Easter eggs.

[bizzard]

Well of course you could ask a real chicken.

Normal chocolate Easter eggs are I think quite boring things, even the expensive ones that rattle when shaken containing internally a few measly chocolate buttons or Smarties, and as for those orrible sickly-sweet Cream egg offerings cluck! yuk! yuk! All just rapid tooth decay.

So here's how to knock up your own real Easter eggs.

You can of course go and buy chickens eggs from a shop or supermarket but its best to find someone who keeps laying hens as pets, pets with names such as Martha, Hilda, Ethel, Tracey ect or a dour ironic chicken keeper might call em after the battery breeds such names like Vidor, Ever-ready, Durracell ect.

Anyhow approach your favored hen with a soft lined egg tray and just wait for the little divel to start laying so you can grab the biggest and best eggs 'fresh'. This egg laying usually occurs at night I think for some unaccountable reason so take a torch along, be patient and wait, wait and wait. Suddenly the hen starts wobbling about and cluck clucking like mad which is the sign that its about to lay a clutch of lovely fresh eggs. When laid select the best of em rejecting any with little Lions stamped on em which means the hens clucking about trying to play yolks on you.

On your way home with the eggs call at a shop and buy a few slabs of cheap chocolate, the cheap 30p a slab Tesco value stuff will do.

Next hard boil your eggs until solid, peel the shells off carefully without digging chips and chunks out of them with your dirty finger nails, a common visual and irritating fault when hard boiled eggs are presented to you garnishing a salad. Melt the chocolate in a pan on the stove and pop your eggs in it, shuffling them about so as to fully coat them with the chocolate. If you wish to play a yolk on someone then don't boil their egg just pop it into the chocolate mixture raw shell and all. Let the eggs cool a bit. The outer chocolate shells can be patterned like professional ones with a wire brush or old hair comb.

A nice touch although unusual is to, whilst the chocolates still soft coat the shell by rollin em about in crushed nuts this gives em an overall distinktive flavour and then munch in and enjoy.

[BlueStringPudding]

 

Thanks, Biz

[Phil Ambrose]

Wow Biz, I dont know how you think these things up, though flawed on a chickens egg laying practices it did have me "cracking" up with laughter, eggsactly what you hoped would happen, I liked the "yolk" joke too.

 

Phil

[Ron T]

Well of course you could ask a real chicken.

Normal chocolate Easter eggs are I think quite boring things, even the expensive ones that rattle when shaken containing internally a few measly chocolate buttons or Smarties, and as for those orrible sickly-sweet Cream egg offerings cluck! yuk! yuk! All just rapid tooth decay.

So here's how to knock up your own real Easter eggs.

You can of course go and buy chickens eggs from a shop or supermarket but its best to find someone who keeps laying hens as pets, pets with names such as Martha, Hilda, Ethel, Tracey ect or a dour ironic chicken keeper might call em after the battery breeds such names like Vidor, Ever-ready, Durracell ect.

Anyhow approach your favored hen with a soft lined egg tray and just wait for the little divel to start laying so you can grab the biggest and best eggs 'fresh'. This egg laying usually occurs at night I think for some unaccountable reason so take a torch along, be patient and wait, wait and wait. Suddenly the hen starts wobbling about and cluck clucking like mad which is the sign that its about to lay a clutch of lovely fresh eggs. When laid select the best of em rejecting any with little Lions stamped on em which means the hens clucking about trying to play yolks on you.

On your way home with the eggs call at a shop and buy a few slabs of cheap chocolate, the cheap 30p a slab Tesco value stuff will do.

Next hard boil your eggs until solid, peel the shells off carefully without digging chips and chunks out of them with your dirty finger nails, a common visual and irritating fault when hard boiled eggs are presented to you garnishing a salad. Melt the chocolate in a pan on the stove and pop your eggs in it, shuffling them about so as to fully coat them with the chocolate. If you wish to play a yolk on someone then don't boil their egg just pop it into the chocolate mixture raw shell and all. Let the eggs cool a bit. The outer chocolate shells can be patterned like professional ones with a wire brush or old hair comb.

A nice touch although unusual is to, whilst the chocolates still soft coat the shell by rollin em about in crushed nuts this gives em an overall distinktive flavour and then munch in and enjoy.

You are addled mate!

[Ray T]

One of my collection of mother's in law came from Newcastle on Tyne and on Easter day we used to "jarp" hard boiled eggs.

 

Then eat them with salt, cheese and hot cross buns.

 

http://en.wikipedia....iki/Egg_tapping

 

She used to boil them wrapped in onion skins so they had pretty patterns on them.

Edited March 30, 2013 by Ray T

[Peter Reed]

An Indian restaurant in Surre has created a"not for bunnies" easter egg. Ten times hotter than a vindaloo. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-21981063