bizzard

And there's the wind to consider. Full cabin Narrow boats are ''wind-rode''= because of the bigger area of it sticking up above the water than what's below so whichever is the stronger, tide or wind. If a side or head wind is stronger than the current it might not swing round.

Which is about normal for an engine being cooled directly by salt sea water.

The thread in the stern collar that the tube screws into will be rusty, screwing the tube back into it will tear the tubes thread and will not tighten right home. The steel collars thread must be scrupulously scraped out of rust, cleaned thoroughly and oiled before the tube wil screwed back in properly.

Same at coastal marinas. I used to give a weekend service in spring and autumn of transporting, launching, rigging and retrieving, de-rigging sailing cruisers, mainly at Bradwell on sea marina. If I had time I'd ask the owner if they'd like a little sail around the estuary to make sure all was ok, usually they did. Anyway, when autumn and hauling out time came around I discovered that most of the boats I'd rigged and set up hadn't been sailed at all, I just knew because everything was just as I'd left it in the spring and still all in the particular way in which I tie things off. They may have popped around the bay on the auxiliary motor, but that was about it.

If you do want to deploy the anchor from the stern end, do so by coiling its rope neatly before hand alongside you then dump the anchor over and when it bites take one turn of the rope around a stern bollard and pay it out hand over hand slowly keeping a steady strain on it. This will slow and arrest the boats forward motion with the tide gently without ducking the stern under.

And on to Weeze for the incontinent.

Carry an enormous board with HELP! written on it, just in case.

The water pump is a Jabsco and probably needs a new impeller, easy to fit. 6 little screws holding the pumps top plate, remove and hook out the old impeller with snipe nose pliers. Cleghorn Waring ''Jabsco'' are at Icknield Way Letchworth.

Dragging around shops with my mum as a kid, how can I forget.

365748.

Oh! don't keep hassling them you lot, let them be. They'll venture out in their own good time, you'll see.

Illegal or not, what does it matter, really. Old Fred was an icon so let's hear more.

Formula 1 cars should have a hooter too. Look how many times a car clouts the back of the car in front whilst trying to overtake, mainly on bends. David Colthard must have cost McLaren millions for this reason a few years ago with faster cars piling into the back of his car because he'd cut em off from overtaking, not on purpose I don't think, he's a decent chap and I doubt would do it on purpose, he always said he just didn't seem them. I think he's one of those folk with a rear view mirror reversal problem and really needed to swivel his head around to look. If the overtaking cars had had headlights they could have flashed him to warn him. I think the pit crews virtually drive the cars now almost fly by wire these days.

Beeping car hooters, don't make the right distinctive enough noise for boats, nor are they loud enough to be heard by a boat coming the other way which has the helm standing on top of a noisy air cooled engine like me and is sailing along in a melancholy stupor due to slight traumatic deafness caused by said engine.

I wouldn't go for vehicle hooters, folk'll think there's a floating car approaching or its a car hooter on a nearby road.

The whole business of boating is a pain, fraught with all sorts of horrid dangers and maniacs. Karl Pilkington. The Moaning of life.

And yet if you can remove metal particles and moisture from old engine oil ''not too old though'', your left with a nice slippery lubricant, virtually Molybdium disulphide because of the combustion sulpher carbon content. Try comparing new oil and old oil by rubbing between the fingers, the old oil feels more slippery.

If you do fill it with a finger your bound to get pockets of air trapped in the tube and need to keep poking the grease with a rod as you fill it to release them.

Fluoride.