possible.

 

For some reason I coudln't now explain, we decided to do a fairly detailed study of (particularly) Stoke Bruerne, which involved stopping under each air shaft for a thorough drenching, as well as looking into the side culverts. We must have spent twice as long in there as needed for a passage in a small boat, then repeated it on the return trip.

 

I can also remember leaving each of the tunnels, landing someone on the bank, then reversing back in, so we could have our picture taken when leaving.

 

Barking, with hindsight.

 

What did we do on that trip ? We left the "micro" boat at Braunston for a week, and hired a working boat from Union Canal Carriers, venturing into the tunnels as the inexperienced crew, likely to crush a plywood boat that stayed in there too long.

 

(Actually I don't remember hitting anything but the walls - I'll admit we might have speeded up the need for that 1980s rebuild. )

[Catrin]

On our recent three week summer trip the only time the binoculars were used was in tunnels. On the approach to a tunnel our son got them out, and then proceeded to give quite useful information about the boats ahead of us. Not perhaps why I'd originally packed them.

Cath

[Smelly]

When I first moved to Brum, before buying the boat I walked most of the BCN, including Netherton tunnel, down the side that's now closed. I was walking in the headlight of a boat (no torch) and chatting to the steerer, but about half way through his headlight gave up the ghost, and I ended up walking, pretty much blind bar his cabin lights (Netherton, the light doesn't carry to the towpath too well...) the rest of the way.

 

Every pot hole in the path was a heart in mouth moment.

 

I hope that's silly enough...

 

I also hope the people who painted the skellingtons in Harecastle own up... Go on, yer famous!

[Peter R]

Has anyone ever done anything silly or humorous in a tunnel? One example would be making farting noises (using your mouth or armpit or something like that, but not actually your backside!!!), making the sound echo all the way to the other end, or something like that...

 

Over to you lot...

 

Some friends that I did my first canal trips with had a habit of singing as we went through tunnels. Nothing wrong with that, you might think, however the songs they sang had lyrics which were, shall we say, interesting!

 

We were never entirely sure if the people waiting to enter the tunnel were able to distinguish the words. Personally, I hope not.

 

Peter

[alan_fincher]

I walked most of the BCN, including Netherton tunnel, down the side that's now closed.

I was expecting at least one towpath closed when we did it recently, but both sides were open, (only one side could have been locked, if I remember right...)

 

I understand some mad fools cycle those towpaths ? Respect!

[twocvbloke]

I understand some mad fools cycle those towpaths ? Respect!

 

I certainly wouldn't!!!

[Liam]

We'd not had our 27ft Nauticus for long when we'd arranged to meet my uncle (mum's bro) at Acton Bridge on the T&M. It was the first time we'd done the tunnel... we had originally set out the week before but had problems with the raw water cooling. The problem was a dodgy impeller but that was sorted, although the water pipe which was replaced was crap and had a habit of collapsing, causing the thing to overheat, as you can imagine... Anyway I was the one driving and went into the tunnel... nobody either in front or behind us. Half way through my Dad came out the cabin and looked behind the boat... loads of white/grey smoke bellowing out of what would usually be the wet exhaust... it was bone dry. My Dad is a natural panicker and so decided to have a look at the problem there and then incase we broke down in the tunnel. On our boat you had to lift up the back seat to reach the Perkins 4.108. He did that and with having problems with the water pipe, went straight for it but the problem was he couldn't reach it whilst also looking at it so he lifted up the seat, turned away from it so he could stretch his arm right in to reach the pipe.

 

I had a vague idea of what was going on but was too busy concentrating on the tunnel. The next thing I know my Dad goes back in the cabin, so thinking it was sorted sat back and enjoyed the ride but the next thing both my parents were on the back and my Dad had a red tea towel over his hand. The dosey bugger had stuck his finger in the alternator pulley, which had dragged his finger into, round and through the belt and alternator. Forgetting the over heating problem I put the boat in full throttle to get out of the tunnel. Eventually we emerged on the southern side where I moored up straight away. Luckily Nigel who used to be at Claymoore was taking a couple of new hirers out and with him having his car, told my parents to jump in so he could whizz them both to hospital. I was left on my own tying the boat up. I was only 14 and this was the first trip out on the boat... I had been on my uncles before but that was with somebody! I realised that I couldn't hog either the tunnel moorings or lock moorings but I didn't want to attempt the lock on my own (even though it is only a 6 inch rise).

 

In the next lot of boats, which were heading the same way as us was a bloke with his wife and I remember him kicking off big style because of where I was moored. I didn't really know what to say and although I tried to explain carried on shouting and swearing. There was a boat behind this muppet who told this bloke where to go, and after working themselves through the lock offered to help me through if I was up to it... which I was. In the end I moored up just passed Tim's yard and although I remember them telling me they were late getting back and were on a tight schedule, moored up in front of me and came every now and again offering tea, biscuits, sandwiches, cakes etc! After what seemed like an age my Mum and Dad came back in a taxi and even before they got back to the boat they'd started their engine and were off, waving. Turns out my Dad was rather lucky... he was wearing long sleeves at the time and could of ended up loosing his hand, never mind his index finger which was hanging on by a thread! It's healed okay... but there is still an obvious blue line nearly all the way around reminding him not to be that daft again.

 

I'll always remember that one but I am rather annoyed and upset that I didn't remember their names or the name of their boat. I'd very much like to get in touch to thank them properly.

Edited August 26, 2008 by Liam

[twocvbloke]

All I can say to that one is, ouch!!! Glad your dad's hand survived, but I guess it's one of those life lessons, don't mess with the engine when it's in use!!!

[Liam]

..... Then we moved up to a 38ft narrowboat.

 

We were out on the Easter bank holiday and managed to get caught up in load of boats... we had to wait for a few hours as there was that many boats they couldn't all make it through in time. Our turn eventually came but towards the middle I noticed the boat in front slow down... so of course I did. Shortly afterwards they stopped and so we had to. I turned off our engine straight away but nobody else seemed to realise that they should. It got very smoky, very fast.

 

Turns out there was a fair jam on both sides of the tunnel, made a bit worse by the extra time it takes to work through the stop lock. It was that bad I couldn't see and had a splitting headache about 2 minutes after. Had to go and hide in the boat!

 

What made it worse was that some stroppy madame had a go at us for coming through on their time, even though we'd waited for 3 hours. Didn't help either that boats still tried to get through the stop lock even though there were no room for any more.

[DHutch]

Yeah, nasty indeed.

- I have great respect for moving things with the weight of an engine behind them. Not nice.

 

 

Best ive done is to climb over the bows of emilyanne (about 4ft high) down onto an unfamilur cruiser splat in the middle of harecastle (outboard and folded down top) and then proceaded to learn the controls and drive it out of the tunnel after the owner had run into massive problems (lack of control-wise) with his new boat.

 

 

 

That and playing music while cruising.

- The joys of a nearsilently propelled boat! Bit of 'No doubt' anyone. Good times.

 

 

Daniel

[twocvbloke]

..... Then we moved up to a 38ft narrowboat.

 

We were out on the Easter bank holiday and managed to get caught up in load of boats... we had to wait for a few hours as there was that many boats they couldn't all make it through in time. Our turn eventually came but towards the middle I noticed the boat in front slow down... so of course I did. Shortly afterwards they stopped and so we had to. I turned off our engine straight away but nobody else seemed to realise that they should. It got very smoky, very fast.

 

Turns out there was a fair jam on both sides of the tunnel, made a bit worse by the extra time it takes to work through the stop lock. It was that bad I couldn't see and had a splitting headache about 2 minutes after. Had to go and hide in the boat!

 

What made it worse was that some stroppy madame had a go at us for coming through on their time, even though we'd waited for 3 hours. Didn't help either that boats still tried to get through the stop lock even though there were no room for any more.

 

If I'd have been in there, I'd have struggled to breathe, diesel fumes give me a sore throat, so in that amount I'd probably been in a bit of trouble...

[Smelly]

I certainly wouldn't!!!

 

I wouldn't walk it again either!

[twocvbloke]

I wouldn't walk it again either!

 

It'd be difficult to if it's closed...

Edited August 26, 2008 by twocvbloke

[WJM]

Sprint through in a canoe with no lights and too long to turn around inside wondering if a canoe in reverse can outrun a narrowboat?

[Hairy-Neil]

I wouldn't walk it again either!

 

I decided to walk through Chirk tunnel once when the boat I was meeting there had not arrived. Obviously no torch but from the end it seemed like it would be fine. It wasn't. Once inside it was very dark. Decided to carry on, guided by running my hand along the top of the rail. As with Smelly the potholes were heart stopping moments...

 

You live and learn...

[WJM]

Another canoe related one - racing through the Savernake Tunnel on the K&A, a crew in front of me became disorientated in the darkness, crashed into the wall and capsized. They became totally panic stricken and tried to grab me and my boat which would only pull me in with them. After fending them off with a few paddle blows they suddenly realised the water is waist deep, so they walked out!

[richardf]

Someone followed me through the Harecastle a few years ago and played the sax for the whole trip - amazing!

[sociable_hermit]

If you ever hear anyone singing a very rude version of the Twelve Days of Christmas in a tunnel, that'll be us

[Bagpuss]

A couple of years ago, we were cruising up the Llangollen on Sudan with some friends on their rather deep and heavy Barry Hawkings boat. Anyway they got stemmmed up in front of us the middle of chirk tunnel.

 

I'm not sure if this is accepted practice, Smelly on the tiller of Sudan shoving this lovely expensive boat forwards while the rest of us were on the towpath with ropes bow-hauling her. it took about half an hour to get her out of the tunnel, and, has been mentioned before, every pothole was a nightmare!

 

On the way back we went in front and towed her through.

[twocvbloke]

Someone followed me through the Harecastle a few years ago and played the sax for the whole trip - amazing!

 

That sounds pretty good, I guess they could play it of course!!!

 

If you ever hear anyone singing a very rude version of the Twelve Days of Christmas in a tunnel, that'll be us

 

I'll be sure to listen out for you when I next go through a tunnel...

[Richard Fairhurst]

Some friends that I did my first canal trips with had a habit of singing as we went through tunnels. Nothing wrong with that, you might think, however the songs they sang had lyrics which were, shall we say, interesting!

 

It's usually far too tempting to make some sort of noise. About 10-12 years ago we (about 10 of us, I think) were going through Chirk Tunnel on a knackered old ********** hireboat and launched into a rendition of Jerusalem. One of our party was claustrophobic and so walked over the top. She said she could hear it all the way across and it was one of the eeriest sounds she'd ever heard...

 

I sometimes have a quick blast on the accordion. But I'm very very tempted to fit an inverter for the sole purpose of being able to play that Bach Toccata & Fugue in D minor (BWV 565) on the organ in tunnels.

 

I was expecting at least one towpath closed when we did it recently, but both sides were open, (only one side could have been locked, if I remember right...)

 

I understand some mad fools cycle those towpaths ? Respect!

Oh yes - have seen people doing that a couple of times. I managed about 200m on my bike the other month before deciding it was far too freaky and turning back...

 

The towpath gates on the 'north-western' side are meant to be locked (with a BW key), I believe, and just used for emergency access. But in reality they seem to be left open most of the time. The towpath on that side is reputedly in much worse nick, though, so the south-eastern side is the one to walk along.

[mayalld]

Well, it wasn't us doing something silly in a tunnel, and I can't say that we were unduly upset about the silliness from the boat in front.

 

Last year, going through Harecastle, first thing in the morning. Arrived at the tunnel for the first passage of the day, to find a hire boat full of Scandanavians had moored there for the night, and were all enjoying breakfast in their night attire.

 

Quiet at the back, even if you do know where this is going!

 

Twenty minutes later, we were off into the tunnel. Ten minutes in, we couldn't help but notice that the back doors of the Scandanavians boat was wide open, the interior lights were on, and that the female members of the party had cast off their night attire.

 

It is clearly a testament to my skill as a steerer that I managed to avoid crashing into the tunnel!

[twocvbloke]

Twenty minutes later, we were off into the tunnel. Ten minutes in, we couldn't help but notice that the back doors of the Scandanavians boat was wide open, the interior lights were on, and that the female members of the party had cast off their night attire.

 

It is clearly a testament to my skill as a steerer that I managed to avoid crashing into the tunnel!

 

Lucky so and so!!! I hope they didn't notice you though!!!

 

I want to go through the Harecastle tunnel myself, it looks fun, for those not of a claustrophobic nature...